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	<title>Thundercat's Seduction Lair &#187; sarging</title>
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		<title>How To Pick Up Women At The Gym Successfully</title>
		<link>http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2007/06/18/how-to-pick-up-women-at-the-gym-successfully/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2007/06/18/how-to-pick-up-women-at-the-gym-successfully/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 18 Jun 2007 20:21:06 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Thundercat</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Tips & Tricks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fitness]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[gym]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[meet women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[picking up women]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pickup]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sarge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sarging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[work out]]></category>

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<p><span id="more-49"></span></p>
<blockquote><p><strong>VenusianArtist writes:</strong><br />The gym is a gold mine<br />
for HBs! It&#8217;s full of women who take care of themselves and have high<br />
social value. Most of them are half naked, so you get a good view of<br />
their body up front. Plus, unlike nightclubs, there is actually<br />
lighting so you can see what they look like! And you are not battling<br />
beer goggles (hopefully)!!</p>
<p>A lot of PUAs stay away from sarging at the gym for a number of<br />
reasons. Common deterents, fears, and SPs I have about in previous<br />
posts on gym sarging are:</p>
<p>1. Awkwardness for the rest of your membership if it goes badly.<br />2. Pre-rejection (opposite of pre-selection) to all other HB witnesses at the gym that day.<br />3. Feeling too grose and sweaty to sarge.<br />4. Coming off as rude by interupting her workout.<br />5. Her assuming you are hitting on just by talking to her even if you are not!<br />6. Most girls wear headphones.</p>
<p>I can guarentee you, there are ways around all of these limitations.</p>
<p>There have been a number of suggestions and successful field reports<br />
here and on other boards. Definitely some good advice in previous posts<br />
and proof that sarging successfully at the gym is possible. However, I<br />
have tried just about everything with little success until recently.<br />
Over the years I have had the advantage of switching gyms every year or<br />
two, so I have been able to try some weird stuff without much<br />
akwardness endured later on. After a rough stretch, I have finally put<br />
together enough material to do well.</p>
<p>99% of guys at the gym approach by trying to show the HB how to do<br />
an exercise or change their form. The advantage to this approach is<br />
teaching is a DHV in itself, so immediately you are demonstrating<br />
value. This works for certain HBs, especially girls that are new to<br />
weight training. It has worked a few times for me, but it does little<br />
to set me apart from the AFCs and it definitely does not work for HBs<br />
that actually know their way around the gym. </p>
<p>My way around that is to understand and acknowledge that she gets<br />
approached by meat-heads all the time. Show her that you understand her<br />
perspective by saying: &#8216;Hey the last thing I want to be like is one of<br />
those guys trying to pick up girls by showing them how to do an<br />
exercise, but let me show you something my friend showed me to make<br />
that exercise a little more effective.&#8217; Another tactic is to mockingly<br />
show her an exercise as if you are making fun of the guys that do that.<br />
Take an overly macho pose and use a fake-sounding low voice so she<br />
knows that you are not being serious. After showing her the exercise,<br />
say something like &#8216;So is there where I go for the phone number?&#8217; Then<br />
crack a smile. That opens up for questions like: &#8216;So how often does<br />
that happen to you?&#8217; OR &#8216;What is the weakest line a guy has used on you<br />
in the gym?&#8217;</p>
<p>With fit girls, who are my normal targets, I have had the most<br />
success taking the exact opposite approach to teaching her. It&#8217;s so<br />
simple and works almost every time. There are limitations, but this<br />
technique has been the best of all I have tried. I ask HER to teach ME<br />
something. You may think it is AFC or whatever, but this has the same<br />
effect as an opinion opener. I start by rooting the opener to show her<br />
that I know about the subject and I am just looking for her to teach me<br />
something new. This is field-tested and works more often than not for<br />
me. As long as you keep a strong frame and body language, you will<br />
