Taffer wrote:

Can't Close The Deal?

I ought to cut back on drinking, or texting, or the combination of both.

Last three girls I came close to bedding have courteously responded in a similar manner after my reinitiation attempts, questioning my game efficiency.

All three girls have this in common.

- initially very high attraction to me (kino, make outs, day2s)
- okay Day2s with one leading to Day3 and crappy sex performance on my side
- Immeditaley unavailable following Day2/3 180 change in ther attraction and commitment to seeing me

I could attribute this to, persistent periodic texting.
If I have a good Day2 I obviously wanna see this girl again in a week or two. Maybe I tried to set up the next date too soon because I waited as little as 4 days to 10 days after day2 to schedule next encounter.

Maybe it’s my personality, I’m very open-book type of guy which may put some people off.

There’s a chance I came across too relationshippy and didn’t continue to keep the attraction up.

Last girl responded with a version of this,

“Taffer, you’re a deeply loving individual deserving best treatment. I had a lovely time, but I’m seeing somebody else these days”

I’m aghast to have yet another girl responding with this “heartfelt” crap.

So I’m a great, awesome, caring guy, for SOMEONE ELSE! Tired of this crap.

How do I even react to something like this?
Lacking major calibration somewhere.

I’m at my wits end here folks. I’d appreciate any input you guys can offer.

There is definitely an issue going on here.  Typically, you have to have some measure of attraction to get a Day 2 (meeting after the initial encounter), so Taffer is definitely doing something right there.  But his game falls apart shortly thereafter with his Day 2 strategy.  Here’s why…

First of all, Day 2s are about building rapport and escalating attraction.  This is really the essential part that MUST be done if you’re looking to advance the relationship.  (I explain all of this in my course Consistent Close.)  You must keep building that comfort and trust and enhancing the attraction between you two if you want any shot of moving beyond a Day 2.  Closing with a make-out is always a good goal at the end of the date.

Second of all, 90% of pick-up is about the follow-up.  If you notice, Taffer thinks he’s texting the girl too much and that’s what’s getting him in trouble.  It’s not.  In fact, texting with a girl a lot is a GOOD thing because it keeps those connections you created alive and deepens rapport with her, eventually making her easier to close.  His problem is the “waiting 4 to 10 days to schedule the next encounter.”  Waiting too long to set up the next date can be a kiss of death when it comes to closing a girl.  You gotta strike while the iron is hot.  Try to set up the next meeting immediately or soon after the Day 2.  You can set up the next date for 4-10 days later if your both busy, but don’t WAIT that long to broach the subject!

So much about pick-up is timing.  You gotta act fast, because before you sleep with a girl, she has nothing invested in you.  After sleeping with her once (and preferably doing a good job so she’ll want to do it again), then you can relax on setting up the dates.  But until that happens, you gotta stay on the ball.

Allowing too much time to pass between meetings will allow any attraction you built up to dissipate, and you’ll also communicate that maybe you’re not really that interested in her, which will cause the girl to LJBF you.  If you set up a meeting right away and keep the connection and attraction strong with frequent flirty texting and phone sessions, the Day 3 should be a guaranteed lay.

Dastardly Fox writes:
There is a super hot blonde (hands down 10 and never uses makeup) here at my firm, we’ve had several exchanges and she acts like a school girl and gets nervous when we talk (good nervous, clearly attracted to me) and I’m looking for good ways that would let me lead this outside the office for the next stage.  One catch it’s a law firm so I need to keep the office Convo light and fun (don’t Need harassment on my resume)

Oh and I’m not worried about a workplace romance going sour, she’s extremely shy (very smart book work lawyer) im discrete and the firm is huge, so we hardly run into each other and even work on the same floor.  My boy in the kitchen tells me that I’m hot shit because the women talk about me, and I’m attractive so no issues here, its all in the delivery and reason I think. the only catch is that I’m going to have to go out of my way to initiate this, or wait till the next hall encounter… Ideas? Email, phone call, wait for our next hall chat, or walk to her office and just ask? I don’t normally date at work so this is new, but she is by far the finest woman I’ve seen since the last fine woman I saw.

Okay, so when it comes to picking up women at the office/workplace, here are some of Thundercat’s tips…

First of all, try and not present yourself as a “co-worker.”  Being a “co-worker” can scare off women from dating you.  You need to come off as being an “outsider.”  Someone who just happens to work at the same place.  So talking about stuff that doesn’t involve work is a must!

Second, organize out-of-office events that get people to hang out with you in a non-work setting.  In Fox’s case, he could organize a meeting at a nearby bar or restaurant after work, and invite the girl he likes to join him there.  And since there is a group of co-workers meeting, it doesn’t feel like a high-intensity date-type-thingie.

Third, connect with her as much as possible.  Friend her on Facebook, text her if you have her number, email with her, IM, etc.  Do anything possible to chat her up when you’re not in direct contact with her.  This allows you to do all the attraction building stuff you need to.

Fourth, get her to meet you outside the office/workplace where it’s just the two of you.  Grabbing dinner, drinks, whatever.

Finally, be prepared for any objections she may have to dating a co-worker.  Try and anticipate what problems she might have and come up with responses to them BEFORE they arise.

Most people spend like 70% of their day at work, so its natural to want to date out of the workplace.  Just be prepared to handle the consequences if things don’t turn out well!  I personally think it’s worth the risk, but just realize that if a woman isn’t interested, it’s probably not a good idea to pursue it like you would with a woman you don’t work with.