Kill Your Desperation
April 15, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
There’s a really, really good post by Pook over at the DJ Discussion Forum about how women can pick-up on desperation in a man and what men can do to get rid of that desperation. It is funny how women have a kind-of 6th sense about that sort of thing (it’s almost as if they can SMELL how horny we are, lol). But then again, when you learn to see the signs, as women have, perhaps it’s not such a mystical thing…
Pook writes:
Being a Don Juan is not a net sum of smooth manuevers and methods but of your own outlook on the world and on women. ANYONE can memorize ‘techniques’, but FEW can change the way HOW they think. Women will be able to sniff out the former. But with the latter, women will be clawing each other for you.A Don Juan is a state of mind, not a list of methods and tricks.
This must be stated because it brings us to the subject of ‘desperation’.
In the end, we are all desperate with desire. We wouldn’t be looking for tips and answers if we did not desire a girlfriend or MULTIPLE girlfriends (being a bit ambitious, aren’t we?). We all want a woman (or women), but our desire and feelings brings out the desperation traits within us.
Where I work, I ask the women why they found a co-worker to be so desperate. Here are some of their answers:
-always giving the women attention.
-calling all the time (and calling immediately once getting the number, immediately returning a call, etc.)
-taking every opportunity to talk to them (and telling everything about yourself)
-always available.
-NEVER willing to walk away (NEVER willing to disagree, ALWAYS supplicating).
-etc.What theme can we find in the above? It is that the man puts the woman on the pedestal rather then himself.
Imagine if a woman did all of the above to you. Imagine if a woman was OBSESSED with you, always calling you, always available, and always spending her free time FOR YOU. Any interest you had for this woman would soon evaporate. Why? Because in your own mind you are thinking two things: “No one else must want her,” AND “If I can get her OBSESSED about me, I know I can get BETTER girls to be interested in me.” Her desperation is turning you off. The same is true for women.
Women are not attracted to desperate men. Period. I’ve told my co-worker this and his response: “Well, that is just who I am.” Eventually, he will realize that the only common denominator in his pattern of crash and burns will be HIM. So if anyone has told you that you’re desperate, consider that its true.
There is a KEY to removing desperation forever. There is no simple ‘trick’ that will kill the desperation. It will not be in how you dress, how you talk, or where you go for dates. No, the KEY is in how you think.
The KEY to killing desperation (and attracting crowds of women) is to THINK and BELIEVE that you are The Great Catch.
Desperate guys do not do this. They see the woman as the prize rather then themselves. They see that the woman must be ‘wooed’ rather then them. They will, thus, supplicate and become a ‘nice guy’. (And nice guys finish LAST.)
If you start treating a woman like precious gold, she will believe she is gold. And once she believes it, she will DUMP YOU because YOU have given her the sense that she is BETTER then you. Once she thinks that, she will want to REPLACE YOU with someone better, because you have given her reasons to believe that YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF HER GREATNESS.
After all, if we think we can ****** someone better, we will. This holds true for both men and women. The last thing we want is to settle for a mate when we could have gotten better. (This is why the element of challenge is so important in the Dating Game.)
The lesson: DON’T GIVE HER A REASON TO THINK SHE IS BETTER. You are the gold; she should be thrilled just to have A CHANCE with you.
The first step in becoming the Prince Charming every woman dreams of is to THINK OF YOURSELF AS A PRINCE.
When you BELIEVE you are that prince, that you are The Great Catch, all the ‘desperation’ signs you were emitting vanish and an aura of attraction will surround you. Combine this manner of thinking with all the Don Juan skills you know, and you will become irresistable.
Let us look at the desperation signs again:
-always giving the women attention.
Now that you’re The Prince, you don’t have time to give women attention. A Prince is kind, ENTHUSIASTIC, smiling, yet YOU have things to do. A Prince’s time is precious. A woman must win your attention; you shall not give it to them.
-calling all the time (and calling immediately once getting the number, immediately returning a call, etc.)
The Great Catch simply CANNOT call all the time because he has tons of other numbers. The Great Catch is not competing for a particular girl. The girls, rather, are competing for him.
-taking every opportunity to talk to them (and telling everything about yourself)
Why would Prince Charming tell everything about himself to a woman? No, the woman must JUSTIFY HERSELF to him because YOU ARE THE GOODS. The Prince would reveal things about himself only as a reward. The woman loves the mystery in this and sees knowing the Prince as peeling layers of an onion, knowing him GRADUALLY.
-always available.
The Great Catch is busy with many many women! She must fight for your time, NOT the other way around.
-NEVER willing to walk away (NEVER willing to disagree, ALWAYS supplicating).