communicate all the right things. For example:</p>
<p>Notice a girl that is wearing varsity athletic gear or just looks<br />
like an athlete/dancer (based on her physique or the exercises she is<br />
doing). I&#8217;ve done this successfully 15-20 times now. Last month, I met<br />
a track girl and it went something like this&#8230;</p>
<p>Me: Hey are you on the track team by any chance?<br />HB: Yes.<br />Me:<br />
Awesome. Listen, I am in a rush today, so I need to finish up my<br />
workout soon. But I have been trying for the longest time to find some<br />
good plyometrics to develop my fast twitch fibres and quickness. Did<br />
your coach or trainer give you any exercises that you could show me<br />
quickly?<br />HB: Yeah for sure.</p>
<p>She went on to show the exercise. After the exercise demonstration,<br />
I will usually give a backhanded compliment or a compliment with a soft<br />
neg/release. Example:</p>
<p>Me: Wow. Fit and smart. You are like every woman&#8217;s fantasy. A jock<br />
with brains&#8230; except for the whole being a woman thing [smile]. That&#8217;s<br />
awesome. I am going to try that out for sure. I have to get back to my<br />
workout. Thanks. I&#8217;ll see you around.</p>
<p>The next day I saw her, I thanked her and got her name. Usually, I<br />
tell an amusing story about the exercise(s), the progress I&#8217;ve made,<br />
and maybe some playful negs. Might ask a rapport-building question or<br />
two. Example:</p>
<p>Me: Hey, I tried that exercise you showed me the other day. It hurt<br />
like hell the next day and I have gotten zero results so far. Are you<br />
sure you are on the track team?<br />HB (laughing): Yes.<br />Me: I&#8217;m only kidding. It&#8217;s actually a cool exercise. You know what I discovered? Have you ever tried it like this&#8230; <br />[Then<br />
I demonstrate some way of modifying the exercise to work other muscle<br />
groups. Ideally, I work in some kino by touching the body part that my<br />
modified exercise works] &#8211;&gt; NOW YOU ARE TEACHING HER!<br />NOTE to newbies: Be sure to know your stuff at the gym so the modification actually makes sense!<br />HB: No, I haven&#8217;t tried that<br />Me: You&#8217;re welcome. Figured I owed you one&#8230; sorry what&#8217;s your name?<br />HB: Kim<br />Me: Alright, Kim, have a good workout.<br />HB: Thanks. You too.</p>
<p>Ended the thread, went back to my workout and reopened later taking an interest in her this time:</p>
<p>Me: So what are your events?<br />HB: 200 and 400 meters.<br />Me: Wow.<br />
I ran those a bit in high school. It always amazed me how long 400<br />
meters felt, especially after running 100s or 200s. It literally felt<br />
like the race was never going to end! I&#8217;ve gotta give you some props<br />
for that. [fist pump]<br />HB: Yeah, it&#8217;s a tough event for sure.<br />NOTE: I am friends with and have gamed enough track athletes that I know a bit about this sport, and that definitely helps!<br />Me: Hey, did you hear about that amputee sprinter from South Africa that is trying to qualify for the regular olympics?<br />HB: No<br />Me: He&#8217;s amazing. He&#8217;s running a 10.9 100!&#8230; etc<br />NOTE:<br />
True story and very interesting. If possible, mention a cool story<br />
that&#8217;s in the news about her sport. Very nice touch for adding some<br />
rapport.</p>
<p>Nice compliment/disqualifier to use: <br />&#8216;You seem like you have a<br />
lot going for you. If I wasn&#8217;t so against meeting women at the gym, I<br />
have probably asked for your number by now.&#8217;</p>
<p>The next few approaches I will normally mix up casual &#8216;hello&#8217;s with<br />
a bit of DHVs, rapport, and qualifying. I also chat other HBs regularly<br />
at the gym for some preselection effect. Usually, after 15 to 30 min of<br />
total elasped sarging, I will get a day 2 or number close.</p>
<p>Same technique works for:</p>
<p>1. Dancers -&gt; ask about good stretches for your back or something<br />2. Runners -&gt; ask about interval training, or time goal vs. distance goal training <br />3. Just about any other athletic girl. Just think of a type of training that they do that you might be interested in learning. </p>
<p>If you are not sure what she is training for, just make a guess. If<br />
you are wrong, just tell her that she really looks serious about her<br />
fitness and ask her something about her program anyways.</p>
<p>Other types of gym openers that work:</p>
<p>1. Compliments (eg., This is going to break my rule of not meeting<br />
women at the gym, but I could not help but notice you. I am completely<br />
captivated by you and I just had to ask if you were blessed with<br />
amazing fitness genes or if you worked really hard to look as good as<br />
you do.)<br />2. Funny statements/questions (eg., Anchorman quote: &#8217;1001,<br />
1002, 1003. Oh it burns! It&#8217;s a deep burn. So deep. Oh I can bearly<br />
