Being Friends before Dating
March 16, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Rants & Reviews
Okay, this is the age old question every guy has struggled with since some poor schmoe invented the whole concept of "courting." And that is, do you want to befriend a girl before you start dating her?
Fezz on the Don Juan Discussion Forum writes…
Fezz writes:
so guys, what do you think about being friends before dating???Two friends of mine that are girls were best friends with their boyfriends before they started dating. They both told me they built up alot of trust in each other before they dated their men since they were good friends with them. the relationships for both of them have lasted quite long also. What do you all think about this?? I think its a little awkward when I date a person I have been friends with. It almost goes against the teachings of the site in a way, but I have noticed it has worked in many cases for my friends. Do you think that with some people, even if you are in "the friends zone" that there is a good possibility to hook up, or do you all think it is stupid to date someone you arent good friends with, and that it is always best to date someone you dont really know that well?
You can read the whole thread here.
Now, I’ve been in PLENTY of situations where I was friends with a girl I wanted to date. In fact, that used to be my M.O. I’d befriend a girl before trying to get them into a romantic relationship. The only problem is, this tactic never worked for me. Ever. Either the act of befriending the girl killed any attraction she had for me because I became so supplicative, or there was no attraction with the girl to begin with and I wouldn’t be able to move out of the "friend" zone.
But I do know guys for which this tactic DOES work. And I think the difference between the guys this method works for and the guys it doesn’t is how the "friendship" part of it is handled. If you become a girl’s emotional tampon, like, the type of guy that she talks to about her problems, the type of guy who’s "there for her," that she can always "depend on," before you introduce sexuality into the dynamic, you’re screwed.
The guys this usually works for are pretty good at keeping some type of sexual tension in the relationship. They create value for themselves, are aloof, spontaneous, adventurous, and most of all — FUN! They don’t concern themselves with the "therapist" role so many guys fall into with girls, so there’s always that underlying hint of sexuality when dealing with their girl "friends."
What we do when we learn to be "Pick-Up Artists" is we learn how to quickly create sexual tension and exploit it so we can hyperdrive into getting sexual with a woman. Once the sex is established, friendship can be instituted for the long game of LTR (Long Term Relationship). I think this is valuable for most AFCs to learn, because a lot of guys just don’t know how to bring their sexuality into an interaction with a woman. It’s also a much faster method of getting a girl than the "befriending" tactic.
I’d be interested to hear from people who typically go down this road of making friends with the girl and then moving into sex. Actually, I’d be even MORE interested in hearing from guys who’ve been pegged as friends, and successfully moved out of that into having a sexual relationship with the girl. Though I doubt there are many guys out there who have been successful in this respect.
proekt pereplanirovki kvartiri_zuPr on 
lenoks-dog.ru on 
proekt pereplanirovki kvartiri_gwPt on 
proekt pereplanirovki kvartiri_bpPt on 
JacobRhigo on 
Good topic. Listen, there’s gotta be something that separates the Plantonic Friend from the Fuck Friend…and that something is SEXUAL EXCITEMENT.
My biggest pet-peeve as an AFC was when I’d make a move on a woman with respect etc…and get rejected. “I have a boyfriend,” “I’m too busy,” and “I just got out of a relationship and I’m taking time out for myself right now,” were the three most common excuses I got. Not 5 minutes would pass when some “badboy” would come up behind me…and hit on the same girl, and HE would wind up fucking her on the same night…no longer than the 3rd. EVERY TIME.
And I got tired of that shit.
It used to make me sick to my damn stomach. Then I thought about it. What is it that these guys are doing that I’m not? And the answer came:
1. They come at women in a friendly manner to establish a light friendship (read: comfort and trust).
2. They quickly poor on the sexuality to generate sexual excitement.
3. They act dinterested in the chick until she’s ready to fuck. The chick winds up getting the point that she’s not to bug the guy too much unless she’s ready to gap her legs open.
4. Also, badboys aren’t afraid to bust on women for the silly things they do.
What’s cool about it all is that the badboy lays the dick down well. I’ve never heard a woman talk bad about a bad boy in the bedroom…EVER. As a result, whenever she’s horny, HE will be the first thing she thinks off. Hence the FUCK BUDDY EFFECT.
Ever since this little revelation, I stopped coming in directly (saying I like them and asking for dates) and started coming in like a potential friend (just shooting the breeze with chicks on hot topics).
I stopped being afraid to display any sexuality for fear of “offending” the woman and now when I see a chick has gotten “comfy” with me, I then move into sex talk and it’s basically OVER from there.
Along the way to getting sex, after I generate that initial attraction (even as a potential friend) I just back off almost completely by acting soooo disinterested, the chick is chasing ME for validation for her hotness. She feels something is “wrong” with her, because she “had” me then “lost” me all of a sudden.
And as far as busting on women and calling them on their BS goes, nowadays I don’t even approach women unless I have something to bust them on. And I make it a point to lay the “pipe” down as good or better than she’s ever had it to keep her “cumming” back for more.
Anyway, all of the above equals me being the FUCK FRIEND. I’m reeling a couple of chicks in right now, as I type this with the same tactics I’ve just given.
