How To Find The Right Toy For Your Girl

You know, I find it interesting that lots of guys look at sex toys as “competition.”  After all, if a woman has a good vibrator, what does she need a man for, right?  Well, I don’t agree with that.  I think a guy who can get his girl a good sex toy opens up a whole new world of fun and possibilities with his girl, because she’ll typically become more open to exploring things that are sexual with him in return.

I recently found these articles (check them out here and here) from a woman named Sarah Gibson who owns a sex toy website that lays out some good guidelines for choosing the right sex toy.  Interestingly enough, this section caught my attention:

Size

While it is incredibly important you get her a toy that is the perfect fit… you should try to avoid any embarrassing bra-shopping-type-incidents when you say to the sales assistant “Well she’s about your size.” Thankfully you can use yourself as a guide for how big or little you should go for internal vibrators. However, if you’d like something to use as an add-on to your own penetrative sex, stick with something really little like a bullet or clit vibe like the famous we-vibe. These can be slotted in place in between you both while you carry on as normal.

The biggest thin I’ve found when it comes to getting sex toys for your lady is to know what she prefers.  Some girls like penetration, while others prefer clitoral stimulation.  In my experience, the vast majority of women prefer the clitoral stimulation for various reasons, so when getting a toy for your girl, make sure your focus is on “vibrators” and not “dildos.”  Having the option of inserting the toy is good, but it can be hard to guess as to what kind of size and shape your girl will prefer.  You can always play it safe and get a vibrator for her.

Secondly, if you actually TAKE your girl shopping and let her pick out the toy, not only can you get the exact one she wants, but it can also be a lot of fun and really encouraging for her to open up to you about her preferences sexually.  Some girls might be shy about what gets them off, and taking them sex toy shopping can really bring them out of their shell.  Plus, most sex toy stores have so much crazy stuff in them, it can inspire your girl to want to experiment with new things too!

So this is a video from the late 80s/early 90s from some talk show giving a bunch of hard-up women advice about men.  Unfortunately, it’s all bad, terrible advice.  Even though this footage is decades old, this just furthers my theory that women have no clue about how men think or operate (for the most part, there are always exceptions).  Anyway, modern advice about men hasn’t gotten much better from where it was in the 80s and 90s apparently.  So keep this in mind – women will actually BELIEVE this crap because its what the Oprah-ized media feeds them.  BEWARE!

And by all men, I’m speaking mostly for myself, and assuming no other man out there is dumb enough to like what I clearly don’t.  But frankly, there are some things girls adorn themselves with that I just absolutely HATE.  I’m talking like Hitler hates the Jews.  As in, if I could murder these fashions, I’d have no problem sleeping at night.  Seriously, that’s how much I hate these horrible fashions that some women insist on subjecting me to.

Shitty Fashion Style #1:  Facial Piercings

I can understand ear piercings.  But when girls start shoving metal into their faces, I start to get graphic flashbacks of reading National Geographic when I was in grade school.  Sure, some guys don’t mind facial piercings, but it NEVER makes a girl look better.  In fact, if I see a pretty girl with a facial piercing, she instantly drops to an “average” girl in my book.  FYI ladies, studs in your cheek, nose, or chin make you look like you have a huge metal zit or something.  And eyebrow rings and lip rings – what’s the point?  They just get in the way!  Not only that, but anyone ever notice that facial piercings are constantly surrounded by red, irritated skin?  It looks horrible.  Stop it.

Shitty Fashion Style #2:  High Belts

You know, if a guy wears a belt up right beneath his chest, he’s either justifiably mocked or mistaken for an old-timey wrestler or something.  But girls seem to think its okay to wear a belt beneath their boobies.  Why?  I have not idea, because frankly, not only does it make them look like a midget from the belt-on-up, but it makes them look like they have HUGE FAT HIPS.  Seriously ladies.  What are you thinking?