lift my right arm cuz I did so many. I don&#8217;t know if you heard me<br />
counting. I did over a thousand. Tuesdays arms and back. You have your<br />
ubulous muscle, which attaches to your upper dorsimus. It&#8217;s boring but<br />
it&#8217;s my life.&#8217;)<br />3. Ambiguous statments (like backhanded compliments)<br />4. Questions (eg., asking to work in on a machine)<br />5. Giving advice (see above)<br />6. Asking advice/opinion (see above)<br />7. Role-playing and games (eg., Asking girls on treadmills: &#8216;Hey, wanna race?&#8217;. Credit: FratGuy 03/11/07)<br />8.<br />
Quick hook and introduction (eg., Point to a sweat spot on a machine<br />
and say &#8216;Wow, I can&#8217;t believe there are still people that don&#8217;t clean<br />
the machine after using it.&#8217; Then clean it and say: &#8216;You know I don&#8217;t<br />
think I have met you yet. What&#8217;s your name?&#8217;)<br />9. Joking insults/teasing (eg., telling a REALLY fit girl she needs to work harder)<br />10. Offering AI&#8217;s (eg., &#8216;That&#8217;s a good colour for you.&#8217; &#8211; refering to her shirt)</p>
<p>Tips for girls with headphones:</p>
<p>- tap her and open normally or ask:<br />PUA: Hey, do those headphones work?<br />HB: Yeah, why?<br />PUA:<br />
No I mean do they keep guys from talking to you in the gym? Because a<br />
lot of women have been hitting on me lately, I think I might have to<br />
try those out.<br />(credit: Antman)</p>
<p>Advice for reframing your beliefs for gym sarges or any potentially awkward situation (credit: Mike)</p>
<p>In situations like this that involve a potentially awkward approach, think to yourself:<br />1. Will she think this is awkward? Yes.<br />2. Will this awkwardness cause her to feel nervous and maybe a bit intimidated? Yes.<br />3. Is her being in a position of nervousness a situation I can capitalize on? Yes.</p>
<p>Guidelines of sarging at the gym:</p>
<p>1. Smell your best. Don&#8217;t be stinky. Seems simple enough, but how<br />
often have you seen a dude at the gym that smells like a moldy<br />
jockstrap? It&#8217;s because he can&#8217;t smell himself! Neither can you. No one<br />
can! So double check every now and then.<br />2. Look your best. Don&#8217;t<br />
wear wife-beater tank tops&#8230; especially if they have stains! Wearing<br />
colour-coordinated gear helps DHV on its own.<br />3. Wait for right<br />
time. Don&#8217;t sarge a woman in the middle of an exercise or while she is<br />
being instructed by a personal trainer. The best situations are<br />
stretching, on way out, on treadmills, in between sets, or by the water<br />
fountain.<br />4. Be social with everyone around the gym. Make friends<br />
with women, men, and staff. This provides some pre-selection and<br />
demonstrates that it is normal for you to talk to people. Open guys by<br />
asking for a spot, ask about an exercise, joke about the weight he&#8217;s<br />
using when he is lifting a huge amount &#8216;light day, huh?&#8217;&#8230; give him a<br />
head nod or say &#8216;what&#8217;s up?&#8217; next time you see him. <br />5. The basic<br />
principles of the approaching apply to gym approaches (smile,<br />
non-direct angle of shoulders, body rocking, false time constraint, etc)<br />6.<br />
Make the false time constraint a point of emphasis. Be sure to tell her<br />
you are in rush to back to your workout. Wearing a stopwatch around<br />
your neck and glacing at it during the convo is a great non-verbal<br />
time-constraint. It&#8217;s also great for timing your rest in between sets.<br />
(Credit: rockdon)<br />7. Use some kino in your routines, but avoid<br />
touching with body parts that are overly sweaty, like your palms. Fist<br />
pumps and touching over the clothing (rather than skin to skin) work<br />
well.<br />8. Do the sarge in pieces. Open and approach on day 1 to gain<br />
familiarity. Focus on boosting value and rapport in small doses each<br />
day after that.</p>
<p>That&#8217;s it. Enjoy!</p>
</blockquote>
<p>Good stuff.&nbsp; Next time I&#8217;m at the gym, I&#8217;ll have to apply a few of these principles.</p>
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		</item>
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		<title>D.C. Folley &#8212; What NOT To Do While Sarging</title>
		<link>http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2004/02/04/dc-folley-what-not-to-do-while-sarging/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2004/02/04/dc-folley-what-not-to-do-while-sarging/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Feb 2004 18:36:42 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Thundercat</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Rants & Reviews]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[dc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Field Report]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sarging]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/24/03 Okay, now I remember why I hate D.C.  Its not just the fact that I don&#8217;t have a car, or the fact that my parents plan my days for me like I&#8217;m a fuckin&#8217; first grader, rather, it&#8217;s that it is very hard to sarge here. D.C.&#160;&#160;<a href="http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2004/02/04/dc-folley-what-not-to-do-while-sarging/">Read More Of This Article...</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/24/03</p>
