Getting Comfortable

Well, Tyler Durden put up a new post in the Tactics board of mASF which is neither LONG nor CONVOLUTED! (Huzzah!)

It seems TD is getting back to basics, which is nice. I like not having to set aside a good two hours just to read through a post he puts up. His little thing about getting comfortable so you can work is pretty basic, but I think it’s a solid thing most guys should be concerned about.

Tyler Durden writes:
A big mistake I see a lot of guys making is not sitting the girls down or getting them somewhere comfortable where they can work. They’ll often try to game up the girls in areas with people-traffic, or where they’re standing and not leaning against anything. I can’t see this being very effective because the girls aren’t comfortable and neither are you. Also, because you’re standing for so long, it conveys a bit too much interest, just in the sense of “why is this dude who is supposedly the prize standing in this uncomfortable place for so long just to chat me when I haven’t even done anything to convey value to him yet?” (obviously they don’t think this exact line).

In every set, I’ll want to get them seated ASAP. I’ll often hit them on a high point of a story and start backing up. I’ll back up onto the seat, and talk louder (like I walk backwards as I talk, just really smooth). Usually they’ll follow because they’re liking the emotions they’re getting from the stories. If they don’t, I motion my hands to wave them over slightly, or tease them to come over. I want to be leaning against a wall where there is no traffic, or preferably seated but the first is fine if there’s no seating around.

Likewise, in loud clubs, if its too loud to go too long, I’ll blurt out “Have you ever been CUBE’ed before? It’s awesome. I ask you five questions and you’ll get back info about yourself that not even your friends knew. It’s awesome, you *have* to see it.” (I oversell it to move them to the couch). Personally I think its lame to offer gimmicks like that without them earning it, but I think its even worse to have to stand there in a uncomfortably loud area, and I just want them seated ASAP. I think its also key that you’re CUBE’ing her to amuse yourself to see the results, rather than to impress her in anyway. So I’ll sit them down and often times I won’t even do it, or I’ll run it and then run backwards on my regular program and continue from there.

I think its interesting that the only difference between you meeting a girl who could even become your girlfriend, or not, is just that you got her logistically comfortable ASAP, so that her ASD wouldn’t go up or anything due to you gaming her so extensively in an uncomfortable location.

Of course, just moving them around the room and venue changing is great also. I do seated preferably though, because I can work in closer and phase shift, or just build comfort effectively in a location where I can really work.

Anyway, I know this sounds subtle, but it really makes the difference between things going well and not going anywhere at all.

You can read the whole thread and all the responses from Tyler’s Space Monkies here