Shitty Fashion Style #3:  Fat Blouses

Hey, here’s an idea… let’s wear a shirt that makes you look like you’re belly is 5-times larger than you really are!  That’s sure to get a guy’s attention.  Honestly, unless you’re pregnant and you’re trying to hide your baby bump, there’s really no excuse for this type of fashion faux-pas.  It would be one thing if you were really fat and you were trying to hide that fact from the world, but making yourself look like a blimp just does not compute.

Shitty Fashion Style #4:  Granny Panties

C’mon ladies.  It’s 2011.  There’s no excuse for wearing granny panties unless you are, in fact, a granny – or have completely given up on ever having sex with another human being in your lifetime.  You don’t always have to wear a thong, but the GPs should be nowhere in your possession.  I’m not even talking about wearing them, here.  If a guy even FINDS a pair of granny panties in your room, you can bet that at some point in your relationship, he will lose his boner because he’ll think of you wearing them.  If a guy can stop wearing tightie whities, you should stop wearing your equivalent.

Shitty Fashion Style #5:  Tattoo Sleves

Honestly, I’m not a big fan of Tattoos.  Some guys dig them, but when you’re 80 years old and in some old folks home, you’re gonna look hella dumb with some lame tattoo fading on your wrinkled-ass skin.  But if you feel the need to literally paint entire swatches of your skin with tattoos, you’re gonna look awful WAY before you become geriatric.  Seriously, why would any girl want to desecrate her body by tattooing shit all up her arms?  Not only does it look bad, it makes the girl look trashy and totally precludes her from getting a decent job or convincing any decent guy’s mother that she’s anything but bad news.  There are ways to get “arty” and express yourself without inking up your entire arms, and its a lot less embarrassing to hang out with you in public.  So if you’re thinking of getting a tattoo, get something sexy, not something hideous.

Do you have any problems with women’s fashion?  Let me know what you think in the comments.

This was just too funny, I had to share it with y’all.  Some girl back in 2007 put up a post on Craigslist asking why she couldn’t find a decent guy to support her in New York.  Some genius random poster wrote the perfect response to dealing with any golddigger.  Check it out.

9/25/07 THIS APPEARED ON CRAIG’S LIST in New York

What am I doing wrong?

Okay, I’m tired of beating around the bush.  I’m a beautiful (spectacularly beautiful) 25 year old girl. I’m articulate and classy.

I’m not from New York. I’m looking to get married to a guy who makes at least half a million a year. I know how that sounds, but keep in mind that a million a year is middle class in New York City, so I don’t think I’m overreaching at all.

Are there any guys who make 500K or more on this board? Any wives? Could you send me some tips? I dated a business man who makes average around 200 – 250. But that’s where I seem to hit a roadblock. 250,000 won’t get me to central park west. I know a woman in my yoga class who was married to an investment banker and lives in Tribeca, and she’s not as pretty as I am, nor is she a great genius. So what is she doing right? How do I get to her level?

Here are my questions specifically:

- Where do you single rich men hang out? Give me specifics- bars, restaurants, gyms

-What are you looking for in a mate? Be honest guys, you won’t hurt my feelings

-Is there an age range I should be targeting (I’m 25)?

- Why are some of the women living lavish lifestyles on the upper east side so plain?  I’ve seen really ‘plain jane’ boring types who have nothing to offer married to incredibly wealthy guys. I’ve seen drop dead gorgeous girls in singles bars in the east village. What’s the story there?

- Jobs I should look out for? Everyone knows – lawyer, investment banker, doctor. How much do those guys really make? And where do they hang out? Where do the hedge fund guys hang out?

- How you decide marriage vs. just a girlfriend? I am looking for MARRIAGE ONLY

Please hold your insults – I’m putting myself out there in an honest way. Most beautiful women are superficial; at least I’m being up front about it. I wouldn’t be searching for these kind of guys if I wasn’t able to match them – in looks, culture, sophistication, and keeping a nice home and hearth.

That was the question from the aforementioned Gold-digger.  Now here’s the response.  (WARNING:  Prepare for awesomeness!)