<p>Okay, now I remember why I hate D.C.  Its not just the fact that I don&#8217;t have a car, or the fact that my parents plan my days for me like I&#8217;m a fuckin&#8217; first grader, rather, it&#8217;s that it is very hard to sarge here.</p>
<p>D.C. has some of the worst traffic in the world, I swear to god.  I get to places FASTER in LA, and the traffic there is terrible too.  But at least we got 5 LANES of terrible traffic as opposed to 2 or often times 1, in D.C.&#8217;s case.  I tell you, I must be spoiled, because the quality of women in this town isn&#8217;t exactly what I&#8217;d call &#8220;prime.&#8221;  Of course, I am used to LA quality chicks, which are usually the best and hottest from all over the world.  But even I expected better women in D.C.  There was a post on the D.C. list a while back discussing whether there were any pretty women in this town, and I gotta say, I&#8217;m inclined to say NO! (If there are good ones here, they must be hiding).  Now I see why ol&#8217; Bill went for Monica.  On the D.C. scale, that bitch is a fuckin&#8217; 10.</p>
<p>So I wake up at 3:00 in the fuckin&#8217; afternoon out here.  Keep in mind, my schedule is still on LA time, which is 3 hours early, so it&#8217;d be a ripe old noon in my home town.  However, I wanted to go out Christmas shopping today, so it was necessary to wake up early and beat the crowd.  I ask my dad to wake me up so I can get ready and have enough time to shop.  Of course, my dad&#8217;s idea of waking people up is flipping the light switch on and off.  He tried to wake me up twice with this tactic, however MY EYES WERE FUCKING SHUT! So of course, I was oblivious to the wake-up call.</p>
<p>Anyway, I get up and get ready to go out, so by the time I&#8217;m set, its time to go to dinner.  My family has a tradition about going out to eat on the 23rd of every December, so we go to a Steakhouse.  While there, the ONLY woman other than my mother is some warpig waitress that the drunken Mexican landscapers that descended upon this establishment are going after like she&#8217;s the only woman they&#8217;ve seen since jumping out of the van.  Of course, she&#8217;s loving it, but I&#8217;m forced to sit and talk to my family for lack of better targets (I&#8217;m still trying to come up with a decent system for restaurant sarging.  If anyone has any good tactics, please post them here).</p>
<p>After dinner, me and my brothers go out to the Pentagon City Mall to do our typical last minute shopping.  While there, we spilt up and go our separate ways, which is great because I finally get the chance to do some sarging.  However, its not meant to be.</p>
<p>About 80% of the women I run into are either fat, black, or a combination of the two.  Now, I have nothing against black chicks, but I just don&#8217;t go for them.  Same with fat chicks.  The women I do find that are worth sarging are of an average age of 15.  FIFTEEN!!!!  I feel like the biggest fucking perv in the world after I open a girl and her mother comes up to remind her that she can&#8217;t choose too many presents because she&#8217;s getting a car for her 16th birthday.</p>
<p>So I go about my shopping feeling like a dirty old man at the ripe ol&#8217; age of 25.  It reminds me of why I prefer bars and clubs, at least there you know you&#8217;re in the ballpark.  And I start thinking about what I&#8217;d do if I WAS successful and picking a girl up.  My little brother drove me here.  I&#8217;m staying at my parent&#8217;s house.  I have no money.  The whole situation just does not bode well.</p>
<p>So I spend about $300 on gifts and go home pissed that its another night of my vacation wasted.  I was also informed that we&#8217;re visiting my grandparents for three days after Christmas, and even though it will be nice to see them, I am screaming on the inside because of the simple fact I am in LIMBO LAND!  Sure, there&#8217;s not stress or worries, but there is also no fun either.  Ugg!</p>
<p>I better get some good gifts this year, or I might end up killing somebody.</p>
<p>Thundercat</p>
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		<title>Stuart Smiley was Full of Shit</title>
