David Shade’s Manual, Vol. 1
June 9, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Articles
Interviewing for High Self-Esteem Women
By David Shade
www.davidshade.com
I specifically interview for high self-esteem women. The most comprehensive discussion on self-esteem I have seen is by Nathaniel Branden at nathanielbranden.net. He articulated it well when he wrote:
"Self-esteem is an experience. It is a particular way of experiencing the self. It is to move toward life rather than away from it; to move toward consciousness rather than away from it; to treat facts with respect rather than denial; and to operate self-responsibly rather than the opposite."
He defined self-esteem as "being competent to cope with the challenges of life and of being worthy of happiness. It is confidence in our ability to learn, make appropriate choices and decisions, and respond effectively to change. It is the experience that success, achievement, fulfillment, and happiness are right and natural for us. It is a consciousness to trust our self. It strives for rationality, coherence, clarity, and truth."
He defined six practices of a healthy self-esteem:
1) Living consciously: Respect for facts, open to new knowledge and feedback, and seeking to understand the world and ourselves.
2) Self-acceptance: Realism applied to self. The willingness to own, experience, and take responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, and actions, without evasion, denial, or disowning.
3) Self-responsibility: Realizing that we are the author of our choices and actions; that each one of us is responsible for life and well being and for the attainment of our goals.
4) Self-assertiveness: Being authentic in our dealings with others; treating our values and persons with decent respect in social contexts; refusing to fake the reality of who we are or what we esteem in order to avoid disapproval; the willingness to stand up for ourselves and our ideas in appropriate ways in appropriate contexts.
5) Living purposefully: Identifying our short-term and long-term goals or purposes and the actions needed to attain them.
6) Integrity: Living with congruence between what we know, what we profess, and what we do; telling the truth, honoring our commitments, exemplifying in action the values we profess to admire.
"What all these have in common is respect for reality."
What we call high self-esteem and low self-esteem, Nathaniel Branden calls self-esteem and pseudo self-esteem. He defined pseudo self-esteem as: "trying to compensate for deficiencies; a pretense at a self-confidence and self-respect; the effort to protect self-esteem with denial and evasion, which only results in a further deterioration of self-esteem."
Pseudo self-esteem can be easily identified by: "the defensiveness with which insecure people may respond when their errors are pointed out, or the extraordinary feats of avoidance and self-deception people can exhibit with regard to gross acts of non-consciousness and irresponsibility, or the foolish and pathetic ways people sometimes try to prop up their egos by the wealth or prestige of their spouse, the make of their automobile, or the fame of their dress designer, or by the exclusiveness of their golf club."
Traits of pseudo self-esteem include: delusional, ignorance, denial, evasion, betrayal of consciousness or conviction, lack of integrity, grandiosity, fantasies of superiority, conceited (exaggerated opinion of oneself,) boasting, arrogance, and the victim mentality of blaming others. What all these have in common is the lack of respect for reality. But the biggest indicator is the angry denial of low self-esteem or the denial that self-esteem is significant or desirable.
I have found the following to be true of HSE women and LSE women:
LSE women are insecure and seek validation from men.
HSE women are secure in themselves and have nothing to prove.
LSE women have a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled.
HSE women are self fulfilled.
LSE women will manipulate a man to make him meet her needs.
HSE women know exactly what they want in a man, and when they find one enjoy who he is.
LSE women are quick to obtain their man’s tokens of devotion, such as expensive gifts or immediately requiring a monogamous relationship.
HSE women are suspicious of expensive gifts early on, and do not decide that they want a relationship with the man until she gets to know him well.
LSE women would steal a man if it would give her affirmation.
HSE women are not at all interested in another woman’s man.
LSE women trade sex for attention and for verification that they are attractive and worthy.
For HSE women, sex is about sharing and celebrating sexuality.
LSE women respond to being treated poorly in an attempt to prove their worthiness.
HSE women expect to be treated well and respond only to that.
For a LSE woman, it’s not about the man, it’s about her own needs.
For a HSE woman, it’s about what her and her man enjoy together.