Dear Pers-431649184:

I read your posting with great interest and have thought meaningfully about your dilemma.  I offer the following analysis of your predicament.

Firstly, I’m not wasting your time, I qualify as a guy who fits your bill; that is I make more than $500K per year. That said here’s how I see it.

Your offer, from the prospective of a guy like me, is plain and simple a crappy business deal. Here’s why. Cutting through all the B.S., what you suggest is a simple trade: you bring your looks to the party and I bring my money. Fine, simple. But here’s the rub, your looks will fade and my money will likely continue into perpetuity…in fact, it is very likely that my income increases but it is an absolute certainty that you won’t be getting any more beautiful!

So, in economic terms you are a depreciating asset and I am an earning asset. Not only are you a depreciating asset, your depreciation accelerates! Let me explain, you’re 25 now and will likely stay pretty hot for the next 5 years, but less so each year. Then the fade begins in earnest. By 35 stick a fork in you!

So in Wall Street terms, we would call you a trading position, not a buy and hold…hence the rub…marriage. It doesn’t make good business sense to “buy you” (which is what you’re asking) so I’d rather lease. In case you think I’m being cruel, I would say the following. If my money were to go away, so would you, so when your beauty fades I need an out. It’s as simple as that. So a deal that makes sense is dating, not marriage.

Separately, I was taught early in my career about efficient markets. So, I wonder why a girl as “articulate, classy and spectacularly beautiful” as you has been unable to find your sugar daddy. I find it hard to believe that if you are as gorgeous as you say you are that the $500K hasn’t found you, if not only for a tryout.

By the way, you could always find a way to make your own money and then we wouldn’t need to have this difficult conversation.

With all that said, I must say you’re going about it the right way.

Classic “pump and dump.”

I hope this is helpful, and if you want to enter into some sort of lease, let me know.

Classic!  And right on the money as well.

Str8wlkr over on the Natural Game forum had an interesting post about Leading a relationship vs. controlling a relationship.  This topic actually sprung from a thread on a different message board about whether or not guys should let their girlfriends go out to clubs.  And you know what?  It brings up some pretty interesting questions…

Str8wlkr writes:

"Oh na-na, what's my name?"

I’d like to have people’s opinion on this matter. I post on an automotive forum that has a relationships sections in the Off topic and this discussion erupted into something interesting.

Keep in mind that the thread was originally about “Do you let your girlfriend go to clubs?”

==> Now, a handful of guys don’t allow their girlfriends to go clubbing because they consider that the only reason a girl would go to a club is to hook up with guys, wich they don’t agree with and don’t want to deal with.

==> Other guys advocate freedom and allowing freedom to breed trust.

Here are some quotes from this thread :

“At first I don’t allow it but after some time when she has proved me she is trustworthy, she can go clubbing with her friends.”

“I don’t set limits to her behaviour and she doesn’t set limits to mine. We both know and understand what the significant other considers inappropriate or not so we don’t do it.”

“Boom. If you make every situation into some kind of forbidden fruit, she will eventually bite into it.”

“You shouldn’t control a women. Let her do whatever she wants. If it’s made to be, it’s made to be, and if not, then she’ll cheat on you. Preventing her will only postpone the inevitable.”

“So many members are whipped and don’t know it. Listen bro, Clubs are for what? Dancing and fucking.”

“It’s not that they are whipped, some men are just passive in the relationship. For instance if you take a woman with a really strong character and couple her with a man who has weak character the outcome will be : the man will be whipped. (however it is not his fault because thats how life and mother nature formed him throughout his life). Judging from many posts/replies on this forum, many of these kids would consider me insecure because I don’t let my woman do anything without my consent.I simply believe that there should be only 1 leader and he is the one who gives the final word. The man should be the head of the family/relationship (the woman is not the neck , she does not turn the head). Very few women are good leaders. And if you mutually compromise with each other all the time , somewhere along the line you will get fucked over.”

