Sexual Subcommunication, al-la Robert Green

So there’s that topic of "Sexual Subcommunication" that seems to be so elusive to us cassanova types.  But one Cassanova in particular over at the Art of Seduction Message Boards decided he wanted to talk about it further, and it caught the attention of the great Robert Green, author of the excelent book The Art of Seduction.

Cassanova writes:
I’m intrigued by and would like more information on "Sexual Subcommunications" – To me this is basically the "primal" communication that communicates directly to "sexual" levels. I’m talking about a purely "Physical" seduction.

They’ve been called "sexual cues" as well and it seems that certain actions seem to trigger automatic responses.

I have watched people who did certain things… that assumed a "sexual rapport" – with the person that they were with, and within a short time, the other person was starting to feel sexual as well.

What I’m talking about isn’t just flirting. It’s about using your actions, body, space, attitude, and touch to elicit a sexual response in the person that you’re with.

For example, I’ve been able to very quickly gain a "sexual" vibe with women by focusing on "Physical seduction". First, test touching during casual conversation on places like her arms, knees… then moving closer with my body… moving from an angled position to more of a direct position… then adjusting eye contact to focusing just on her face… and then to her eyes and nose… then testing touch by "brushing away" something from her mouth, touching her neck, feeding her food directly to her mouth, touching a necklace around her neck… looking at her lips… lowering my voice and tonality to a whisper… closing the physical gap and leaning in close…

And I could be just talking about "The Weather"!

I’ve seen it done by "natural" seducers and I’ve done some myself when I’ve been in the moment.

Any insights on this or any strategies, attitudes, tactics?

Robert Green responds in the following rather "Art of War" way…

Robert Green writes:
I will seek to restrain my annoyance when some posters seem to think a particular subject is not covered in the book when in fact it is oozing from every page. I will count to ten.

Non–verbal communication? How many chapters can I talk about that deal with that critical subject? How about every chapter dammit. Every chapter is about the nonverbal cues you send to the other. Even the chapter on language is about really the tone of your voice, the feeling you create and not the words you use. I will count to ten again.

My nonverbal cues deal with behavior and what is known in theory land as "actions at a distance." That is not flirting? Come on. You are indirect, inhabiting their mind, sending mixed (nonverbal signals), creating nonverbal temptation, paying attention to nonverbal details. Yes, every chapter. And finally, the coup de grace, Physical Lures. (O, and in Mixed Signals I believe eye contact is covered as well, and also in the Insinuation chapter, which is all about the non–verbal.) There, I deal in as particular way as I would like to the whole realm of heating a person up with physical and slightly physical cues.

Yes, my book is not really designed for the quick seduction, the 30 minute pickup in a bar. I admit that. Although there is much in the book that could be applied to such a thing. And I do not discuss studies on flirting and physical communication. And yes, seduction in my view is more psychological and muted, than just eye contact and body parts. I wrote in that way because our culture is so dominated by the need for instant fixes and for seeing everything in quick and obvious ways. I wanted to go behind the phenomenon and figure out why things happen as they do. To help spark your own thoughts, get you more involved in the process than simply ten steps to getting laid.

So, why is it that eye contact, or slight brushes of the skin, or saying one thing and doing another with your body, or altering the tone of your voice, or  infecting the other with a langorous energy (all covered in the book, by the way) have such an effect? That is what interests me and what I tried to write about.

And what does that mean, purely physical communication? No such thing even exists. Our whole notion of sexuality is intimately related to psychology. You cannot disconnect the two. Flirting with the eyes is psychological. Everything is psychological. We are not copulating animals. It goes back to the original sexual taboo, and the attempt to rein in human sexuality and its destructive aspects. That is when sex went psychological. Read the link on the website.

I suppose what got my blood to boil was the idea that nonverbal communication is not really covered in this book. If you do not see that that is covered in the book, then I failed as a writer. My rant for the week.

MEOW!  Hisssssss…

Anyway, I found the follow paragraph by Mr. Green quite interesting:

And what does that mean, purely physical communication? No such thing even exists. Our whole notion of sexuality is intimately related to psychology. You cannot disconnect the two. Flirting with the eyes is psychological. Everything is psychological. We are not copulating animals. It goes back to the original sexual taboo, and the attempt to rein in human sexuality and its destructive aspects. That is when sex went psychological.

The more I learn about this, the more this becomes apparent.  What we do as seducers is really a wierd little subset of behavioral psychology.  I’m sure many PhDs could be gained from what we do.  =)

You can read the whole thread here.