Shitty Fashion Style #1:  Facial Piercings

I can understand ear piercings.  But when girls start shoving metal into their faces, I start to get graphic flashbacks of reading National Geographic when I was in grade school.  Sure, some guys don’t mind facial piercings, but it NEVER makes a girl look better.  In fact, if I see a pretty girl with a facial piercing, she instantly drops to an “average” girl in my book.  FYI ladies, studs in your cheek, nose, or chin make you look like you have a huge metal zit or something.  And eyebrow rings and lip rings – what’s the point?  They just get in the way!  Not only that, but anyone ever notice that facial piercings are constantly surrounded by red, irritated skin?  It looks horrible.  Stop it.

Shitty Fashion Style #2:  High Belts

You know, if a guy wears a belt up right beneath his chest, he’s either justifiably mocked or mistaken for an old-timey wrestler or something.  But girls seem to think its okay to wear a belt beneath their boobies.  Why?  I have not idea, because frankly, not only does it make them look like a midget from the belt-on-up, but it makes them look like they have HUGE FAT HIPS.  Seriously ladies.  What are you thinking?

Shitty Fashion Style #3:  Fat Blouses

Hey, here’s an idea… let’s wear a shirt that makes you look like you’re belly is 5-times larger than you really are!  That’s sure to get a guy’s attention.  Honestly, unless you’re pregnant and you’re trying to hide your baby bump, there’s really no excuse for this type of fashion faux-pas.  It would be one thing if you were really fat and you were trying to hide that fact from the world, but making yourself look like a blimp just does not compute.

Shitty Fashion Style #4:  Granny Panties

C’mon ladies.  It’s 2011.  There’s no excuse for wearing granny panties unless you are, in fact, a granny – or have completely given up on ever having sex with another human being in your lifetime.  You don’t always have to wear a thong, but the GPs should be nowhere in your possession.  I’m not even talking about wearing them, here.  If a guy even FINDS a pair of granny panties in your room, you can bet that at some point in your relationship, he will lose his boner because he’ll think of you wearing them.  If a guy can stop wearing tightie whities, you should stop wearing your equivalent.

Shitty Fashion Style #5:  Tattoo Sleves

Honestly, I’m not a big fan of Tattoos.  Some guys dig them, but when you’re 80 years old and in some old folks home, you’re gonna look hella dumb with some lame tattoo fading on your wrinkled-ass skin.  But if you feel the need to literally paint entire swatches of your skin with tattoos, you’re gonna look awful WAY before you become geriatric.  Seriously, why would any girl want to desecrate her body by tattooing shit all up her arms?  Not only does it look bad, it makes the girl look trashy and totally precludes her from getting a decent job or convincing any decent guy’s mother that she’s anything but bad news.  There are ways to get “arty” and express yourself without inking up your entire arms, and its a lot less embarrassing to hang out with you in public.  So if you’re thinking of getting a tattoo, get something sexy, not something hideous.

Do you have any problems with women’s fashion?  Let me know what you think in the comments.

What could be as alluring as a lady in red? A gentleman in red, finds a multicultural study published Aug. 2 in the Journal of Experimental Psychology: General.

Simply wearing the color red or being bordered by the rosy hue makes a man more attractive and sexually desirable to women, according to a series of studies by researchers at the University of Rochester and other institutions. And women are unaware of this arousing effect.

The cherry color’s charm ultimately lies in its ability to make men appear more powerful, says lead author Andrew Elliot, professor of psychology at the University of Rochester. “We found that women view men in red as higher in status, more likely to make money and more likely to climb the social ladder. And it’s this high-status judgment that leads to the attraction,” Elliot says.

Why does red signal rank? The authors see both culture and biology at work. In human societies across the globe, red traditionally has been part of the regalia of the rich and powerful. Ancient China, Japan and sub-Saharan Africa all used the vibrant tint to convey prosperity and elevated status, and Ancient Rome’s most powerful citizens were literally called “the ones who wear red.” Even today, the authors note, businessmen wear a red tie to indicate confidence, and celebrities and dignitaries are feted by “rolling out the red carpet.”

Along with this learned association between red and status, the authors point to the biological roots of human behavior. In non-human primates, like mandrills and gelada baboons, red is an indicator of male dominance and is expressed most intensely in alpha males. Females of these species mate more often with alpha males, who in turn provide protection and resources.

“When women see red it triggers something deep and probably biologically engrained,” explains Elliot. “We say in our culture that men act like animals in the sexual realm. It looks like women may be acting like animals as well in the same sort of way.”

To quantify the red effect, the paper analyzed responses from 288 female and 25 male undergraduates to photographs of men in seven different experiments. Participants were all self-identified as heterosexual or bisexual. In one color presentation, participants looked at a man’s photo framed by a border of either red or white and answered a series of questions, such as: “How attractive do you think this person is?”

Other experiments contrasted red with gray, green, or blue. Colors were precisely equated in lightness and intensity so that test results could not be attributed to differences other than hue.

In several experiments, the shirt of the man in the photographs was digitally colored either red or another color. Participants rated the pictured man’s status and attractiveness, and reported on their willingness to date, kiss, and engage in other sexual activity with the person. They also rated the man’s general likability, kindness, and extraversion.

The researchers found that the red effect was limited to status and romance: red made the man seem more powerful, attractive, and sexually desirable, but did not make the man seem more likable, kind, or sociable. The effect was consistent across cultures: undergraduates in the United States, England, Germany, and China all found men more attractive when wearing or bordered by red.

And the effect was limited to women. When males were asked to rate the attractiveness of a pictured male, color made no difference in their responses.

Across all the studies, the influence of color was totally under the radar. “We typically think of color in terms of beauty and aesthetics,” say Elliot. “But color carries meaning as well and affects our perception and behavior in important ways without our awareness.”

In earlier work, Elliot documented that men are more attracted to women in red. But the red effect depends on the context. Elliot and others have also shown that seeing red in competitive situations, such as IQ tests or sporting events, leads to worse performance.

So for those of you heading out to the clubs, time to invest in some red shirts.  :-)