		<link>http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2004/02/04/stuart-smiley-was-full-of-shit/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2004/02/04/stuart-smiley-was-full-of-shit/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Feb 2004 18:32:25 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Thundercat</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Analysis]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[affirmations]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[discovery channel]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[insecurity]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[masf]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pattern]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[rant]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ross jeffries]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sarging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[speed seduction]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[stuart smiley]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/22/03 I want to talk about something that has been a part of the seduction community since Ross Jeffries recorded two little cassette tapes in someone&#8217;s garage back in &#8217;97. Its something that is an evil, dirty, foul little beast which in my opinion has no business being&#160;&#160;<a href="http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2004/02/04/stuart-smiley-was-full-of-shit/">Read More Of This Article...</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/22/03</p>
<p>I want to talk about something that has been a part of the seduction community since Ross Jeffries recorded two little cassette tapes in someone&#8217;s garage back in &#8217;97.  Its something that is an evil, dirty, foul little beast which in my opinion has no business being ANYWHERE near the people who are actually trying to get good at this stuff.  So what am I speaking of?  Simple.  I am speaking of:</p>
<p>Affirmations.</p>
<p>The reason I speak of this is because there is a topic on <a href="http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/" target="_blank">mASF</a> that caught my eye.  Here it is:</p>
<blockquote><p>Topic: Affirmations (1 of 8), Read 343 times<br />
Conf: &gt;&gt; General<br />
From: 7<br />
Date: Sunday, December 21, 2003 08:35 AM</p>
<p>I have a few questions about affirmations.</p>
<p>Do you use them and do they work for you?</p>
<p>When do you say them and for how long?</p>
<p>I have noticed that they stop working if I stop using them so do I have to keep doing them constantly or will the changes ever become permanent?</p>
<p>Someone suggested recording the affirmations to cd or cassette. Anyone noticed if listening to them has the same effect as saying them?</p>
<p>Would subliminal recordings be more effective? Anyone here know how to make subliminals?</p>
<p>Here is something for you to test. Last night I tried a new affirmation and I got approached twice. That rarely ever happens so it must have been the affirmation.</p>
<p>Here is the affirmation:</p>
<p>&#8220;All women get horny when they see me&#8221;</p></blockquote>
<p>You can find the whole thread at:</p>
<p>http://www.fastseduction.com/discussion/read?120655,8</p>
<p>But the reason I bring this up is because I believe that <strong>AFFIRMATIONS DO NOT WORK!!!!!</strong></p>
<p>Period.  End of story.</p>
<p>The days of Stuart Smiley looking into the mirror chanting &#8220;I&#8217;m good enough, I&#8217;m smart enough, and dog gonnit, people like me!&#8221; are over.  In fact, I&#8217;d argue they were never really here to begin with.</p>
<p>Affirmations are for insecure people who desperately want any way to validate themselves, to the point where they will start trying to brainwash themselves into believing their insecurities do not exist.  This is bullshit.  There is no way to get past such insecurities unless you face them honestly and work to find their root cause.  Not until you do that will these insecurities go away.</p>
<p>How do I know this?  Because I&#8217;ve been there.  I&#8217;ve done the affirmations, and I can tell you beyond a shadow of a doubt THEY DO NOT WORK.</p>
<p>I can remember back when I was a full fledged member of the Speed-Seduction cult when I was in college, I went ahead and bought the &#8220;Unstoppable Confidence&#8221; tapes, mainly due to the recommendation of Bishop (who ended up being a con man, go figure).  I&#8217;d listen to those suckers every day.  In the morning when I got up, on my walks to class, and even at night as I was falling asleep.  I&#8217;d do the visualizations exactly as I was told.</p>
<p>Did it work?  Well, no, not really.  It didn&#8217;t make me feel any different.  I was still insecure and scared, and no more confident than I was before.  But I so WANTED them to work, that I convinced myself that they WERE working.  So I&#8217;d go out and act all confident and full of power with my 50-foot tall self ready to crush anything that steped inside my circle of power that was created with my imaginary Green Lantern ring.</p>
<p>The thing is, it was all an illusion.  Its okay to &#8220;fake it before you make it&#8221; in certain respects.  But not when it comes to confidence.  The thing about confidence is that no matter how well you fake it, something will happen to SHATTER that illusion for you, and it will affect all your actions because of that.</p>
