Sinn writes:

The 5 rules for maximizing your pick up time are:

1. Set goals for your time. A lot of guys go out with the goal of “doing some approaches” or ” Working on their game” then they end up standing around by the bar “getting comfortable”. Instead you want to set a # of approaches you want to attempt in the set amount of time. Once you do that you know how much time you should have between approaches as well.

2. Approach Right away. I personally have to do a few warm up approaches in order to make the transition from anti-social to social. Most of you guys reading this are the same way. So you need to approach as soon as you get into the venue. It doesn’t have to be the girl of your dreams but you need to get used to immediately switching into “social mode.”

3. Don’t spend more than 25 minutes in a row with any one girl, unless you KNOW it’s on. This is my biggest personal sticking point as I like talking to girls and will enjoy chatting even if it’s not going anywhere. It’s a mistake. Instead you want to keep the interactions to 25 minutes or less until you have a really good sense it’s on.

4. Don’t be afraid to walk away. When it’s obviously not going anywhere, don’t be afraid to leave the interaction. Now if you’re a newer guy it may be worth it to “plow” for 10 minutes to get practice with that sort of thing but if you’re already fairly successful and it’s not working, just leave.

5. Re-approach girls you talked to briefly later on. Sometimes walking away is the only way to get the girls to change their minds about you. But at the same time it’s worth going back and talking to the girls you approached earlier later in the night as things change quickly. Same thing for short sets during the day. A lot of the time girls will like you better the second time around.

Knowing to approach quickly and when to eject from a set are two skills which will really help you to maximize your success when it comes to meeting women.  Waiting too long to approach a girl, and talking to a girl you don’t have a chance with for too long are probably the two biggest mistakes guys make when they’re first starting out.

Dastardly Fox writes:
There is a super hot blonde (hands down 10 and never uses makeup) here at my firm, we’ve had several exchanges and she acts like a school girl and gets nervous when we talk (good nervous, clearly attracted to me) and I’m looking for good ways that would let me lead this outside the office for the next stage.  One catch it’s a law firm so I need to keep the office Convo light and fun (don’t Need harassment on my resume)

Oh and I’m not worried about a workplace romance going sour, she’s extremely shy (very smart book work lawyer) im discrete and the firm is huge, so we hardly run into each other and even work on the same floor.  My boy in the kitchen tells me that I’m hot shit because the women talk about me, and I’m attractive so no issues here, its all in the delivery and reason I think. the only catch is that I’m going to have to go out of my way to initiate this, or wait till the next hall encounter… Ideas? Email, phone call, wait for our next hall chat, or walk to her office and just ask? I don’t normally date at work so this is new, but she is by far the finest woman I’ve seen since the last fine woman I saw.

Okay, so when it comes to picking up women at the office/workplace, here are some of Thundercat’s tips…

First of all, try and not present yourself as a “co-worker.”  Being a “co-worker” can scare off women from dating you.  You need to come off as being an “outsider.”  Someone who just happens to work at the same place.  So talking about stuff that doesn’t involve work is a must!

Second, organize out-of-office events that get people to hang out with you in a non-work setting.  In Fox’s case, he could organize a meeting at a nearby bar or restaurant after work, and invite the girl he likes to join him there.  And since there is a group of co-workers meeting, it doesn’t feel like a high-intensity date-type-thingie.

Third, connect with her as much as possible.  Friend her on Facebook, text her if you have her number, email with her, IM, etc.  Do anything possible to chat her up when you’re not in direct contact with her.  This allows you to do all the attraction building stuff you need to.

Fourth, get her to meet you outside the office/workplace where it’s just the two of you.  Grabbing dinner, drinks, whatever.

Finally, be prepared for any objections she may have to dating a co-worker.  Try and anticipate what problems she might have and come up with responses to them BEFORE they arise.

Most people spend like 70% of their day at work, so its natural to want to date out of the workplace.  Just be prepared to handle the consequences if things don’t turn out well!  I personally think it’s worth the risk, but just realize that if a woman isn’t interested, it’s probably not a good idea to pursue it like you would with a woman you don’t work with.

