Dan & Jennifer have a good article up on their blog about 5 techniques you can use to banish people from your life who keep you down and spread negativity like a cancer.  Check it out…

Negative “energy vampires” are not living a life full of happiness and success, yet they will happily drag you down to their level unless you escape their clutches before it is too late!

Use these 5 basic guidelines as an outline that will help to safeguard you from negativity, and will also help you to identify negative people so that you can remove yourself from their sphere of influence.

Once you have internalized not practicing the following unsuccessful habits, you will suddenly start noticing people in your life who consistently practice them on an almost daily basis.

1. No Gossiping

It doesn’t matter how justified you think you are in talking about other people’s perceived shortcomings, doing so will never serve to bring about positive results.

When people do things that you don’t agree with or that you don’t understand, all that demonstrates is that they do not see life in the same way that you see it. It doesn’t it make them a bad person, it just means that their understanding of any given situation is different than yours.

Granted, in many circumstances it may seem painfully obvious that someone could have handled a situation in a more positive manner. However, even if that is the case, rehashing the details with other people will only perpetuate the negativity.

In addition, many people thrive on discourse and chaos, so by participating in negative discussions about others, all you are doing is indirectly giving people permission to continue adding fuel to that fire. When you are seen as a “negative fuel source,” you will invariably find that people will continue stopping by to get a fill-up!

2. No Whining or Complaining

Let me ask you this: Does whining or complaining about any given situation actually do anyone any good whatsoever?

I’m not talking about constructive criticism, learning from our mistakes, or recognizing pitfalls so that we can avoid them in the future. No, I’m talking about when a situation is already clearly less than desirable, yet you continue to talk about how undesirable it is!

When the office thermostat is broken and it is cold as a deep-freeze in your building, will anything be gained by continuing to repeat the obvious? If your spouse or significant other is being (in your opinion) unreasonable, are you going to gain anything by constantly spouting off about how upset you are about the situation?

Complaining accomplishes absolutely nothing other than drawing attention to an already less than favorable set of circumstances. If something is worth complaining about, then it is also worth taking action on. Stop whining, and start taking action, because if you don’t, all of the whiners and complainers will crowd around you in order to get their negativity fix.

3. No Co-Dependency

All of us have friends, family members, or co-workers who bring real-world negative issues to us, and ask for our input. Sometimes they are looking for advice, while other times they just want to “vent”.

In either case, however, pumping up their already negative point of view by agreeing how terrible any given situation is will only serve to cement in their minds how terrible that situation is! In addition, you will be sending them the clear signal that you are willing to be a sounding board for their complaints in the future.

Rather than rallying the forces of negativity in order to combat someone’s issues, instead just provide for them a calming, reassuring voice of reason when their lives are in turmoil. Don’t turn your back on them, but don’t fuel their point of view that they are the “victim” either.

Instead, listen with a compassionate ear while keeping your own feelings in check. You will do them much more of a service by helping them to find a positive spin on their situation rather than becoming a participant in their negativity.

4. No Cross Contamination

It is impossible to swim in a river full of muddy water, yet still be able to get out of that river without a speck of dirt on you. The only way to avoid that dirt – or that negativity – is to refuse to take a dip into that river in the first place.

From an emotional standpoint, it is not possible for you to participate in negativity, and then go back into your positive bubble without dragging some of that negativity in with you.

Most people would say that it is not possible for them to completely avoid negativity, and I would tend to agree. However, just because you are physically present in a situation does not mean that you need to actually participate on an emotional level.

You can be involved in a discussion or in the resolution of a negative situation without allowing your own emotional set point to drop down to a less-than positive level. When life throws negativity at you, stay in the game, but practice equanimity in order to handle the situation without allowing the negative vibrations to affect you on an individual level.

5. No Being “Holier than Thou”

After finding all of these great ways to recognize and avoid negativity, it becomes very easy to think that you are somehow “different” than everyone else. You start to feel “enlightened” and you recognize how a large number of the people in your life are on planes, trains, and automobiles that are all headed in the wrong direction.

Here’s a clue: get a grip on yourself! You are no better, nor any worse than any of those people. Those people are neither better, nor any worse than you.

The only difference between the “enlightened” you and the people who practice negativity is that you see things from a different point of view than they do. It is not appropriate for you to try to force your way of thinking onto those people, and in most cases it is also quite impossible.

By running around life with an attitude that you are somehow better than other people, all you will do is serve to alienate most of the people around you. Then, before you know it, other “holier than thou” individuals will start to flock to your side. Then all you will have accomplished is serving to divide your circle of influence into people who live on the “right” or the “wrong” side of the tracks – from your point of view.

Conclusion: By following guidelines similar to the methods that you just read, and by  practicing the fine art of being positive, you will begin to enjoy your life and consciously create it to be whatever it is that you want it to be.

