How Your Mission In Life Trumps Inner Game Problems by Doctor Paul
September 20, 2008 by DrPaul
Filed under Articles, Dr Paul, Guest Authors
It’s important to LOOK at yourself from time to time, and examine your mission in life.
Of course when we cover all of the psychology of personal growth in my visual system called mindOS, we learn about a little thing psychoanalysts call Observing Ego. This is the ability to take a step outside yourself, look back and judge how you’re doing in your relationships to others. Observing Ego is also the FIRST skill all human beings have to learn in doing ANY personal growth.
In fact, it is IMPOSSIBLE to grow, change, or evolve without this skill. And it is a LEARNED skill very few of us have the fortune or teaching to cultivate.
Many of you have also asked general questions about your missions in life as men. I know it’s a no-brainer that we all have “missions in life,” but really, how much time have you literally spent imagining, planning, plotting, and discussing your personal mission as a man with those who you might consider your teammates? Very few.
There is a term used in self-help circles called a “mastermind group.” To my experience this is a group of guys who support and advise each other on their lives, their projects, and their growth. All of this is a very good thing, and if you look closely at the community of men who get together to learn about what makes women tick, you see this same kind of phenomenon.
I just had an interesting phone conversation with a guy. He found me through the community, and while he claimed that his main problem was the very first steps of relating to women – approach anxiety.
This guy had been through all the bootcamps and seminars out there, and was frustrated in that he still had a problem even going up to women.
The interesting thing is that he had ALSO been to a therapist for “issues” with anxiety and even had some EMDR done for this (a type of therapy that is the world’s top technology in reversing unhealthy belief systems.)
So he took me to task.
“What’s wrong with me?” he said.
I told him that maybe there really isn’t that much so wrong. Certainly, EMDR could work away at negative beliefs about approaching women, but when it comes right down to it, a moment of COURAGE is absolutely necessary. In that moment there is no one to hold your hand and do it FOR you. YOU have to be the one to take action.
I told him that I sensed that he was falling into this pit of “thinking his way out of anxiety.” Which led me to propose what clinical professionals have all kinds of complicated language to explain. What ultimately I would have to simplify for him (and you) would be this:
THINKING cannot be a cure for anxiety. ACTION is.
The conversation with this guy made me think a lot of course, but we can take a little action right here.
What I realized is that he is right about BOTH the deficits of the community AND the deficits in professional counseling fields when it comes to helping MEN SPECIFICALLY.
Neither can be the other, and neither really KNOWS that much about the other.
Where on the one hand, the men’s community has great goals and really is supportive of guys who are ‘good with women’ hanging up a shingle and simply teaching their own homespun way of “being good with women” – what is going on amounts to purchased friendship. At worst, this is like boys teaching boys how to be men.
Don’t get me wrong. It’s great and admirable to help others with whatever great spirit and optimism you have in side. To be sure. But if I personally was going to pay someone a lot of money I would want something that isn’t as easily available as just going out with my male friends who are pretty good with communicating to women. That’s FREE to me and to anyone who has guy friends or wingmen buddies.
Why should I have to pay for that?
So I had to agree with this guy’s frustration. You can’t pick up books like The Idiot’s Guide to Psychology, and in so doing, envision yourself a psychologist.
Where our conversation got interesting though was when we then also turned to his own therapy and counseling. Websites are not the proper place to substitute for real, bona fide therapy or medical care in person. No way. There’s a reason it’s done in an office and a bigger reason you have to be licensed and accredited to do it. It takes skill, training and experience with REAL patients and cases.
However, this guy was also right that my own professional field tends to use a bunch of clunky terminology and overcomplicated systems and processes that get bogged down in bureaucracy. It’s a Byzantine system of delivery that is nearly impossible to introduce new innovations and ideas to.
What’s worse, the conversation with this guy made it ever more clear to me that in thinking of all the training and experience professionals get in their educations, there really is no specialized field called “men’s psychology.” My own field has a way of excluding men or even treating them as if the same systems and treatments that “work for women” ought to be equally as useful to them.