EXPERIMENT: TRY THIS 21 Day Drill
–
You see a woman you want? Great. Pick out at least 3 things she might be insecure about. You will use these things to “neg” her on AFTER you compliment her on these same things. If there’s nothing wrong with her, then make something up, dammit…lol. Example: I see a chick with:
1. Split ends.
2. Smeared makeup.
3. Chipped toe-nail polish.
The compliments and negs (*COMPLINEGS*…I’m coining the phrase…lol) for all of these might look like THIS:
1. (SMILING) Hi, there! I just wanted to tell you that your hair looks sooo sexy like that…I won’t tell anybody about the split ends if you don’t, but I guess it still looks sexy nonetheless.
2. Hello, how are you? You know your makeup looks great! It makes your eyes stand out. Your lipstick is a little smeared, though. What did you do, put it on in the dark?
3. Hi. Wow! Your toes are sooo sexy! They would look even better if it weren’t for the chipped toe-nail polish, but hey, they still look pretty good, I guess.
Start all of the above with a smile and finish them with a wink and a smile. Then WALK OFF giggling. From that point on act disinterested whenever you see her.
Try doing this at least 5 times a day for 21 days (3 weeks). It gets you used to approaching and feeling like you’re “one-up” on the chick. Builds MUCHO confidence in the process (and internalizes these positive feelings) The most important thing to gain from this is the REACTIONS to it.
When you compliment the chick, you’ll notice she will almost always be looking away and not make eye contact with you, but when you NEG her right behind that, her eyes are PLANTED on you!
You validated her hotness with the compliment, first (like all the other chumps, so you seem NO different), then you INVALIDATED her hotness with the neg (making you a UNIQUE “MAN” and different from all the chumps).
She will seek to regain that validation by getting you to show interest. Never give this validation by showing interest. Remain DISINTERESTED. Bust on her every time SHE shows interest. You’re letting it be known without saying a word that the only way she gets validation for her hotness from you…is if she FUCKS YOU.
Here’s the kicker: Having sex with a desirable guy is MAJOR validation for a woman’s hotness. And by INVALIDATING her with the neg, and acting disinterested, thus, separating yourself from a field full of chumps…you JUST became a “desirable” guy.
–
Once you complete the drill above, the next step will be 1 of 3 options based on how she responds:
1. She negs you back. YOU: have a C & F response (in reference to her liking you) ready to “boomerang” her negavity back at her.
Ex:
Response 1: She Negs
HER: “Your hair looks crappy too!”
YOU: “Damn baby, I like you too, but I’m not that type guy. I’m not ready yet.” (WALK OFF)
Response 2: She makes excuses.
HER: (SHOCKED AND EMBARASSED) “Oh, I was tired and in such a hurry when I put my makeup on today!”
YOU: Uh-huh. And I’m from MARS…LOL. Hey, let me get your opinion on something….(Neutral opinion opener etc)
Response 3: She laughs.
HER: “Hahahaha. I meant to repaint my toes today.” (She’s touching you on the arm as she laughs)
YOU: Damn, girl, you just feeling all on me. I want you too, but do you REALLY want to do this in public?
HER: “HAHAHAHAHA.” (She’s touching you MORE)
YOU: There you go touching me again…ya damn FREAK!! Is that all you women think about is SEX!!
HER: (LAUGHING HARDER)You’re soooo sick!
YOU: I know that’s what they tell me. Hey, let me get your opinion on something….(Neutral opinion opener)
She laughs. She touches you and that’s a sign of interest so bust her heavily on it is the point here.
REMEMBER: Talk to her but act disinterested throughout the majority of the convo. When you get ready to leave, say “Nice meeting you” shake her hand and go and she’ll most likely stop you and give you her number. Make sure you qualify her for it if she tries.
The rest you know.
Yeeeeeeeeeeesssss, interesting….ISN’T IT??
Think about it.
Tingly
The People’s Champ of Seduction
P.S. This shit is MONEY on 9′s and 10′s simply because the NEVER expect to be negged, but what do *I* know. I just post here.
I can’t believe any guys actually think this will get them a woman with any self-respect.
That’s okay if the guy has none either, then she won’t threaten him.
Personally, it screams LOSER loud and clear if any guy makes the remotest attempt to get sexual with me when I will already have been upfront that without a ring on my finger, there won’t BE any sex. Period.
758080 593419I consider something really particular in this site. 887312
82246 958314I was examining some of your content material on this internet web site and I believe this site is rattling instructive! Maintain putting up. 533701
353191 521832Hi, you used to write superb articles, but the last several posts have been kinda lackluster? I miss your super writing. Past few posts are just just a little out of track! 878974
813376 559417So, is this just for men, just for women, or is it for both sexes If it s not, then do women require to do anything different to put on muscle 70536
21316 165506This internet web site may be a walk-through its the data you wanted in regards to this and didn?t know who need to. Glimpse here, and you will definitely discover it. 114503
941061 658706Hello! I would wish to supply a large thumbs up for your superb info you could have here about this post. I?ll be coming back to your blog website for further soon. 515415
832086 303163hi and thanks for the actual weblog post ive recently been looking regarding this specific advice on-line for sum hours these days as a result thanks 349488
578122 578916Thank you for the auspicious writeup. It in fact was a amusement account it. Look advanced to much more added agreeable from you! Even so, how could we communicate? 535847
377218 320219Directories such given that the Yellow Websites need to have not list them, so unlisted numbers strength sometimes be alive more harm than financial assistance. 683341
350565 203445Remarkable weblog layout here. Was it hard creating a good looking site like this? 867705
944920 582479bless you with regard to the particular weblog post ive actually been searching regarding this kind of information on the web for sum time appropriate now as a result cheers 154997