That’s the prize.

However, be advised that these success habits are just that – habits. Only practicing them when it is convenient for you to do so will only bring about positive results in small doses. Consistency is key.

Also, be prepared to burn some bridges in the process. Right now in your life there are probably people who will fade away completely when they realize that you will not be participating in their drama anymore.

The ladder of success is never crowded at the top!

These are some good tips to keep you feeling positive and focused on positivity.  If there’s one thing I’ve learned, it’s that being positive is an incredibly attractive trait in any person, and you can’t go wrong with filling your life with good, positive habits!

Don Kanonji writes:

Constant Rejection Making You Hate Women?

I’m pretty sure this happens/happened to everyone: Guy founds the community, goes out and tries some approaches only to be rejected dozens of times in a row.Guy becomes the mysoginist of the century and thinks all girls are a bunch of useless cunts who only care about rich and famous dudes.

For me and after a few years of a fucked up life I’m trying desperately to learn how to love myself and when some random girl just looks at me like I’m some kind of freak she basically reminds me of how much I need to change everything about myself.

How the f*** I’m supposed to like me the way I am, if I need to change EVERYTHING about me ?!

Well, I’m currently trying the best I can to get rid of this disease but sometimes I wonder if I need game or professional help.

What kind of things you say to yourself in these kind of situations?

I refuse to give up, but sometimes i feel like my head is about to explode

I feel your pain, Don.  This is probably the most common thing that pops up when going out and trying to pick up girls.  I know that when I first started pick-up, I had a LOT of issues to deal with in this regard.  I mean, its easy to become resentful of women when you want them so badly, yet you feel they all will reject you.  I think that’s just human nature, to despise that which we can’t have, and therefore make it seem like we don’t want it.

But let’s face it, we all want to be loved.  We want to feel like we’re a person of value to someone else.  And if you’re dealing with inner game issues, and are insecure about who you are, those rejections you collect when you go out to practice pick-up is… well, counterproductive!

Here’s the real problem though, and its solution…

The real problem is that if you get upset by rejection, you are STILL allowing other people to define your self worth.  What I mean by this is, you feel insecure about how attractive you are, how worthy you are, etc./whatever – and you’re seeking validation of your self-worth from other people (in this case, girls you find attractive).  So when they reject you, everything bad you think about yourself gets validated!  (I’m ugly, I’m stupid, I’m a loser, etc., etc.)

This can be devastating, especially to a guy who’s trying to start learning these pick-up tactics.

The key here, is to learn to love yourself FIRST.  Be secure with who you are FIRST.  Be the source of your own validation BEFORE you start trying to meet girls.  When you have this measure of self-love, guess what?  Rejection doesn’t sting anymore.  Learning to love yourself for who and what you are is the single, most important first step to true confidence, and will help you in all aspects of life – but it will especially help you with women!  That’s why I’ve created courses like Pure Personality and other things, to teach guys how to be confident with themselves and display that confidence to others.

So if you’re dealing with bitter feelings towards women because of rejection, take a deep breath, and let that anger go.  It’s not really anger for them, its anger you’re directing towards yourself, and its unhealthy.  You need to start doing things that boost you up.  If you need to do daily affirmations, do that.  If you need to work out and let off aggression, do that.  Learn to stop focusing on the negative about yourself, and focus on the positive.  Make a list of what you like about yourself, and every time you start to beat yourself up, shift your focus to those positive aspects.  Watch a funny movie.  Do WHATEVER it takes to change your mood to something positive, and learn to be comfortable feeling good about yourself.

Once you embrace this, you’ll find you can get rejected a billion times and not be hurt by it.  But you know what?  You WON’T get rejected a billion times, because women will be attracted to your positivity – I don’t care what you look like.  People will WANT to be around you if you have a good attitude.

And when that happens, it will be so easy for you to stay positive and happy.  I guarantee it.

Triple S writes:

So I was wondering if there are places where you don’t feel comfortable sarging at? For me, it’s the subway. If you’ve never been to Montreal, our subway is old, noisy and underground. During rush hours, it’s jam-packed and everyone is squeezed in. I take it everyday to go to and come back from work. I know a bit about public transportation game from what I read here, but yet, I never feel like doing an approach. Is it because of AA? Maybe a little, but more than that, it’s just that I don’t feel the environement is adequate. I mean first of all, most of the people have headphones on. I’d guess about 95 % of people take the subway with music, in the other 5 %, 3 % are talking to someone, 1.5 % are reading a book or a paper and the other 0.5 % have nothing.