Jukebox535 writes:
I was at this house on greek row and there were literally packs of hot girls going by I tried the 2-kiss opinion opener like 10 times got shot down every time. It held their attention for like 30 seconds and thats it. Whats a better way to hold their attention then try and get them in the house.

Here’s what I know about picking up sorority girls in college…

First of all, using opinion openers on girls as they are walking by your place usually isn’t the best tactic.  Secondly, if you’re AT a frat house, why in the world are YOU doing any work to pull girls to the house?  Shouldn’t the frat be luring women in with the promise of free beer to begin with?  But I digress…

First of all, if you’re out trying to pick up girls at college, and it’s a weeknight, packs of them are roaming around going to the bars, clubs, parties, etc. – realize that you need to engage the GROUP as a whole, not just one or two of the girls.  They are in “pack” mode and walking together to a pre-determined destination.  One of them will not stop to talk to you because they entire group is moving.

So when engaging the group, don’t expect to get them to stop and chat with you.  Instead, you want to find out where the group is going.  Once you have their destination, that is where you should go if you want to try and pick them up.

A tricky thing here is that college girls won’t usually volunteer the information of where they are going.  This is a safety thing.  Sure, some might, but if you ask “Hey, where are you all going?” before you’ve properly established any kind of rapport, chances are good they won’t tell you – especially if it’s a small group of women, like two or three.  The reason?  They don’t want some guy they don’t know following them!  Duh.

It’s actually more appropriate to ask where they came from.  Something like “Hey, what party did you guys just come from?” can do the trick.  If they say “we didn’t come from a party,” then you can say something like “Well, you’re obviously going to one.  Let me guess – you’re headed to (local bar/club/frathouse/etc)?  I hear that’s where it’s at tonight.”  From there the girls will usually tell you where they are going.  Once you find this out, you can do something like “You guys should really have an escort to keep away all the annoying drunk guys from hitting on you.”  Then volunteer your services.

Also, if you’re looking to pick up sorority girls SPECIFICALLY, it helps to know what frats are affiliate with what sororities.  So try and familiarize yourself with the greek system at your school if you can, so you know where the girls like to go for parties and functions.

Lovergirl writes:
Okay, as some of you know I have 5 kids so this is a big pet peeve of mine. I absolutely HATE it when men (loudly) try to get my phone number IN FRONT OF MY CHILDREN. WTF are they thinking??? I don’t care WHO it is, what they look like, their approach or anything, if my kids are RIGHT THERE LISTENING I cannot give my phone number to you!! Good lord!!

Yesterday I was at the grocery store loading my bags into the van and this guy walks up to me and asks me for GAS MONEY (claiming he had run out…which is pretty damn lame to begin with, who wants to get with a broke ass man in the first place.. but I think that was just a way to talk to me because there were a zillion other people in the parking lot and he wasn’t bothering any of them and he went straight to trying to talk to me when I told him NO I didn’t have any money…good god!) He starts going on about how much he likes my hair and how beautiful he thinks I am, blah blah and my kids are all climbing in and sitting right where they can HEAR him. He asked for my phone number and I said no and that I have 5 kids (hint, hint, they are sitting RIGHT THERE) and so he is like “I don’t care about that!” and won’t let up!! I had to say no like 3 or 4 times and I was probably turning about 5 shades of red it was sooo embarrassing to me in front of my KIDS. Then of course I have to explain to them that Mommy does not give her phone number to random guys in parking lots! I mean, seriously, how would that make my kids feel if they were to see me do that?? THINK PEOPLE before you do something like that!

Okay, I’m done…lol It’s just that it is NOT the first time this has happened to me and I do not get what men are thinking. If you are going to talk to a woman and her kids are there at least talk quietly and take her aside where they cannot hear what you are saying. Use some common sense!

Think of the kids!  Good lord – THINK OF THE CHILDREN!!!!!!!

*Ahem*

Honestly, I got nothing against single mothers.  But sweet Jesus – 5 KIDS???  You should be thankful you’re getting approached at all, lady.  (I’m just sayin’.)

Joseph Went South writes:
I picked up a couple of bartenders in my time. I did it by being chill and not trying to “game” her like every other guy in there was doing, not capturing the obvious facts that she is making YOU feel good in exchange for MONEY.