This is just not true. Men and women are quite equal, and yet different in how their psychology works, and what it needs to feel completely passionate about life.
Many millions of men are suffering for lack of specific attention to their unique needs, a call that to a large degree, my own professional field has not answered.
To realize that it is not only useful, needed, and beneficial, but crucial, primal, and urgent for a man to learn how to be effective with women – well my own field is hampered by stigmas and political correctness as to whether men REALLY need such a thing. They simply look the other way and mutter “men should be able to just figure that out. It makes them look like misogynists if they try teaching or learning that anyway.
Enter the community of men becoming a marketplace.
So on the one hand you have the utterly untrained trying to do the job of professionals (and failing miserably as in the case of this gentleman), and on the other hand you have professionals looking the other way and ignoring a very serious public mental health problem in society.
Add to all this that both essentially ignore the deep importance of having a mission in life as a man, which we thoroughly and scientifically address in my Mature Masculine Power range of products, and you see that even with both the community and therapists out there, we STILL have a massive unmet need to meet.
Which I think solidified for me today a little refinement of my own personal mission. I realized that I am a translator and interpreter between these two worlds – the men’s community and mainstream academia.
In fact, what we teach you at my website for men and the forums there amounts to an uncharted territory that truly blends the two.
One thing the guy I talked to really needed was an understanding of what it really means to be a real man, to go through “initiation.”
In talking about this we also discovered the importance in his life (and any man’s life) of having a TEAM of men who all have similar missions, and he was blown away by how my KWML tactics (King, Warrior, Magician and Lover) don’t just address spotting the right women, but also represents a technology of FRIENDSHIP – how friendship literally makes the world go ‘round, empowers not only your relationships to women, but brings together the very team you need to truly and realistically reach your life’s goals.
Your mission as a man.
The gentleman above learned that in getting COMPETENT professional help, and cultivating friends with whom to go face his fears, what was missing was a sense of “permission” to approach women. Now he could give HIMSELF permission.
This kind of insight only comes from the academic world which sees many hundreds of thousands of patients – but applied in a way that is specific, meant for, and only means something to MEN.
One thing is for sure. I stand behind a statement I make at every seminar: THERE IS A SOLUTION TO EVERY PROBLEM. No matter your problem, you can always refresh yourself as you focus again on your mission in life. Women sense it within you, and you will start to also.






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Axolotls are members of a class of animals called amphibians, which also includes frogs. Amphibians lay their jelly-like eggs in water, and the eggs hatch into water-dwelling larval states. (In frogs, these larvae are called tadpoles.)
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Axolotls, however, never complete the metamorphosis to a land-dwelling adult form and spend their whole lives in the water.
“They maintain their juvenile look throughout the course of their life,” Voss said. “They’re teenagers, at least in appearance, until they die.”
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Why axolotls seem to be everywhere — except in the one lake they call home
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Scientist Dr. Randal Voss gets the occasional reminder that he’s working with a kind of superstar. When he does outreach events with his laboratory, he encounters people who are keen to meet his research subjects: aquatic salamanders called axolotls.
The amphibians’ fans tell Voss that they know the animals from the internet, or from caricatures or stuffed animals, exclaiming, “‘They’re so adorable, we love them,’” said Voss, a professor of neuroscience at the University of Kentucky College of Medicine. “People are drawn to them.”
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Take one look at an axolotl, and it’s easy to see why it’s so popular. With their wide eyes, upturned mouths and pastel pink coloring, axolotls look cheerful and vaguely Muppet-like.
They’ve skyrocketed in pop culture fame, in part thanks to the addition of axolotls to the video game Minecraft in 2021. These unusual salamanders are now found everywhere from Girl Scout patches to hot water bottles. But there’s more to axolotls than meets the eye: Their story is one of scientific discovery, exploitation of the natural world, and the work to rebuild humans’ connection with nature.