I tried an approach once and got shut down pretty quickly but that’s not what discouraged me. I sometimes wish I could, and it could definately be something that I could work on, but I just feel like it wouldn’t be a place where people like to be approached. I guess if you meet someone on the platform, that’s another story, but on the actual subway itself? I just don’t feel it, even though I wish I did because there are tons of pretty girls.

How about you? Any places like that where you just don’t feel right?

Well, to be fair, there are TONS of places you can try and pick up chicks at that will make you feel uncomfortable.  Heck, pretty much ANY place can make you feel uncomfortable if the circumstances for chatting up a girl are wrong.  But pick up is always about pushing yourself outside your “comfort zone” and going after what you want, even if you are uncomfortable doing it.

I can understand how trying to pick up a girl on a crowded subway would intimidate anyone.  But you need to tailor your pick-up to the situation.  A high-energy style pick-up on a crowded subway car probably isn’t the right method, especially considering girls on the subway are probably very wary of “wierdos.”

But whether its a subway car, a bus stop, a movie theater, a funeral, or any number of other strange venues, there is ALWAYS a way to pick up a girl.  You just have to know what is.  I happen to think that the more awkward or uncomfortable the venue, the better it is to try the indirect approach to meeting a girl rather than anything too direct.

Everything you’ll ever need to learn about women, you can learn from Rock n roll.

A very wise man once told me this and I’m sure most of my students are just as confused as I was when I first heard it, but now several years (and many women) later I can whole-heartedly agree, it’s absolutely true.

One of the by-products of committing yourself to the study of attraction and how it works is that you start noticing things that you never noticed before. A lot of us instructors refer to this as ‘seeing the matrix’ and it basically amounts to identifying and understanding the cause and effect of the most subtle communications; body language . It becomes somewhat of a sixth sense and it’s exceptionally difficult to turn off, especially if you’re at all an analytical person (and let’s face it, you kind of have to be if you want to get good at this stuff) This is why us instructors are so proficient at breaking down what students did right or wrong in a set simply by casually observing them. We can see the matrix.

I realized a long time ago that the secret to attraction isn’t in what you say, it’s in how you carry yourself; your presence, something controlled almost entirely by your body language . I knew that if I was to master the art of attraction, I would need to master the art of body language . Remembering the words of wisdom I had been told all those years ago, I turned to rock n roll.

I began sifting through literally hundreds of videos documenting performances of the most prolific and sexually charged rock icons in music history. I used my ‘sixth sense’ to meticulously analyze every thing they did. I studied how they walked, how they danced, their facial expressions, even how they stood still! I started to notice a pattern, there were three qualities that nearly every sex symbol in the history of rock n roll all had in common, and it had nothing to do with their music or looks.

The first quality I recognized was immediate; sexual presence. Most of the musicians elicited this through their dancing, which wasn’t that useful since I obviously couldn’t be dancing all the time. The absolute best example of sexual presence I could find was Jim Morrison simply because he elicited tremendous sexual presence by doing very little. I hadn’t watched any videos of him performing since I was a teenager and seeing it again with my ‘sixth sense’ absolutely blew my mind. He moved slowly, purposefully, as if to poeticize his presence. Everything seemed so calculated. After referencing what he did with a number of other sexual icons, I quickly made a list:

Advanced body language – Sexual Presence

1. Less is more.

• Move only when you need to, and react with delay.
• Slow down your movements, as if moving underwater.
• Movement should be bold, sporadic and purposeful.

2. Poeticize your presence.

• Absolutely believe that you are a spectacle to be witnessed.
• Draw attention to your every move with strong eye contact, and delayed responses.
• Always appear physically more comfortable than anyone else in the group. Lean back when standing, angle back and drape your arms when sitting.
• Your demeanor should be carefree, content; you do not want or need anything.

3. Emphasize your sexuality

• Relax your eyes. Look at Jim Morrison, Phil Lynott or even Marilyn Monroe, their eyes all carry the same look, model it.
• Slightly Purse your lips, as if you’re about to kiss them.
• Slightly tilt your head up and look down when speaking.
• Slowly study women’s faces during interaction, glance at lips periodically.
• Keep an inquisitory look of mild arousal on your face.

I began modeling my body language based on this list and the results were epic. This is the reason I stopped using routines , I no longer needed them. Everything they communicated I could now communicate with my body. Even openers started to become unnecessary as women were now opening ME more than ever, based simply on the way I stood and the look on my face. Attraction went from slowly earned to instantaneous, but there were still some gaps…

The hottest women, although attracted, would still shit test me. Not only that, but AMOGs started to become more of a problem as I was now getting a tremendous amount of female attention. This is where the second quality I found amongst sexual rock icons came in handy, and allowed me to smoothly and effortlessly diffuse any shit test or amog attempt that was thrown at me.

Stay tuned for part 2 of the article where I go over the second quality: Restraint.