Prince Charming wouldn’t accept ANY disrespect from any woman. If a woman gave him such disrespect, he WALKS AWAY. The Prince KNOWS all these women want to be with him so he can eject at any time.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Pook, I can’t act like a Prince Charming or The Great Catch. I DON’T have tons of women after me.” This is reversing CAUSE and EFFECT. ASSUME you are the Great Catch, THINK that you are, and as you think you shall become. It becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy. Treat your hobbies as if they have more value then the women do (or treat your hobbies as if they WERE other women). When you think you are the Great Catch, you will act like it and the women will KNOW that you are.
Women love certain traits in guys. By THINKING you are The Great Catch allows you to emit these traits NATURALLY and without any effort.
-Good looks
You cannot change your genes. But you can change the way how you treat those genes. Does Prince Charming wear raggedy T-shirts? Does the Great Catch walk with his head down? NO! You will wear nice clothes and walk with pride BECAUSE you are proud of yourself. After all, you ARE one of the best. So treat yourself accordingly.
Anyone can wear a suit. But few can wear a suit proudly. Few can wear a suit that seems to fit them naturally and creates an aura of importance. Good carriage, excellent threads, are the CONSEQUENCE by how you think of yourself. Women know this and is the reason why you are judged by this criteria.
-Humor
Girls LOVE humor. Prince Charming and the Great Catch are funny because they know that they, themselves, are fun. They don’t worry, “My goodness, she is really cute! How can I attract her!?” They ASSUME she will be attracted and they have fun in the meantime.
Don’t be shy. Let your personality SHINE. When you think you are the Great Catch, this should come more naturally because you have nothing to fear.
-Dominance
You are THE MAN. You must be IN CHARGE. Desperate guys will try to be ‘nice’ in every which way to win the girl (and fail, of course). But Prince Charming and the Great Catch will SWEEP WOMEN OFF THEIR FEET. When you THINK you are the goods, you realize that it is ridiculous to treat a relationship and flirting as walking on eggshells. YOU set the rules, NOT the other way around. After all, YOU are the prize to be sought.
Look at the soap operas and romance novels for grounds of this. Women like to be in the presence of a MAN, not a boy, not a chump, and certainly not a ‘nice guy’.
Dominance is also being sure of yourself. Do not speak in a soft tone. Speak STRONGLY and behave STRONGLY. After all, do you think Prince Charming worries about making mistakes? No, so neither should you.
I know, I know. I can hear you saying, “But I must worry about mistakes or else I’ll have another ‘learning experience’ on my hands.”
This is a GOOD THING. Let us say that, in a normal conversation, you came across a word you did not know how to pronounce. Most people will utter the word softly for fear of criticism. This is stupid. Say the word LOUD! Let me repeat, say the word LOUD! If you are wrong, you will be corrected. Clearing up mistakes is ALWAYS a good thing and should NEVER be feared.
The same applies with dating. Do not date with hesitation and shyness; date with all conviction. Remember, the biggest risk you can take in life is not to take any risks at all.
-Ambition
When you think yourself as The Great Catch, you KNOW women are not the priority of your life. After all, the Great Catch knows he can get any woman whenever he wants. When you feel good about life, you cease to fear success and demand Life show all that it has. Aim for the moon. If you miss, at least you’ll be among the stars.
So in the end, too often men think they need a girlfriend to have their life ‘complete’. The consequence is that these men will emit signs of desperation. Success is achieved first through the mind, then through the world, never the other way around.
Good stuff. You can check out the whole thread here.
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CBS News editor in chief Bari Weiss decided to shelve a planned “60 Minutes” story titled “Inside CECOT,” creating an uproar inside CBS, but the report has reached a worldwide audience anyway.
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On Monday, some Canadian viewers noticed that the pre-planned “60 Minutes” episode was published on a streaming platform owned by Global TV, the network that has the rights to “60 Minutes” in Canada.
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The preplanned episode led with correspondent Sharyn Alfonsi’s story — the one that Weiss stopped from airing in the US because she said it was “not ready.”
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Several Canadian viewers shared clips and summaries of the story on social media, and within hours, the videos went viral on platforms like Reddit and Bluesky.
“Watch fast,” one of the Canadian viewers wrote on Bluesky, predicting that CBS would try to have the videos taken offline.
Related article
The Free Press’ Honestly with Bari Weiss (pictured) hosts Senator Ted Cruz presented by Uber and X on January 18, 2025 in Washington, DC.
Inside the Bari Weiss decision that led to a ‘60 Minutes’ crisis
Progressive Substack writers and commentators blasted out the clips and urged people to share them. “This could wind up being the most-watched newsmagazine segment in television history,” the high-profile Trump antagonist George Conway commented on X.