A scientific mystery
Axolotl is a word from Nahuatl, the Indigenous Mexican language spoken by the Aztecs and an estimated 1.5 million people today. The animals are named for the Aztec god Xolotl, who was said to transform into a salamander. The original Nahuatl pronunciation is “AH-show-LOAT”; in English, “ACK-suh-LAHT-uhl” is commonly used.
Axolotls are members of a class of animals called amphibians, which also includes frogs. Amphibians lay their jelly-like eggs in water, and the eggs hatch into water-dwelling larval states. (In frogs, these larvae are called tadpoles.)
Most amphibians, once they reach adulthood, are able to move to land. Since they breathe, in part, by absorbing oxygen through their moist skin, they tend to stay near water.
Axolotls, however, never complete the metamorphosis to a land-dwelling adult form and spend their whole lives in the water.
“They maintain their juvenile look throughout the course of their life,” Voss said. “They’re teenagers, at least in appearance, until they die.”
Why axolotls seem to be everywhere — except in the one lake they call home
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Scientist Dr. Randal Voss gets the occasional reminder that he’s working with a kind of superstar. When he does outreach events with his laboratory, he encounters people who are keen to meet his research subjects: aquatic salamanders called axolotls.
The amphibians’ fans tell Voss that they know the animals from the internet, or from caricatures or stuffed animals, exclaiming, “‘They’re so adorable, we love them,’” said Voss, a professor of neuroscience at the University of Kentucky College of Medicine. “People are drawn to them.”
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Take one look at an axolotl, and it’s easy to see why it’s so popular. With their wide eyes, upturned mouths and pastel pink coloring, axolotls look cheerful and vaguely Muppet-like.
They’ve skyrocketed in pop culture fame, in part thanks to the addition of axolotls to the video game Minecraft in 2021. These unusual salamanders are now found everywhere from Girl Scout patches to hot water bottles. But there’s more to axolotls than meets the eye: Their story is one of scientific discovery, exploitation of the natural world, and the work to rebuild humans’ connection with nature.
A scientific mystery
Axolotl is a word from Nahuatl, the Indigenous Mexican language spoken by the Aztecs and an estimated 1.5 million people today. The animals are named for the Aztec god Xolotl, who was said to transform into a salamander. The original Nahuatl pronunciation is “AH-show-LOAT”; in English, “ACK-suh-LAHT-uhl” is commonly used.
Axolotls are members of a class of animals called amphibians, which also includes frogs. Amphibians lay their jelly-like eggs in water, and the eggs hatch into water-dwelling larval states. (In frogs, these larvae are called tadpoles.)
Most amphibians, once they reach adulthood, are able to move to land. Since they breathe, in part, by absorbing oxygen through their moist skin, they tend to stay near water.
Axolotls, however, never complete the metamorphosis to a land-dwelling adult form and spend their whole lives in the water.
“They maintain their juvenile look throughout the course of their life,” Voss said. “They’re teenagers, at least in appearance, until they die.”
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Tbilisi, Georgia — Jailed journalist Mzia Amaghlobeli gets weaker every day as her hunger strike has reached three weeks in Rustavi, a town near the Georgian capital of Tbilisi, her lawyer says. Now the 49-year-old is having difficulty walking the short distance from her cell to the room where they usually meet, and human rights officials, colleagues and family fear for her life.
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Amaghlobeli was arrested Jan. 12 during an anti-government protest in the coastal city of Batumi, one of over 40 people in custody on criminal charges from a series of demonstrations that have hit the South Caucasus nation of 3.7 million in recent months.
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The political turmoil follows a parliamentary election that was won by the ruling Georgian Dream party, although its opponents allege the vote was rigged.
Protests highlight battle over Georgia’s future. Here’s why it matters.
Its outcome pushed Georgia further into Russia’s orbit of influence. Georgia aspired to join the European Union, but the party suspended accession talks with the bloc after the election.
As it sought to cement its grip on power, Georgian Dream has cracked down on freedom of assembly and expression in what the opposition says is similar to President Vladimir Putin’s actions in neighboring Russia, its former imperial ruler.