LSE women blame their problems on other people. They have the victim mentality.
HSE women assume personal responsibility for their own lot in life.
LSE women are motivated by moving away from bad.
HSE women are motivated by moving towards good.
LSE women must control others by manipulation.
HSE women see that as unhealthy.
LSE women are drama queens.
HSE women seek harmony.
LSE women have a warped sense of deservedness.
HSE women have a healthy sense of deservedness.
Self-esteem is formed early in life and takes years to develop. A woman’s biggest influence in her developing years are her parents, and it is her father that has the most important influence. It is through him that she acquires the ability, or lack of ability, to have an emotionally healthy relationship with men.
A woman who had a close relationship with her father when she was a little girl is what I call a ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Her father was loving and caring. He believed in her and supported her. He taught her to be self reliant, independent, and to believe in herself. He may have even taught her how to throw a baseball or throw a punch. She thus grew up with a high self-esteem, a healthy relationship with men, and a good sense of deservedness. She is thus emotionally healthy and believes that she deserves to be treated well by men. Interestingly, she is also very skilled at influencing men and making a man feel emotionally close to her.
Her relationship with her father goes through stages. As a little girl, she loves him dearly and looks up to him. When the taboo instinct sets in at about age 14, she becomes independent from him and sees him as the biggest dork in the world. By the time she matures into the age of legal adult, she again adores him and cares about him dearly. But at any age, she always wants him to see her as innocent and pure, and she wants him to continue to be proud of her.
This is in contrast to another woman who had a condescending or absent father. Such a woman is incapable of forming a deep emotional bond with a man. She has a bottomless pit of emotional need that can never be filled. She believes that she deserves to be treated poorly by men, though she expects being showered with attention and material gifts. She is often spotted in the company of men that view women as objects.
Her relationship with her mother is also important. I have known daddy’s girls who had mothers that were total emotional basket cases and made very bad decisions for themselves. In those cases, the young women tend to make bad decisions for themselves. To a large extent, women tend to repeat the same successes or failures of their mothers. Such daddy’s girls display some of the typical traits of a daddy’s girl, but they make mistakes such as having no direction in life. The very best women are those who had two
good parents in a good relationship.
A Daddy’s Girl has a good sense of deservedness. Deservedness is what a woman believes she deserves for herself. She believes that she deserves to experience wonderful pleasure, and she believes that she deserves you. She will be your best ally. She will be routing for you.
The opposite is a bad sense of deservedness. (Note: everybody has A sense of deservedness.) An example of a bad sense of deservedness is a woman who stays with a controlling or abusive man. Therefore, one of the quickest ways to obtain much information about a woman is to note the men she
associates with. If the woman does not have a good sense of deservedness, you will be forever frustrated, your energy will be constantly drained, and the relationship is doomed. She cannot appreciate a good man when she’s got one. She will sabotage the relationship and eventually leave for some scum that she believes she deserves. If you aren’t a psychiatrist or a therapist, there’s not much you can do about it. And even then, it’s usually futile.
So, how do you specifically interview for high self-esteem? Don’t just ask her if she has high self-esteem. The low self-esteem women will insist that they do, and the high self-esteem women sometimes are modest about it. Instead, covertly look for the traits of high self-esteem. The first sign is if she has a hearty firm handshake and good eye contact. The most trustworthy sign of self-esteem is if she can take a compliment
well. But don’t ask her if she can take a compliment well, because all women will say they do. Instead, somewhere in the conversation, I will pay her a compliment and see how she responds. If she belittles the
compliment or down plays it, I know she has a low self-esteem. The compliment will tend to break rapport, as it should. But if she takes the compliment well, such as responding with a genuine "Thank you!" then it may be possible that she has a good self-esteem. The compliment will tend to increase rapport, which is what I want.
I will also get conversation to where we talk about past relationships. This gives me a very good idea about her sense of deservedness. I will listen for signs of how she was treated by her men. That describes how
she will be most comfortable. If she complains about how her men mistreated her, it is a very bad sign. But if all her men were very interested in her pleasure, then that is a very good sign. They are the women who will most appreciate, and best respond to me.
