Should you help your ex out in a time of need?

They find it difficult to accept there is an easy way of doing things that can drastically increase your chances with the opposite sex.

I love proving just how effective these techniques are. Now some of the theories may take time to put into practice however, there is one little lesson I love to teach which you can do RIGHT NOW!

It takes very little effort to do, and is relatively consequence free. So why not give it a try?

A while back I was sitting on the toilet staring at my phone wondering what I could do to improve my own methods… (Sorry for the graphic reference its the place where I get my best ideas)

Then I saw all the phone numbers of girls I have approached over the last 6 months scrolling past on my phone and I remembered something one of my good friends mentioned after we stopped seeing each other.

She deletes the phone numbers of people she doesn’t want to know.

She was explaining how she loves hanging out with me so much that she would stay in touch with me, but that every other guy she’s ever dated she hasn’t really wanted to keep in touch with and so she deleted his number.

Now upon further inspection by myself it turns out that many, many people do this.

So have you taken a girls number in the last 6 months only to have her stop responding to your text messages? Odds are my friend that she has deleted your number too!

This means you gain a massive advantage. You know who she is… but she can’t remember you!

With a little bit of knowledge of how attraction works you just might be able to rekindle something from the comfort of your own home.

I have experimented with different texts, and this was the set I felt had the best results to date.

This is a real text exchange between me and a girl that ignored my texts after getting her phone number in a club.

Adam: Watcha Cutie, how’s life treating you? Still Partying hard? or you getting too old for it now?

Cutie: Who is this?

Adam: Wow Forgotten already p I suppose thats how it is in media eh? I’m Adam the PR manager we met in umbaba, you said to give you a call, but I’ve been busy til now, how are you? Still partying? ;o)

Cutie: Ah Hi hun, yeah always, Im coming into town tonight x

Adam: Cool I’m heading to chinas tonight with a bunch of the girls… where are you heading?

Cutie: China too! See you there.

Cutie: Use this number in future huni… (sends me a new number)

I used to use this technique alot back in the day and its amazing how many actually start responding and really warming up to you.

So what to do with all those old Phone numbers… don’t throw them away.

Simply recycle It’s better for the environment.

AFC Adam
InstantAttractionTraining.com

For the new year I thought I’d tackle one of the first problems people experience within game and slowly move through the topics throughout the rest of 2009.

Are you afraid of approaching someone you like through a fear of rejection?

Do you get that horrible feeling in your stomach and begin to formulate 100 reasons why someone wouldn’t want to talk to you?

This is a lot more common than you would believe. There are a number of different products out there which will supposedly “fix” the fear of approaching strangers, especially ones you are attracted to. However, few of them take the time to understand why we have that fear in the first place. If you understand why you have this fear or anxiety, you can take steps to counter it. This is probably the biggest topic when it comes to understanding attraction. Well, that is to say, it is the one that most people have the biggest problem with. I constantly receive the same excuses time and time again when it comes to this subject.

1) I’m scared of approaching

2) I have a fear of rejection

3) They aren’t in the mood to be spoken to

4) She won’t think I look good enough

5) I can’t meet people in a park/cinema/night club

6) I’m not good enough for him/her

7) There’s no point, it won’t work

These are probably the most common reasons I am given as to why someone can’t approach, or the feeling that is preventing them from approaching. The fact that these are so prevalent is because they are all based on very real psychological factors to do with learning and behaviour.

Anxiety is defined by Seligman, Walker and Rosenhan (2001) as a physiological state characterized by cognitive, somatic, emotional, and behavioral components. These factors essentially make up the feelings that we experience as fear, apprehension, and worry.

There are some physical sensations that you will probably be aware of such as heart palpitations, nausea, chest pain, shortness of breath, sweaty palms, shaking and perhaps headaches. These may be common to you. Some people will disguise these by making a decision not to approach. This will relieve the sensations and instead leave a sort of “numbness” to the situation.

