Developmental Map of PUA, a-la Tyler Durden

Tyler put up a post on the Advanced forum of mASF which I found struck quite a chord with me. This is because I think what he talks about in this post relates almost EXACTLY to what I’m going through right now. I mean, TD always has good posts. But I think this one hits home with lots of guys who are either starting out or feel they are spinning their wheels.

Anyway, the post is as follows…

Tyler Durden writes:
It is recommended that new guys learn material and
routines because they are usually unable to hold conversations with women, and by creating a consistent 40 minute set they will get experience interacting with women on cold approaches.

Without creating a set, it is unlikely that majority of newer guys will have much success, because their lack of experience will be very apparent to the girls. They will convey many social cues that will indicate this to the girls. Even for myself, I can tell a guys’ success levels within 2-3 minutes of meeting him, and the girls are even more intuitive on this topic.

So what winds up happening, is that inexperienced guys wind up going up to girls, and saying “Hi, what’s your name? Where are you from? Umm, so yeah, what are you up to?” This, combined with hundreds of little vocal inflections/pacings/projections and bodylanguage cues, will usually add up to the girl instinctually blowing the poor newbie very quickly. That’s because the newbie has no value either in subcommunicative expression, or in what he’s saying being interesting.

By using routines and high energy levels, guys learn to hold sets, and will gain experience under their belts. Because the material is field tested as being high octane, they will hold sets in spite of their poor inner game and its external bodylanguage and vocal manifestations.

Within a few weeks, they will see spuratic success (albeit mental masterbation, but this is fine so long as internally they feel good about it) and on a subconscious level their inner game will improve and this will improve things on an external level.

At this point, though they may or may not realize it, they no longer require routines or material to hold sets. Moreover, they were likely using as a crutch a very high energy level in sets in order to hold their attention. This is a common learning of newbies, that a high energy and an intense enthuasm level in sets will hold the girls’ attention.

With time, their tonality will even out and become smoother. Their projection will increase and their vocal inflections will hit spikes at the right times and they’ll come across better. Their bodylanguage will naturally take up more space, and their facial expressions will react differently to shit tests and to escalations than they did previously.

On the non-verbal level, their social intelligence will increase, and they will become sharper with their humour, and more savvy as to what constitutes something that adds energy to the interaction versus something that is a manifestation of their insecurity or neediness (which many people don’t realize is something that they subcommunicate with so much of what they say – 95%+ of people screw this up at some point during the interaction).

And as that all gets better, they will be thrown into situations where the interaction escalates, and without experience most guys will botch this sort of scenario. Game is often a sort of hyper attention. A situation where the energy level in the interaction heats up. Chemistry, passion, etc.. The sorts of things that lead to the desired end goal. For newer guys, the energy of the situation will often be a lot to handle, without the experience. They will field it improperly, because they will either fail to maintain eye contact (this happens surprisingly often during late phases and even now with top level girls I sometimes feel the social pressure getting to me), or they will stutter and be unable to slow down the tempo and smoothly gear everything down to properly phase shift. They will fall backwards in the schedule, and their internal incongruencies will come to the surface. Many will eject and rationalize that they didn’t want to anyway, to retain their satisfaction that they got further than they previously did. The window to phase shift and go sexual has closed, and will never be opened again.

But with time this will change also. Everything will become congruent, and the snowball of social success both with women and in general will begin to increase and will finally gel into something worthwhile.

This all comes from experience, and there’s nothing that I know of that will achieve this level of transformation other than experience. Intense experience, to be exact. That means enough repetition that the increase is inevitable.

Having made this kind of transformation, guys will not need to use a high energy level or even material to hold a set. It will come naturally, because they will subcommunicate higher social value.

People possess a natural tendency to gravitate towards those with high social status. We feel the energy of their presence. On a subconscious level, we know that they exert a large degree of social control, and that they have influence over our existence whether we like it or not. When in the room with even a B-Class celebrity, most people will feel a sort of nervousness, whether they like it or not. They will be likely to socialize with them regardless of how interesting they are, because they’re just curious to see how they might benefit.

These kinds of guys don’t need much to hold attention. But even without this status, the average guy can learn to subcommunicate the same things. BE the guy who holds attention.

The same vibe will be projected by guys with a wealth of field experience. That’s the reason why, as counter intuitive as it seems, its actually *possible* for a guy to improve in this area of his life. In time, they will learn to project that same kind of high social status subcommunication, and they will not need formalized material in order to hold sets. They can also chill out their game, and slow it down. Their game can become very smooth, and the sets will go just as well as when they were over the top with energy and material.

At this point, its a good idea to shift focus seeing what kind of results you can get without any formal material. This will change self-perception, because it causes the realization that “THIS IS ME, NOT MY MATERIAL, THAT INTERESTS PEOPLE”.