Then I will test for ‘Daddy’s Girl.’ Eventually in the conversation, I will say "You know, I bet that when you were a little girl, about 7, you had a very close relationship with your father." If she didn’t, it will tend
to break rapport, as it should. But if she did, then it always servers to increase rapport in a massive way. Usually she will ask why I say that, and I will go into my ‘Daddy’s girl’ theory. The Daddy’s Girls always love it. But the ones who were not Daddy’s Girls will go into a long illogical discourse attempting to explain why they nonetheless have a high self esteem.
There is a very simple formula for dealing with Daddy’s Girls: Do all the things her daddy did to her, plus all those things her daddy dreaded a man like you would do to her.
David Shade
http://www.davidshade.com
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You can now order your Spirit Halloween costume on Uber Eats
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Uber is cashing in on spooky season.
The ridehailing company will now deliver costumes, makeup, and even decorations from Spirit Halloween, the largest Halloween retailer in North America, Uber announced in a press release Friday.
Big-box retailers are getting into Halloween earlier and earlier, suggesting American consumers continue spending on the October holiday even as they pull back from other discretionary purchases.
Customers in the US and Canada can buy their Chipotle burrito costume for the same price as in store, but without having to visit the seasonal Halloween store that pops up in abandoned storefronts every year, Uber said. Of course, there will still be the fees associated with Uber Eats delivery.
Spirit Halloween has 1,525 locations.
“The holiday season officially kicks off this time of year, and households across the country are looking to on-demand delivery to get what’s needed—now,” said Beryl Sanders, director of US grocery and retail partnerships at Uber, in a statement.
Since the pandemic, different types of retailers have partnered with Uber to deliver their goods – such as Olive Garden for its breadsticks and pasta. Uber Eats has also partnered with Big Lots, Lowe’s, Michael’s and Party City for on-demand delivery.
Uber and its competitors have also experimented with robot deliveries, though those have not fully taken off in the US market.
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7 simple secrets to eating the Mediterranean way
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What if “diet” wasn’t a dirty word?
During Suzy Karadsheh’s childhood in Port Said, Egypt, diet culture was nonexistent.
“My parents emphasized joy at the table, rather than anything else,” Karadsheh said. “I grew up with Mediterranean lifestyle principles that celebrate eating with the seasons, eating mostly whole foods and above all else, sharing.”
But when Karadsheh moved to the United States at age 16, she witnessed people doing detoxes or restricting certain food groups or ingredients. Surrounded by that narrative and an abundance of new foods in her college dining hall, she says she “gained the freshman 31 instead of the freshman 15.” When she returned home to Egypt that summer, “I eased back into eating the Mediterranean food that I grew up with. During the span of about two months, I shed all of that weight without thinking I was ever on a diet.”
To help invite joy back to the table for others — and to keep her family’s culinary heritage alive for her two daughters (now 14 and 22) — Atlanta-based Karadsheh launched The Mediterranean Dish food blog 10 years ago. Quickly, her table started getting filled with more than just her friends and family.
“I started receiving emails from folks whose doctors had prescribed the Mediterranean diet and were seeking approachable recipes,” Karadsheh said. The plant-based eating lifestyle, often rated the world’s best diet, can reduce the risk for diabetes, high cholesterol, dementia, memory loss and depression, according to research. What’s more, the meal plan has been linked to stronger bones, a healthier heart and longer life.
Preparing meals the Mediterranean way, according to Karadsheh, can help you “eat well and live joyfully. To us, ‘diet’ doesn’t mean a list of ‘eat this’ and ‘don’t eat that.’” Instead of omission, Karadsheh focuses on abundance, asking herself, “what can I add to my life through this way of living? More whole foods, vegetables, grains, legumes? Naturally, when you add these good-for-you ingredients, you eat less of what’s not as health-promoting,” she told CNN.
7 simple secrets to eating the Mediterranean way
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What if “diet” wasn’t a dirty word?