<p>For instance, when I was doing the &#8220;Unstoppable Confidence&#8221; tapes in college, I&#8217;d start walking up to girls and sarging them, running the IC pattern, Blow-Job, Discovery Channel, etc.  Most of the time it would go well, but occasionally I&#8217;d get a girl who&#8217;d say &#8220;Why are you talking to me?&#8221; &#8220;Who are you?&#8221; &#8220;Go away!&#8221; or some combination of the three.  At that point, my &#8220;confidence&#8221; would be SHATTERED.  I&#8217;d feel like a tool, a fake, a phoney.  It ended up hurting me more than helping me BECAUSE I tried to cover up the real problem instead of facing it.</p>
<p>So to the guys out there wanting to do affirmations, I say DON&#8217;T DO IT!  They may be a short-term fix for some, but long term they do not work!  I would recommend that you take an honest look at yourself and try to determine what it is that makes you feel unconfidant, sad, unhappy, scared, whatever.  Take a good hard look and figure out what&#8217;s causing it, and then FACE THAT.  Do not hide from it.</p>
<p>The goal of all Pick-Up Artists or Seducers should be to become a single, congruent entity, and you cannot do that if you&#8217;re sweeping your problems under the rug.  You gotta face them.  Period.</p>
<p>/end rant</p>
<p>Thundercat</p>
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		<title>The Social Circle of Life</title>
		<link>http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2004/02/04/the-social-circle-of-life/</link>
		<comments>http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2004/02/04/the-social-circle-of-life/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 04 Feb 2004 17:13:09 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>Thundercat</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[Articles]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[Tips & Tricks]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[afc]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[approaching]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[cold approaches]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[friends]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[get laid]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[one night stand]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pick up artist]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[pua]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[relationship]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sarge]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[sarging]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[social circle]]></category>

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		<description><![CDATA[**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/16/03 Okay all you AFCs, Here is a copy of my most recent article from Cliff&#8217;s List on Social Circles. Aside from the gay title, I think its pretty good. I&#8217;m still looking for my article on walk-ups. When I find that, I&#8217;ll post it. Ho! Thundercat ******************************************************&#160;&#160;<a href="http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/2004/02/04/the-social-circle-of-life/">Read More Of This Article...</a>]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>**Reposted from the first Lair, original date: 12/16/03</p>
<p>Okay all you AFCs,</p>
<p>Here is a copy of my most recent article from Cliff&#8217;s List on Social Circles.  Aside from the gay title, I think its pretty good.  I&#8217;m still looking for my article on walk-ups.  When I find that, I&#8217;ll post it.</p>
<p>Ho!</p>
<p>Thundercat</p>
<p>******************************************************</p>
<p>The Social Circle Of Life<br />
How to Create the Best Possible Environment for Getting Laid<br />
An Essay by Tundercat</p>
<p>I&#8217;ll be the first to admit it.  I&#8217;m a nerd.  I like to watch TV, go to movies, read books, play on my computer, and even partake in the occasional MMORPG.  But when I&#8217;m not waxing philosophical about who could kick who&#8217;s ass &#8212; Kirk or Han Solo &#8212; I&#8217;m out trying to pick up chicks.</p>
<p>The thing is, what I do is cold approaches.  Cold Approaches are basically approaches where you approach a woman you do not know in the hopes of attracting her so you can lay her.  Without a doubt, this is probably the hardest form of Pick-Up there is.  Why?  Well, for one thing, the Fear Factor on cold approaches is the highest.  They don&#8217;t know you, you don&#8217;t know them, and the risk of getting rejected is high.  This is one of the reasons many people cannot do cold approaches.  It is just much too scary.</p>
<p>But the reason I do them is because I currently have no better option available to me.  If I don&#8217;t cold approach a girl, I won&#8217;t meet any.  But a funny thing happens if you cold approach enough girls.  You become friends with them!</p>