Sigmund Freud himself believed that these anxious feelings were created by an association between a past negative experience and the current situation. These associations are often false and not related through causality – the idea that one situation directly affects another, but through correlation – one thing “tends to affect another over repeated attempts.”

When people begin to see this correlation as a fact, it is commonly referred to as “Magical Thinking.”

There are two governing principles behind magical thinking. The first is the law of similarity which is the notion that things that resemble each other are casually connected in some way that defies scientific testing.

For example:

Here people will typically see vertical columns of squares and circles as opposed to horizontal mixed rows of squares and circles.

The second law is the law of contagion which is the belief that “things that have been in physical contact or in spatial or temporal association with other things retain a connection after they are separated.” Contagion effects have been noted to be more effective with negative associations than with positive ones. This is probably best explained by the notion of getting “bad luck” or having a bad time every time you go to a specific venue.

Freud believed that the anxiety or fear was maintained through a form operant conditioning. Essentially the feeling of anxiety is reinforced every time you are in a similar situation. You then “learn” to remove the negative feeling of anxiety by not approaching. These connections of patterns, or “magical thinking,” are common throughout all the human societies across the world. The human brain is adept at forming these patterns, though we do not have a particularly good system for distinguishing between real and perceived connections. Theoretically this is due to a simple survival tactic. If we notice rustling behind a bush it is better for us to assume it is some form of threat and begin to prep our bodies to defend ourselves rather than ignore it and risk being eaten.

Our fear or anxiety response is actually designed to help us survive in a fight or flight scenario. Believe it or not the symptoms detailed earlier are all beneficial to us in times of survival. Perspiration occurs to help cool us down, heart rate increases to improve blood circulation and muscles tighten as they are filled with oxygen in preparation for use. Unfortunately these are not particularly beneficial when we are looking for something witty to say during a conversation with someone.

In short we learn the fear through a number of negative experiences and then reinforce them by not doing anything about it. The bodies natural reaction towards a fearful situation is the feeling we associate with approach anxiety or the fear of the approach. The way to overcome this is to reverse the learning.

All of the common problems detailed above can be directly related to either “magical thinking” in the form of a false belief that failure is almost certain due to some form of connection to a previous situation that failed. Or pure fear learnt and reinforced by not approaching. These are both forms of self fulfilled prophecy i.e. Unless you actively do something to fix it they will continue to support themselves. The good news is that this problem is far from unfixable.

The bad news is that it does take time. The easiest way to fix this is to actually go out and meet new people. The problem is that when you do this, any negative experience you receive is likely to reinforce the previous attitude or fear you had before. As I’ve mentioned before one of the easiest ways to get around this is to simply meet people for the sake of meeting people.

Most of us are actually more than happy to talk to other people, especially on boring long journeys, or when waiting in a long queue. Get used to talking to absolutely everybody, male or female, young and old. This should help you generate a great deal of positive responses to your approaches and help curb some of those negative connections.

I hope this helps guys,

Adam Lyons

(AFC Adam)

The question to ask yourself is… Are you a victim of Premature Ejectulation?

What I am referring to is leaving a set prematurely because you “feel” you have been blown out.

I have witnessed a wide range of students now some of them pretty well known amongst the community who will quite happily open a set, get them hooked, and run a decent number of routines generating a great deal of IOI’s and then eject, actually saying goodbye.

A key point here is that this should not be confused with capture – recapture. Whereby you leave the set on a high note at the beginning of the night, with a time bridge stating you will probably see them around later on, and maybe they owe you a dance/drink whatever. Just so they don’t feel trapped by you early on in the night.

I am talking about having a set hooked late into the evening, and leaving the set for a number of reasons which may seem valid in your head at the time, however upon further inspection you can see that it would have made more sense to stay in set.