During Suzy Karadsheh’s childhood in Port Said, Egypt, diet culture was nonexistent.
“My parents emphasized joy at the table, rather than anything else,” Karadsheh said. “I grew up with Mediterranean lifestyle principles that celebrate eating with the seasons, eating mostly whole foods and above all else, sharing.”
But when Karadsheh moved to the United States at age 16, she witnessed people doing detoxes or restricting certain food groups or ingredients. Surrounded by that narrative and an abundance of new foods in her college dining hall, she says she “gained the freshman 31 instead of the freshman 15.” When she returned home to Egypt that summer, “I eased back into eating the Mediterranean food that I grew up with. During the span of about two months, I shed all of that weight without thinking I was ever on a diet.”
To help invite joy back to the table for others — and to keep her family’s culinary heritage alive for her two daughters (now 14 and 22) — Atlanta-based Karadsheh launched The Mediterranean Dish food blog 10 years ago. Quickly, her table started getting filled with more than just her friends and family.
“I started receiving emails from folks whose doctors had prescribed the Mediterranean diet and were seeking approachable recipes,” Karadsheh said. The plant-based eating lifestyle, often rated the world’s best diet, can reduce the risk for diabetes, high cholesterol, dementia, memory loss and depression, according to research. What’s more, the meal plan has been linked to stronger bones, a healthier heart and longer life.
Preparing meals the Mediterranean way, according to Karadsheh, can help you “eat well and live joyfully. To us, ‘diet’ doesn’t mean a list of ‘eat this’ and ‘don’t eat that.’” Instead of omission, Karadsheh focuses on abundance, asking herself, “what can I add to my life through this way of living? More whole foods, vegetables, grains, legumes? Naturally, when you add these good-for-you ingredients, you eat less of what’s not as health-promoting,” she told CNN.
Automatic takeoffs are coming for passenger jets and they’re going to redraw the map of the sky
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In late 1965, at what’s now London Heathrow airport, a commercial flight coming from Paris made history by being the first to land automatically.
The plane – A Trident 1C operated by BEA, which would later become British Airways – was equipped with a newly developed extension of the autopilot (a system to help guide the plane’s path without manual control) known as “autoland.”
Today, automatic landing systems are installed on most commercial aircraft and improve the safety of landings in difficult weather or poor visibility.
Now, nearly 60 years later, the world’s third largest aircraft manufacturer, Brazil’s Embraer, is introducing a similar technology, but for takeoffs.
Called “E2 Enhanced Take Off System,” after the family of aircraft it’s designed for, the technology would not only improve safety by reducing pilot workload, but it would also improve range and takeoff weight, allowing the planes that use it to travel farther, according to Embraer.
“The system is better than the pilots,” says Patrice London, principal performance engineer at Embraer, who has worked on the project for over a decade. ”That’s because it performs in the same way all the time. If you do 1,000 takeoffs, you will get 1,000 of exactly the same takeoff.”
Embraer, London adds, has already started flight testing, with the aim to get it approved by aviation authorities in 2025, before introducing it from select airports.
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Sea robins are fish with ‘the wings of a bird and multiple legs like a crab’
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Some types of sea robins, a peculiar bottom-dwelling ocean fish, use taste bud-covered legs to sense and dig up prey along the seafloor, according to new research.
Sea robins are so adept at rooting out prey as they walk along the ocean floor on their six leglike appendages that other fish follow them around in the hope of snagging some freshly uncovered prey themselves, said the authors of two new studies published Thursday in the journal Current Biology.
David Kingsley, coauthor of both studies, first came across the fish in the summer of 2016 after giving a seminar at the Marine Biological Laboratory in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. Kingsley is the Rudy J. and Daphne Donohue Munzer Professor in the department of developmental biology at Stanford University’s School of Medicine.
Before leaving to catch a flight, Kingsley stopped at a small public aquarium, where he spied sea robins and their delicate fins, which resemble the feathery wings of a bird, as well as leglike appendages.