<p>As strange as it sounds, it is true.  Though the average Pick-Up Artist (PUA) is not looking to make friends with the girls he approaches, odds are if they like you enough to fuck you, you will become friends.  And even if they don&#8217;t want to fuck you, the least they are willing to become is a friend because they enjoy your company enough.</p>
<p>This is a funny little side effect to approaching, and because of it, my eyes were opened to something.  It&#8217;s a dirty little secret, yet one that is so obvious I am surprised that I did not see it before.  Are you ready?  Okay, here it is:</p>
<p><strong>Most people get laid from their social circles.</strong></p>
<p>This is a fact, my friends.  Sure, cold approaching can lead to the occasional one night stand (ONS), or even a same day lay that blossoms into a relationship.  But very rarely does this happen.  In fact, it happens so rarely, that I really rate my approach success based on the quality of numbers I get.  I say quality because anyone can get a number, but a number from a girl who actually gives you her REAL number and will actually RETURN your phone call is so much more important than the quantity of numbers one receives.</p>
<p>But of all the guys I hang around with who get laid, the ones who do so with the most frequency are those with large social circles that include women in them.  For instance, I have a friend who is going to college.  He belongs to a number of groups:  Martial Arts, Role Playing, Historical Reenactment, etc.  And he gets laid.  He gets laid a LOT.  Probably more than most PUAs, and DEFINITELY more than me.  The funny thing is, this guy DOES NOT APPROACH!  In fact, he&#8217;s just as scared at approaching women as 90% of the guys reading mASF (moderate Alt Seduction Fast) are.</p>
<p>When I noticed this, I took a good look at the guys I know who are getting laid frequently, and sure enough, there was the proof.  They were all getting laid from either girls they already knew, or met through friends, family, or some type of hobby.</p>
<p>This is an incredible revelation for me because social circles have always been the primary dipping source for men I knew were getting laid.  Back in my AFC (Average Frustrated Chump) days, I&#8217;d only hang out with my guy friends, who weren&#8217;t getting laid either.  I&#8217;d do solitary activities, play on the computer, and take part in social activities that were typically heavily attended by males.  In short, my social circle did not include women, and because of that, I did not get laid.</p>
<p>As my awareness of women grows, along with my seduction skills, I am beginning to realize that being a PUA is not just about getting laid, but cultivating a social circle conducive to interacting with women ON A DAILY BASIS.</p>
<p>Most of the men I have met who are not getting laid or who are struggling to get laid are the ones whose social circles are almost completely empty of women, and the women who do encompass their social circles do not interact with them regularly.</p>
<p>A scary truth about guys not getting laid is that they are not comfortable talking to women.  Sometimes, I STILL do not feel comfortable talking to women.  And this can show in your sarging (interacting with women with the intent of laying them).  I am willing to bet that most guys who cannot talk to or approach women do not have many female friends in their social circles.  And if they do, the girls are friends they would like to fuck.  They do not know what it is like to truly be friends with a girl they do not want to sex up, and because of that, there is always a feeling of comfortableness just below the surface of their interaction with girls, which the girls can pick up on and which completely throws off the guy&#8217;s state.</p>
<p>So the trick is to expand your social circle so it becomes something that is conducive to getting you laid.</p>
<p>The fact is, a female friend is the most powerful tool you have in your seduction arsenal, especially if she is attractive.  Approaching other women with another woman who can social proof you and talk you up is probably the single most invaluable trick there is to approaching.  When you have a female with you who is actively working to HELP you get laid, chances are it will happen, and more quickly than if you were acting on your own.  Not only that, but the girl will also have friends that she will try to hook you up with if you demonstrate youв&#8217;re cool enough to be her friend.  Through these girls, you will find your comfort around women increase, along with you success rate.</p>
<p>So how do you do this?  Well, the first step is to befriend a girl.  How is this done?  Well, most AFCs (Average Frustrated Chumps) have had a lot of experience with the &#8220;Let&#8217;s Just Be Friends&#8221; area of life.  But this is not the same thing.  The fact is, with the &#8220;Let&#8217;s Just Be Friends&#8221; stigma, you are not really the girl&#8217;s friend because you still want to fuck her and she knows it.</p>