The common reasons I have heard are as follows:

a) Run out of things to say
b) I was about to get blown out
c) It wasn’t going anywhere
d) I don’t know why I did it

Each of these reasons are an assumption based on the ideas of the PUA in question and not the girls in set.

a) If you have run out of things to say, go quiet for a while… but stay in set. I have field tested this and it is amazing how long you can just sit there not saying anything without getting blown out. Try it yourself Catnap did a great game that illustrates this on my first ever meeting with the community where you ask a question and just freeze. The key point is that people are generally too polite to tell you to go away. So as long as when you do eventually speak you say something worth while you just look like you are enjoying the company.

b) How do you know this? if she will blow you out… let her do it. One of my natural friends once asked me if I had ever told the secret to attraction. I asked him what he meant and he said PERSISTENCE! Thinking back alot of the girls I have gone out with in the past before I got into game, I got by being persistent. Persistence can almost only ever exist with confidence. The more you persist the stronger your inner game can appear as long as you don’t get too freaky… Stalker style.

c) Again see point b above. The only way you will know is to try it out. We almost always only learn from negative experiences. The more you fail the better you become.

d) Again it is highly likely to be a reason from above, or something similar. The only exception i can think of would be a lack of attraction on your part, in which case fair enough. Why sarge a girl you don’t like.

So think about it next time you are in set, a little bit of practice and living in that uncomfortable zone and you too can put an end to Premature Ejaculation!

AFC Adam

www.attractionexplained.com

In the past few months I’ve been so busy writing articles for other companies and people that I rarely get the time to write about any of my own thoughts and ideas. I’ve always been a massive fan of the game, as I’m sure many of you out there are. The thing I’ve personally always enjoyed the most about it however, is Innovating.

When I was first discovered by the community as a whole it was based on the fact that a lot of my concepts were actually different from a lot of the current stuff out there, and they where also backed up by as many psychological studies as I could possibly find to support my arguments. Since then a lot of my ideas have been built upon and developed by the community. Over the years I’m glad to see they’re actively being used by people all across the world. Something I would never have dared dream was actually possible.

Despite all the work I’ve been doing I still haven’t stopped developing new ideas and  theories and researching into the practical explanations and studies to support these ideas.

I’ve never been one to keep my work to myself and then sell them in some high priced product, I much prefer to get them down on paper and share them with the people who will actually use them, namely those reading this very article. I’m now actively taking the time to jot down some of my new theories and revisiting the old ones in a bunch of articles I plan on releasing on this site, after Thundercat kindly gave me permission to do so.

I’m hoping these will be topics little covered in the community to date. They will all be designed to be as explanatory as possible and to be practical things you can use straight away to get results asap. I hope you enjoy reading them as much as I enjoy researching and writing them. So without further fluff here’s the first one and it’s all about logistics…

Logistics

In my opinion this is one topic that is rarely given much importance within the community and yet it is probably the number 1 factor concerning whether you achieve an F-close or not. What do we mean by Logistics? According to the Dictionary the word logistics is defined as “the planning and implementation of a complex task”. By definition alone you can observe just how fundamental this is to helping us achieve out goal after all what could be more complicated than trying to get laid with a hot chick? Damn even rocket science doesn’t compare.

In the game there are countless problems and issues that govern our ability to F-close and while we’re looking at our body language, ability to convey our personality and a bunch of other micro-calibrated features we are often guilty of overlooking the necessary details to seal the deal. Before I go on I’d like to share with you an FuR or Fuck up Report from a past student of mine who has now gone on to be an instructor. First I’d like to preface this by saying that not only does this guy have a hell of a lot of game but he is also one hell of a good looking guy, well built, highly educated and financially secure. However… forgetting logistics will you fuck you up every time.

Two wings and myself including the instructor are out at a night club, the instructor in question was gaming a pair of remarkably good looking girls. The escalation is going well so I decide to help him out a little bit by giving him some room to complete his first threesome. I grab the other wing and we head off for a bite to eat and then head back to his place to crash.