“The sea robins on display completely spun my head around because they had the body of a fish, the wings of a bird, and multiple legs like a crab,” Kingsley said in an email.
“I’d never seen a fish that looked like it was made of body parts from many different types of animals.”
Kingsley and his colleagues decided to study sea robins in a lab setting, uncovering a wealth of surprises, including the differences between sea robin species and the genetics responsible for their unusual traits, such as leglike fins that have evolved so that they largely function as sensory organs.
The findings of the study team’s new research show how evolution leads to complex adaptations in specific environments, such as the ability of sea robins to be able to “taste” prey using their quickly scurrying and highly sensitive appendages.
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Название взяли независимо от того, что наша страна сейчас проводит Специальную Военную Операцию, хорошая снаряга и экипировка нужна всегда. Готовишься в бой, мобилизован, привык активно проводить время или решил подготовить тревожный чемоданчик, мы поможем тебе. Наши клиенты: фонды, медики, такие же как ты бойцы СВО и обычные неравнодушные граждане.
Самое главное, что нужно о нас знать, мы детально объясняем, что и как работает, чтобы ты сделал правильный выбор не переплачивая.
Обращаясь к нам, не удивляйся, если ты получишь честный и жесткий ответ – часто случается так, что мы знаем лучше, что именно нужно нашему гостю. Особенно это касается мобилизованных без опыта боевых действий. Здесь ты можешь полагаться на нашу экспертность.
Одна из наших основных целей предоставить тебе возможность удобной и безопасной покупки: хоть за наличку, хоть по карте, хоть по счету. Повторимся, если нужна оптовая поставка, согласуем и отгрузим. Именно от того, как ты производишь оплату, зависит цена заказа.
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What if “diet” wasn’t a dirty word?
During Suzy Karadsheh’s childhood in Port Said, Egypt, diet culture was nonexistent.
“My parents emphasized joy at the table, rather than anything else,” Karadsheh said. “I grew up with Mediterranean lifestyle principles that celebrate eating with the seasons, eating mostly whole foods and above all else, sharing.”
But when Karadsheh moved to the United States at age 16, she witnessed people doing detoxes or restricting certain food groups or ingredients. Surrounded by that narrative and an abundance of new foods in her college dining hall, she says she “gained the freshman 31 instead of the freshman 15.” When she returned home to Egypt that summer, “I eased back into eating the Mediterranean food that I grew up with. During the span of about two months, I shed all of that weight without thinking I was ever on a diet.”
To help invite joy back to the table for others — and to keep her family’s culinary heritage alive for her two daughters (now 14 and 22) — Atlanta-based Karadsheh launched The Mediterranean Dish food blog 10 years ago. Quickly, her table started getting filled with more than just her friends and family.
“I started receiving emails from folks whose doctors had prescribed the Mediterranean diet and were seeking approachable recipes,” Karadsheh said. The plant-based eating lifestyle, often rated the world’s best diet, can reduce the risk for diabetes, high cholesterol, dementia, memory loss and depression, according to research. What’s more, the meal plan has been linked to stronger bones, a healthier heart and longer life.
Preparing meals the Mediterranean way, according to Karadsheh, can help you “eat well and live joyfully. To us, ‘diet’ doesn’t mean a list of ‘eat this’ and ‘don’t eat that.’” Instead of omission, Karadsheh focuses on abundance, asking herself, “what can I add to my life through this way of living? More whole foods, vegetables, grains, legumes? Naturally, when you add these good-for-you ingredients, you eat less of what’s not as health-promoting,” she told CNN.
Sea robins are fish with ‘the wings of a bird and multiple legs like a crab’
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Some types of sea robins, a peculiar bottom-dwelling ocean fish, use taste bud-covered legs to sense and dig up prey along the seafloor, according to new research.
Sea robins are so adept at rooting out prey as they walk along the ocean floor on their six leglike appendages that other fish follow them around in the hope of snagging some freshly uncovered prey themselves, said the authors of two new studies published Thursday in the journal Current Biology.