If I got good service I would tip well, but not embarrasingly so. Just show her I really appreciate her fine ass and fine attitude and it’s all good, nothing in return is expected. I am not saying, “I appreciate this service” when not giving a fuck about the service but really trying to fuck her. IOW I mean what I say.

If a woman is attracted to you and she is socially popular with lots of guys chasing her there will come a point early on where she will test you for confidence. It can be anything: prolonged eye contact, teasing you about your drink choice or something you’re wearing, flirting with athlete chodes and tall geeks. How you react will often determine if she’ll INVITE YOU to escalate, or not.

I found bartenders who were surprised by the outcome and then realized they were having impure thoughts in connection with their good boyfriends, and went directly back to business. In many cases this still turned out ok because we became friends with mutual respect, and I could count on her to give me an assist if I brought a girl to the bar. There was one bar in Edmonton where I had several friendly female bartenders like this. Before I left, I was bringing one or two new girls there every week! So you can see the advantage of a good relationship with a female bartender, as opposed to awkwardness and bad tension.

To be clear, I am not saying a guy should take the AFC route, PRETENDING to be the girl’s friend while taking sketchy “peeks” at her hoping she won’t notice and get offended. I am saying it’s a good idea to treat the hottest woman in the club who is also the drug supplier for the whole room, with a certain level of respect. She is one of the top alpha dogs in the entire room and will always have men larger than you and in some cases, serious fighters, ready to defend her in a time of trouble.

What I mean is, just as you would never think of having a physical fight with a female bartender, don’t think of trying to tool her or fuck with her head or get one over on her, either. It won’t work and you’ll fuck up your game at that bar.

In other words, if you make her job easier, she’ll tend to make your job easier. This means you DON’T demand the attention, you do tip well for good service, but discretely, you don’t brag about yourself, you don’t let her tool you into making the guy she REALLY likes show if he is jealous of her or not. And when SHE wants to talk to you, you can engage with confidence and not take things too seriously… imagine drinking a beer and playing ball with your friends, versus pitching in the bottom of the ninth on the road in front of a hostile crowd. You want to be easy, fun and light, delighted to talk to her and not so worried if she doesn’t get back to you for an hour because she’s just that busy.

I think it’s important to note here that picking up a woman from her place of work actually requires different types of consideration than your average girl.  First of all, she’s AT WORK.  So you can’t expect to actually pull her from her place of work right away.  (Not saying it can’t happen, but it usually doesn’t.)  So your game should be going towards creating connection, and getting a “bridge” to a meeting outside of work – such as getting her phone number or facebook.

Secondly, you have to present yourself as someone OTHER than a customer.  If you’re at a bar, or a restaurant, or a nightclub, strip club, coffee shop, grocery store, WHATEVER — know that there is an “us vs. them” mentality when dealing with the women who work there.  You’re one of “them.”  You’re a “customer.”  Most women don’t like to date customers at their place of work.  So if you present yourself as someone other than a customer, then suddenly you stand out and it becomes okay to date you.

You can do this by presenting yourself as an INSIDER.  This is a great technique I’ve used to pick up strippers in strip clubs.  You come in, chat with the manager, chat with the DJ, the bouncers, get their names.  Then talk to the girl, act like you know those guys.  Talk about other strippers you’ve dated before, etc.  Suddenly, you’re not a customer, you’re a guy who knows about her world.

This can actually work in any venue – restaurant, bar, etc.  If you’re an “insider,” you can more easily bypass the “customer is hitting on me” frame most of these girls have.

Not to say ALL “hired guns” are against dating customers.  It’s just you have to realize most hired guns get hit on and flirted with a lot, so they have to put up those barriers to customers to do their jobs.  In the case of bartenders, they are happy to flirt with guys and lead them on because it usually means they get better tips.

Being a regular can also help you.  Because the more a hired gun is exposed to you, the more comfortable she’s going to be in meeting you.  But hanging around constantly is not a good idea.  Coming in regularly, touching base, firing up that connection, and leaving is usually how you should go about doing it, all building up to getting that all-important contact information.  Sure, if you really hit it off, you can ask her to meet you after work, but typically if you build up the rapport and start talking to her outside the workplace, via phone or internet, eventually you’re going to get the date if you’ve done everything right.