“The man has got to be the leader and in control, it has always been this way”

“I give freedom to her and she gives freedom to me we both love each other for it. I choose to let her do what she wants, it’s a conscious choice that I make because I expect the fucking same in return. If something is inappropriate, I will put my foot down and make my point loud and clear, but we both understand eachother’s boundaries pretty good so this didn’t happen a lot….I do not consider that I have to ask permission to anyone to do things, so I don’t think my girlfriend should have to do it either. some girls like to be told what to do because they get a feeling of security out of it, but it can’t work smoothly with all of them in my opinion.”

Then it ended up being a discussion about the difference between a leader and a controlling boyfriend.

The last quote is from me, so you know where I’m standing, but I wonder how the Natural Game considers this point.

I firmly believe that a true leader can decide to set someone free and be a leader for it.

I actually found this post really interesting because basically, this all comes down to how healthy one’s relationship with their woman is.  In order to have a healthy relationship, you need two things – trust and intimacy.  And if there is no trust, you can’t truly be intimate with someone.

So in a way, the question here isn’t really if you’re a “leader” or a “controller,” but about how much trust you have built in your relationship.  Because honestly, trying to control another person is always a failing proposition.  It might work for a while, but eventually they’ll resent you for it.

There is an argument to be made that bars or clubs are only good for “dancing and fucking.”  I mean, let’s face it, they are meat markets for the most part.  But they’re also places to go, socialize, and have a good time.  If you’re girl is going out with her friends to a bar or a club, that doesn’t mean she’s going there to cheat on you.  However, by their very nature, your girl WILL be hit on if she’s even halfway decent looking (and depending on the venue, even if she isn’t!).  This means that she’s putting herself in a position where she COULD cheat on you.  I mean, we’ve all heard of girls who went out, got drunk, and slept with some guy, then woke up the next morning and realized they cheated even though they didn’t mean to.

So there IS something to be worried about when you allow your girl to go out without you to party.  But this also comes down to the trust you’ve built in your relationship.  Healthy relationships allow both people a certain amount of freedom.  You can go out with your friends, she can go out with hers, and you both shouldn’t be worried about what the other might do while you’re away.  The minute that stops being the case, the two of you are no longer in a “healthy” relationship because somewhere along the way, trust got broken.

If a guy is insecure in his relationship, that usually means he’s insecure about himself, and he’ll see his girl jumping at any chance she can get to cheat on him.  This will not only drive the guy to do stupid stuff, but it will also eat away at the relationship in the long term.  If you want to build trust in a relationship, you have to be comfortable with yourself, you have to feel you deserve the relationship you’re in, and most of all, you have to know the character of the woman you’re with.

If the girl you’re in a relationship with is a party chick who likes to drink and stuff, you know that she’s more likely to cheat on you when she goes out than a girl who only drinks socially, for instance.  That is why it is important to establish boundaries in a relationship.  Every good relationship has ground rules that are built around the needs of both parties, and enforced by the trust they have for each other.

So if you know your girl *might* cheat on you if she goes out to a club with friends, you can set a ground-rule of “Babe, I don’t mind you going out with your friends, but I don’t want you going to a bar or a club with them unless I can come along.”

That’s not an unreasonable request.  Many of these relationship “ground rules” are established inadvertently to begin with, because often we just kinda fall into routines when we’re with someone.  But if one person or the other continually steps out of these ground-rules, you do have to put your foot down and call them on it.  This is the difference between having a strong hand in your relationship and being a push-over.  Your typical AFC will let the girl he’s with get away with anything she wants, even if she continually crosses the rules they established.  A strong man won’t let that behavior go unchecked.

The best solution?  Try to build trust with your partner, and make your ground-rules clear to each other.  Give them the freedom they deserve within the rules, but if they’re crossed, let them know about it.  I don’t really think you can ever truly “lead” a relationship, but you can police it, and bring your girl back in line if she steps out of bounds.  Just remember to treat her how you want her to treat you, and everything should be fine.