David Kingsley, coauthor of both studies, first came across the fish in the summer of 2016 after giving a seminar at the Marine Biological Laboratory in Woods Hole, Massachusetts. Kingsley is the Rudy J. and Daphne Donohue Munzer Professor in the department of developmental biology at Stanford University’s School of Medicine.
Before leaving to catch a flight, Kingsley stopped at a small public aquarium, where he spied sea robins and their delicate fins, which resemble the feathery wings of a bird, as well as leglike appendages.
“The sea robins on display completely spun my head around because they had the body of a fish, the wings of a bird, and multiple legs like a crab,” Kingsley said in an email.
“I’d never seen a fish that looked like it was made of body parts from many different types of animals.”
Kingsley and his colleagues decided to study sea robins in a lab setting, uncovering a wealth of surprises, including the differences between sea robin species and the genetics responsible for their unusual traits, such as leglike fins that have evolved so that they largely function as sensory organs.
The findings of the study team’s new research show how evolution leads to complex adaptations in specific environments, such as the ability of sea robins to be able to “taste” prey using their quickly scurrying and highly sensitive appendages.
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Название взяли независимо от того, что наша страна сейчас проводит Специальную Военную Операцию, хорошая снаряга и экипировка нужна всегда. Готовишься в бой, мобилизован, привык активно проводить время или решил подготовить тревожный чемоданчик, мы поможем тебе. Наши клиенты: фонды, медики, такие же как ты бойцы СВО и обычные неравнодушные граждане.
Самое главное, что нужно о нас знать, мы детально объясняем, что и как работает, чтобы ты сделал правильный выбор не переплачивая.
Обращаясь к нам, не удивляйся, если ты получишь честный и жесткий ответ – часто случается так, что мы знаем лучше, что именно нужно нашему гостю. Особенно это касается мобилизованных без опыта боевых действий. Здесь ты можешь полагаться на нашу экспертность.
Одна из наших основных целей предоставить тебе возможность удобной и безопасной покупки: хоть за наличку, хоть по карте, хоть по счету. Повторимся, если нужна оптовая поставка, согласуем и отгрузим. Именно от того, как ты производишь оплату, зависит цена заказа.
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7 simple secrets to eating the Mediterranean way
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What if “diet” wasn’t a dirty word?
During Suzy Karadsheh’s childhood in Port Said, Egypt, diet culture was nonexistent.
“My parents emphasized joy at the table, rather than anything else,” Karadsheh said. “I grew up with Mediterranean lifestyle principles that celebrate eating with the seasons, eating mostly whole foods and above all else, sharing.”
But when Karadsheh moved to the United States at age 16, she witnessed people doing detoxes or restricting certain food groups or ingredients. Surrounded by that narrative and an abundance of new foods in her college dining hall, she says she “gained the freshman 31 instead of the freshman 15.” When she returned home to Egypt that summer, “I eased back into eating the Mediterranean food that I grew up with. During the span of about two months, I shed all of that weight without thinking I was ever on a diet.”
To help invite joy back to the table for others — and to keep her family’s culinary heritage alive for her two daughters (now 14 and 22) — Atlanta-based Karadsheh launched The Mediterranean Dish food blog 10 years ago. Quickly, her table started getting filled with more than just her friends and family.
“I started receiving emails from folks whose doctors had prescribed the Mediterranean diet and were seeking approachable recipes,” Karadsheh said. The plant-based eating lifestyle, often rated the world’s best diet, can reduce the risk for diabetes, high cholesterol, dementia, memory loss and depression, according to research. What’s more, the meal plan has been linked to stronger bones, a healthier heart and longer life.
Preparing meals the Mediterranean way, according to Karadsheh, can help you “eat well and live joyfully. To us, ‘diet’ doesn’t mean a list of ‘eat this’ and ‘don’t eat that.’” Instead of omission, Karadsheh focuses on abundance, asking herself, “what can I add to my life through this way of living? More whole foods, vegetables, grains, legumes? Naturally, when you add these good-for-you ingredients, you eat less of what’s not as health-promoting,” she told CNN.
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