Having accomplished that and having become congruent with that crucial internal shift, bringing back in material is extremely useful. I have read many posts on this board claiming that material should be dropped once the newbie has gained experience, and I agree only to the extent that it should be dropped temporarily.

For example, I can hold a set no matter what. There is no way I can be blown out of set. It is just impossible at this point. I can linger around a set like a weirdo, and still open. I can open fairly often in front of huge 10 guy cockfarms who are making the set uncomfortable on dark streets after bar hours. I can open moving targets who have places to be. I can open with something stupid and random like “Tell me your name” and they will stop because my frame is strong enough that they will do it reflexively and they’ll do it because I fucking said so. Because of my field experience, I communicated it so congruently that their thought process immediately switched to “How do I do what he said right now”, instead of what it would switch to for most guys which would be “Who the fuck is this telling me what to do? Do I even want to listen? I have to go.”

That said, I also know that high octane material is extremely useful in many areas. I know that an opinion opener is an easier way to open than walking up and saying ‘hi’, because I know that it will engage everyone and provide a tested topic of conversation that the girls will have something to say about. I know that a tight story will blow open the group because its very engaging, and it will make me seem very clever and sharp witted. I know that a good extraction routine is useful because it will allow a girl who is already attracted to excuse her actions and go with me, so that she doesn’t have to feel badly in front of her friends.

I know that while not totally necessary or anything like that, that these are the paths of least resistance. These vehicles make my life easier, and keep my results very consistent.

I also know that I can intricately lace personality conveying content into my material, which on many logical levels will convince the girl to see me again once I have left and her state has died down (hence I don’t get much phone flaking, while less competent guys will claim “Phone #s are bullshit”, which always makes me laugh and scratch my head as I think back to all the great things that have happened to me in the past year as a result of the phone – if you catch my drift).

So that said, if I could go back in time a year and give myself advice on where to improve to get where I am now, here are a few things I’d say.

Focus on learning to hold sets without a high energy level. Smoothen out the delivery, and tonality. Learn to subcommunicate higher value with the most precise, fucking smooth delivery possible. It’s good to be more INTERESTING than entertaining. Learn to be flirty and sexual, and then to pull back and get them qualifying themselves to you. Learn to be both congruently indifferent, and yet be able to shift to being forward at the same time.

Learn to master vocal projection and how it corresponds to social status. Learn to talk in a way that commands attention instantly. Always be able to convey higher social status by strength of frame. When you talk, know that everyone will stop to listen to you.

Smoothen out the bodylanguage and ease in and out of sets smoothly.

Test running with pure AFC talk, to test to see if your bodylanguage and tonality has reached a point where it can hold a set without any high octane material.

Learn to be as alpha and commanding in set as possible. There is NO WAY a set cannot open. All sets will open, and almost all sets will venue change with you. They have no choice, because your frame is just stronger. Tolerate no bullshit in set, tell them exactly what to do.

Get girls qualifying themselves to you. Learn – and this is so fucking important – to get girls to the point where THEY are the ones struggling and thinking frantically about how to keep you engaged and keep you there. Learn to cross that social hook point, and learn when to shut up.

Learn to phase shift at the snap of a finger. Learn a phase shift so strong that girls will be sucked into it, because your frame is stronger and if you slow down and smoothen out, they will have to also because that’s just the way it is. Learn to excute it at the right time and when its most effective.

**And in terms of social intelligence, learn to recognize who is controlling the frame of the conversation, and to be the one controlling it at all times. I will post more on this. It is a very important topic and needs more attention. That is one of the main keys to why an average looking guy gets laid by hotties. It is so fucking subtle, but it is so important. Controlling the frame. Always preventing it from being taken from you. It’s so easy, yet so subtle that very very few guys I know understand it properly.

Much of this stuff is what avoids phone flaking. It’s strength of frame. Pure social control and power.

It’s very late at night right now, as Mystery has had a bunch of girls running around the house all night keeping me awake. I want to write more on this, but will post this as is for now and update more in the future.

I want to leave one last thought:

For guys learning this game, stop and think more about how you’re coming across. Ask yourself, “Although what I’m doing may be helping to hold the attention of the set, is it blowing me out by conveying a lower social value because I’m too high energy and not smooth and chilled back enough? Are these people a little uncomfortable and insecure and qualifying themselves around me, or are they just along for the ride that I’m giving them with my material”.

More on this later….

You can read the original thread here.

Personally, next to Mystery’s recent post on Grounding, I find this to be one of the best thing’s I’ve read in a looooong time! This post is basically a primer on the learning curve of a pick-up artist. I’m gonna have to read this thing through numerous times to get everything Tyler is talking about here. But I think he touches on some really good points.

I’ve noticed much of what Tyler is talking about here is true due to my analysis of myself and my skill level as I continue to evolve in my interactions with women. I’d be curious to hear other people’s thoughts on this developmental map as well.