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Lightning is a dramatic display of electrical power, but it is also sporadic and unpredictable. Even on a volatile Earth billions of years ago, lightning may have been too infrequent to produce amino acids in quantities sufficient for life — a fact that has cast doubt on such theories in the past, Zare said.
Water spray, however, would have been more common than lightning. A more likely scenario is that mist-generated microlightning constantly zapped amino acids into existence from pools and puddles, where the molecules could accumulate and form more complex molecules, eventually leading to the evolution of life.
“Microdischarges between obviously charged water microdroplets make all the organic molecules observed previously in the Miller-Urey experiment,” Zare said. “We propose that this is a new mechanism for the prebiotic synthesis of molecules that constitute the building blocks of life.”
However, even with the new findings about microlightning, questions remain about life’s origins, he added. While some scientists support the notion of electrically charged beginnings for life’s earliest building blocks, an alternative abiogenesis hypothesis proposes that Earth’s first amino acids were cooked up around hydrothermal vents on the seafloor, produced by a combination of seawater, hydrogen-rich fluids and extreme pressure.
Yet another hypothesis suggests that organic molecules didn’t originate on Earth at all. Rather, they formed in space and were carried here by comets or fragments of asteroids, a process known as panspermia.
“We still don’t know the answer to this question,” Zare said. “But I think we’re closer to understanding something more about what could have happened.”
Though the details of life’s origins on Earth may never be fully explained, “this study provides another avenue for the formation of molecules crucial to the origin of life,” Williams said. “Water is a ubiquitous aspect of our world, giving rise to the moniker ‘Blue Marble’ to describe the Earth from space. Perhaps the falling of water, the most crucial element that sustains us, also played a greater role in the origin of life on Earth than we previously recognized.”
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Water and life
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Lightning is a dramatic display of electrical power, but it is also sporadic and unpredictable. Even on a volatile Earth billions of years ago, lightning may have been too infrequent to produce amino acids in quantities sufficient for life — a fact that has cast doubt on such theories in the past, Zare said.
Water spray, however, would have been more common than lightning. A more likely scenario is that mist-generated microlightning constantly zapped amino acids into existence from pools and puddles, where the molecules could accumulate and form more complex molecules, eventually leading to the evolution of life.
“Microdischarges between obviously charged water microdroplets make all the organic molecules observed previously in the Miller-Urey experiment,” Zare said. “We propose that this is a new mechanism for the prebiotic synthesis of molecules that constitute the building blocks of life.”
However, even with the new findings about microlightning, questions remain about life’s origins, he added. While some scientists support the notion of electrically charged beginnings for life’s earliest building blocks, an alternative abiogenesis hypothesis proposes that Earth’s first amino acids were cooked up around hydrothermal vents on the seafloor, produced by a combination of seawater, hydrogen-rich fluids and extreme pressure.
Yet another hypothesis suggests that organic molecules didn’t originate on Earth at all. Rather, they formed in space and were carried here by comets or fragments of asteroids, a process known as panspermia.
“We still don’t know the answer to this question,” Zare said. “But I think we’re closer to understanding something more about what could have happened.”
Though the details of life’s origins on Earth may never be fully explained, “this study provides another avenue for the formation of molecules crucial to the origin of life,” Williams said. “Water is a ubiquitous aspect of our world, giving rise to the moniker ‘Blue Marble’ to describe the Earth from space. Perhaps the falling of water, the most crucial element that sustains us, also played a greater role in the origin of life on Earth than we previously recognized.”
Broken spheres
Dyson died in 2020 before any of his spheres could be found — although they are just one of a dozen ideas that bear his name.
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“As a young scientist, Dyson showed that three competing quantum theories were actually the same theory — he summarily ended the competition,” said William Press, the Leslie Surginer Professor of Computer Science and Integrative Biology at the University of Texas at Austin. He was not involved in the study. “Later, he applied his genius to areas of astronomy, cosmology, the extraterrestrial realm, and also the very real problem of nuclear proliferation here on planet Earth. At the time of his death, he was recognized as a provocative and creative thinker.”
George Dyson also attested to his father’s fascination and comprehensive reach across disciplines.
