Cause and Effect
June 14, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
Grandmaster Dimitri, everyone’s favorite Swash-Buckling Pick-Up Artist, has an excellent post up about Cause & Effect that would make that snooty French guy from the Matrix cum in his pants.
Grandmaster Dimitri, Swash-Buckling Pick-Up Artist, writes:
Here’s one of the hugest mistakes in thinking I see with some guys here: They don’t get cause and effect.Curing effects will *never* fix your game. Instead, you’ve got to look for the *base* problem, the CAUSE.
Okay, let’s grab a hypothetical situation: “A woman said, ‘You’re a loser. Get lost’ to me.”
INCORRECT FLAWED VERY FUCKED UP THINKING: “What should I do?”
CORRECT THINKING THAT WILL IMPROVE YOUR GAME: “Why?”
You’ve got to figure out *why* a problem is happening, not how to deal with it. See, if you come across as someone that’s comfortable with himself, happy, well-adjusted, and that can’t be fucked with… guess what? You won’t get fucked with most of the time!
All sorts of problems with guys being assholes disappear if you’re a cool guy they don’t want to fuck with. Girls stop a lot of their shittyness if you give the aura that it doesn’t faze you AND that you’ll next her ass for the a better looking girl if she doesn’t treat you right.
So, let me answer half of the posts on the board, right now:
Q: A girl said XXX shit test to me. How should I respond?
A: Your response isn’t as big of a deal as understanding why she’s shit-testing you. It means she’s at least a little interested or has the potential to be, and wants to see if you’re the real deal or if you’ll blow yourself out. Once you understand this, shit-testing will stop annoying you, so you’ll pass by default. Cool, huh?Q: When I did XXX thing, negative XXX result happened. How should I treat the result?
A: Go back and troubleshoot your original tactic or routine, or toss it if it’s garbage.Q: Aggressive guy or girl did some jerk move to me, like threatening violence! How should I react?
A: It’s your image, through and through. Work on your bodylanguage, style, and attitude: If you don’t look like you can be fucked with, most people won’t fuck with you.
Q: I try to isolate a girl, but she says “blah blah excuse” when I try to! How should I respond?
A: Think about why she doesn’t want to be isolated at this point: Are her friends nearby and she doesn’t want to look like a slut? Does she not trust you enough? Is she *totally* horny and knows she’s going to fuck you if you two are alone, but also thinks you’re a quality guy and thus doesn’t want to fuck you yet? Figure that out, act appropriately.Get the idea? Specific situations mean jack and shit, since with a little work at the root cause of some bad stuff, all the nasty effects will go away.
Good stuff. I’m really digging Dimitri’s posts. He’s got a lot of good things to say.
You can check out the original thread here.
Diplomi_aaSt on 
Richardbeine on 
kypit kyrsovyu_nrEl on 
Earnestbop on 
I think this is fairly good, but I also think that it is bad advice at times.
In a lot of cases, bad effects are a part of a feedback loop, and “why” is “because I’m getting these bad effects”. Thus, just remove one or more effects will automatically remove the cause.
Of course, running meta-analysis is good (I do it all the time), but often it is more effective to handle the symptoms and let the “why” disappear by itself, or at least deal with things on both levels – as it is easy to identify a wrong “why”
Eivind.
Please. Where is the cursing
in French? I don’t see it.
I’ve survived all the others, and
I will survive him as well.
Bye bye.
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