<p>The best way I know how to expand your social circle is to befriend other GUYS who are good with women.  Not the type of guys who use women and throw them away, but the type of guys who are fun and always surrounded by girls.  You befriend this guy, and he will introduce you to the girls who surround them.  You can meet these guys anywhere, and it&#8217;s much easier to approach and make friends with men because there is no sexual tension there.  You guys can connect on basic male subjects such as sports, women, business, etc.  If nothing else, you may make a new valuable male friend out of the deal.</p>
<p>You can meet these guys anywhere you go, be it a club, bar, museum, concert, etc.  It doesn&#8217;t matter.  You will meet them doing stuff you like to do.  Most guys will go for the girls right away, but if you befriend the guy who is IN with the girls, he will help you to get them.</p>
<p>Once in with the guys, its time to move onto the girls.  Have him introduce you.  Tell the girls how good of a friend he is.  Show them that you&#8217;re a cool guy.  Become their friends.  The cooler the guy you befriend, the hotter the women he knows.  The hotter the women he knows, the better quality of women they will introduce you to.</p>
<p>The next step will take a bit of willpower on your part, but you want to actually BEFRIEND the girl with the knowledge that you are not going to sleep with her.  No matter how hot she is, you must take her out of the &#8220;I wanna FUCK!&#8221; category.  This is crucial because if you go after her for the full monty (fuck), you could screw up the friendship.</p>
<p>But once she&#8217;s your friend, you can practice on her.  Talk to her, call her up and bullshit, go out with her, let her feel safe and comfortable around you.  Once she&#8217;s your buddy, get her to introduce you to her friends.  Those are the ones you game on.  This is because you&#8217;ll be at an advantage with them.  Not only will you have a girl who is their friend hyping you up, but you&#8217;ll also be social proofed by the guy you befriended, who has also probably met the girl you&#8217;re being introduced to.  Right there is instant social proof that you&#8217;re cool enough to hang with them.  Then its time to game the girl, which should be easier than cold approaching because the meeting is inherent.</p>
<p>But when it comes to cold approaching, the women you befriend become even more powerful.  This is where the real fun can happen.  You can use your female friends to approach other groups of people.  You can introduce her to the men while she does the same for you with the women.  Not only that, its natural social proof when you&#8217;re with a girl, and you feel more comfortable talking to women, which makes you more attractive.</p>
<p>In fact, this is so powerful that I know PUAs who&#8217;s entire game is based on Social Circles.  A woman you use to help you get laid is often referred to as a &#8220;Pivot&#8221; or a &#8220;Pawn.&#8221;  They are used as pieces on a chessboard to break down defenses and open doorways to score checkmate.   One guy I know is SO effective with the girls in his social circle, that if there is a guy trying to get with a female friend of his, he will actually get the guy to pull him other chicks before he social proofs the guy with his friend.  This is another great tactic, especially if you&#8217;re lazy about approaching.  In this situation, not only are his pivots pulling other girls for him, but the guys after his pivots are as well.  And in the end, all you&#8217;re getting is a bigger social circle which will make it easier to get laid.</p>
<p>It is very easy to befriend women, because when you make it clear you do not want to have sex with them, they can feel safe with you and allow you to &#8220;mess up&#8221; around them in practicing your PUA skills.  Not only that, but being around women will teach you SO MUCH about pick-up, your game will rapidly increase.</p>
<p>In his book <a href="http://www.thundercatseductionlair.com/rws" target="_blank">Real World Seduction</a>, Swinggcat says &#8220;If you want to get good at picking-up women, surround yourself by five beautiful women who are good at getting guys.&#8221;  This is important, because all the best PUAs just act like really hot chicks.  They steal the chick frame that gets guys all into them and turn it around on the girls.  The more you hang out with women, the more you will begin to incorporate this mindset into your seduction repertoire.</p>
<p>So friends, I recommend you go out there and start getting to know more girls in a non-sexual way.  They will help you a great deal in adding some notches to your belt.  I hope to expand my social circle massively in the coming future, so that I may also reap the benefits of having many lady friends.</p>
<p>Thundercat</p>
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