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“Taking advantage of a short attention span and an aversion to bureaucracy, he contributed to five fields of mathematics and eleven fields of physics, as well as to theoretical biology, engineering, operations research, literature, and public affairs,” the younger Dyson said. “Many of his ideas were controversial, with one of his guiding principles being that ‘It is better to be wrong than to be vague.’”
The approach of the researchers behind the new study could offer a more fruitful path in the search for extraterrestrial intelligence, said Tomotsugu Goto, an associate professor of astronomy at the National Tsing Hua University in Taiwan. He also was not involved with the study.
“However, contamination by circumstellar debris disks, which mimic Dyson Sphere infrared signatures, remains a concern,” he added in an email. “Authors argue that the debris disks around (dwarf stars) are rare, but the 7 candidate authors selected out of 5 million sources are also rare. Despite this, the seven candidates warrant further investigation with powerful telescopes for a more definitive evaluation.”
A job for the Webb space telescope
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“We got 53 candidates for anomalies that cannot be well explained, but can’t say that all of them are Dyson sphere candidates, because that’s not what we are specifically looking for,” said Gabriella Contardo, a postdoctoral research fellow at the International School for Advanced Studies in Trieste, Italy, who led the earlier study. She added that she plans to check the candidates against Suazo’s model to see how many tie into it.
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“You need to eliminate all other hypotheses and explanations before saying that they could be a Dyson sphere,” she added. “To do so you need to also rule out that it’s not some kind of debris disk, or some kind of planetary collision, and that also pushes the science forward in other fields of astronomy — so it’s a win-win.”
Both Contardo and Suazo agree that more research is needed on the data, and that ultimately they could turn to NASA’s James Webb Space Telescope for more information, as it is powerful enough to observe the candidate stars directly. However, because of the lengthy, competitive procedures that regulate use of the telescope, securing access might take some time.
If Dyson spheres really exist, what could they be used for? “If you picture ourselves having as much energy as the sun is providing every second, we could do unheard of things,” Suazo said. “We could do interstellar travel, maybe we could even move the entire solar system to our preferred location, if we wanted.”
But don’t hold your breath, because the technology and the raw materials required to build the hypothetical structures are far beyond humanity’s grasp.
“They are so big that everything we have on Earth would not be enough to build them,” Suazo added. “Freeman Dyson said that we should dismantle Jupiter — the whole planet (for the raw materials).”
That supercolossal scale probably means that Dyson spheres, if they exist at all, are very rare.
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“We got 53 candidates for anomalies that cannot be well explained, but can’t say that all of them are Dyson sphere candidates, because that’s not what we are specifically looking for,” said Gabriella Contardo, a postdoctoral research fellow at the International School for Advanced Studies in Trieste, Italy, who led the earlier study. She added that she plans to check the candidates against Suazo’s model to see how many tie into it.
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“You need to eliminate all other hypotheses and explanations before saying that they could be a Dyson sphere,” she added. “To do so you need to also rule out that it’s not some kind of debris disk, or some kind of planetary collision, and that also pushes the science forward in other fields of astronomy — so it’s a win-win.”
Both Contardo and Suazo agree that more research is needed on the data, and that ultimately they could turn to NASA’s James Webb Space Telescope for more information, as it is powerful enough to observe the candidate stars directly. However, because of the lengthy, competitive procedures that regulate use of the telescope, securing access might take some time.
If Dyson spheres really exist, what could they be used for? “If you picture ourselves having as much energy as the sun is providing every second, we could do unheard of things,” Suazo said. “We could do interstellar travel, maybe we could even move the entire solar system to our preferred location, if we wanted.”
But don’t hold your breath, because the technology and the raw materials required to build the hypothetical structures are far beyond humanity’s grasp.
“They are so big that everything we have on Earth would not be enough to build them,” Suazo added. “Freeman Dyson said that we should dismantle Jupiter — the whole planet (for the raw materials).”
That supercolossal scale probably means that Dyson spheres, if they exist at all, are very rare.
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