For the past few weeks all 3 of us had been sleeping in the same room in a small hotel type complex in central London. We enjoy our meal, I had duck if I remember rightly (not that it matters but I really love Duck and have missed it while being in the states) and soon after we head back to our shared room and fall asleep.

It must have been about 3am when our friend the instructor arrives with two giggling girls in tow. He hits his bed with the two girls and naturally we wake up. We all say hello before myself and the other wing proceed to try and go back to sleep. This is where the Logistics begin to come into play.

The instructor has the two girls on the bed, but it’s apparent that they aren’t comfortable with the rest of us in the room. He’s escalating and running some pretty tight game however, he isn’t getting anywhere. As he continues to push things a remarkable thing happens. The girls begin to go cold on him. Nothing too terrible you understand but their body language definitely begins to close off to him. He senses this and eventually relents from the situation allowing them to leave in the early hours of the morning.

I wait until the morning before giving him his feedback.

He wakes up wondering what went wrong. He tells me he was escalating in the same way as he normally does which always works. He decides that either his game was “off” or that he just didn’t know how to escalate a two set at once even though he’s already shared a three way kiss.

I tell him.

“logistics, they’ll fuck you up every time. You gotta take care of them logistics or else you got nothing.”

You see he was so busy escalating and concentrating on his own game that he completely failed to recognize the fact that the girls where uncomfortable having TWO OTHER BOYS IN THE ROOM!

This would have been their first threesome and understandably they didn’t want to have it with two other boys watching them. Now this isn’t too say that it isn’t possible or that some girls wouldn’t be open to it, rather that these two definitely didn’t want it.

So what could he have done to fix the situation? Well he had a number of options.

First he could have taken the initiative. He could have thought ahead using his brain a little bit and preempted the situation. Knowing full well that we where all living in the same room he could have used  a little of that financial stability he’s so proud of to actually rent a hotel room. A cheap room in the centre of town would not only have made the whole thing a lot easier to organize but may have even added to the experience. The girls would have been saved along journey home late at night, and he could have mentioned something about people crashing at his. With a simple justification it becomes easy to set up the situation that would have been perfect to complete the close.

Secondly he could have reacted to the situation. Upon realizing that there was no chance that he would be able to close the girls in front of us he could have suggested that he was keeping the rest of us awake and either moved them to an after party to re warm them up or attempted to dive into a hotel at this point, (which may have been a little trickier as the buying temperature had already begun to drop).

Either way by handling the logistics better he would not have lost the situation, and as you can see the sooner he prepares for them the better.

A side affect of what happened is that by him trying to sexually escalate in a situation where it was almost impossible for him to close he actually came across as needy and was lowering his value, hence the loss of attraction.

This is just one example of how sometimes we forget the logistics in favor of concentrating on our game, where if we handled the logistics first we would probably find our game improves.

Lets take for example same night lays. Imagine entering a club and seeing a stunning hot girl. You approach and everything goes amazingly well. Her friends like you and before you know it you’re making out all over the place. Things are going well the Lay is in sight!

However, just as you’re leaving the club she asks for your number. You make a move to isolate her when she drops the bomb. She’s the designated driver amongst her group of friends and is the only one who didn’t drink alcohol. What do you do? Follow her in your car? Hardly attractive, what if she lives with her parents? get her to ditch her friends and send them home in a cab?

The point is that if you plan on the lay that night you are going to have to think of some pretty good logistics, something which you could have begun to organize earlier if you had taken the time to find out whether she was or was not the designated driver in advance.

Logistics in game pretty much comes down to planning. Lets look at that definition again; “the planning and implementation of a complex task” You can’t implement the close unless you’ve taken the time to examine all of the logistical components and planned exactly how you’re going to achieve the close. This is an integral part of the game and something all of the top players keep in mind. Remember that in order for you to actually implement something successfully you need to plan it and to plan it you need as much information regarding the situation as possible.

In summary it’s all good learning the game and putting it into practice but you have to begin planning the lay if you really want to get the best results you can possibly achieve.