A CBS News spokesperson had no immediate comment on the astonishing turn of events.
Alfonsi’s report was weeks in the making. Weiss screened it for the first time last Thursday night. The story was finalized on Friday, according to CBS sources, and was announced in a press release that same day.
On Saturday morning, Weiss began to change her mind about the story and raised concerns about its content, including the lack of responses from the relevant Trump administration officials.
But networks like CBS sometimes deliver taped programming to affiliates like Global TV ahead of time. That appears to be what happened in this case: The Friday version of the “60 Minutes” episode is what streamed to Canadian viewers.
The inadvertent Canadian stream is “the best thing that could have happened,” a CBS source told CNN on Monday evening, arguing that the Alfonsi piece is “excellent” and should have been televised as intended.
People close to Weiss have argued that the piece was imbalanced, however, because it did not include interviews with Trump officials.
Weiss told staffers on Monday, “We need to be able to get the principals on the record and on camera.” However, in an earlier memo to colleagues, Alfonsi asserted that her team tried, and their “refusal to be interviewed” was “a tactical maneuver designed to kill the story.”
At the end of the segment that streamed on Global TV’s platform, Alfonsi said Homeland Security “declined our request for an interview and referred all questions about CECOT to El Salvador. The government there did not respond to our request.”
The segment included sound bites from President Trump and Homeland Security Secretary Kristi Noem. But it was clearly meant to be a story about Venezuelan men deported to El Salvador, not about the officials who implemented Trump’s mass deportation policy.
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Buffett is best known as a value investor – someone who buys companies he believes are undervalued. “If you buy things for far below what they’re worth and you buy a group of them, you basically don’t lose money,” he explained on Adam Smith’s Money World.
But Buffett’s advice also speaks to the need to diversify risk.
“It’s the foundation of how I manage client money,” said certified financial planner and CPA Brian Kearns. “Investing is about growth, but it is also about capital preservation. … Find reasonably priced investments … but don’t risk too much of your net worth on one idea.”
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Warren Buffett greets shareholders during Berkshire Hathaway’s annual shareholder meeting in Omaha, Nebraska, in 2008.
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Warren Buffett greets shareholders during Berkshire Hathaway’s annual shareholder meeting in Omaha, Nebraska, on May 3, 2008. Carlos Barria/Reuters
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As one of the world’s most successful investors, Warren Buffett’s views on markets, companies and the economy have always been of great interest on Wall Street and Main Street.
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Now 95, Buffett is stepping down as CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, 60 years after taking a controlling share in the company.
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But during his long tenure Buffett has had plenty of sensible things to say about how to invest well and live a good life through the work you choose and the way you treat people.
Here’s just a sampling:
Don’t lose money
“The first rule in investment is don’t lose. And the second rule in investment is don’t forget the first rule.”
Buffett is best known as a value investor – someone who buys companies he believes are undervalued. “If you buy things for far below what they’re worth and you buy a group of them, you basically don’t lose money,” he explained on Adam Smith’s Money World.
But Buffett’s advice also speaks to the need to diversify risk.
“It’s the foundation of how I manage client money,” said certified financial planner and CPA Brian Kearns. “Investing is about growth, but it is also about capital preservation. … Find reasonably priced investments … but don’t risk too much of your net worth on one idea.”
It also means investing across asset classes. “They all have different risk profiles and, when combined, allow you to hold investments for the long term because you will experience less volatility,” Kearns said.
Warren Buffett greets shareholders during Berkshire Hathaway’s annual shareholder meeting in Omaha, Nebraska, in 2008.
Warren Buffett’s life in pictures
42 photos
Warren Buffett greets shareholders during Berkshire Hathaway’s annual shareholder meeting in Omaha, Nebraska, on May 3, 2008. Carlos Barria/Reuters
Focus on the essentials
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You don’t get labeled the “Oracle of Omaha” for nothing.
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As one of the world’s most successful investors, Warren Buffett’s views on markets, companies and the economy have always been of great interest on Wall Street and Main Street.
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Now 95, Buffett is stepping down as CEO of Berkshire Hathaway, 60 years after taking a controlling share in the company.
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But during his long tenure Buffett has had plenty of sensible things to say about how to invest well and live a good life through the work you choose and the way you treat people.
Here’s just a sampling:
Don’t lose money
“The first rule in investment is don’t lose. And the second rule in investment is don’t forget the first rule.”
Buffett is best known as a value investor – someone who buys companies he believes are undervalued. “If you buy things for far below what they’re worth and you buy a group of them, you basically don’t lose money,” he explained on Adam Smith’s Money World.
But Buffett’s advice also speaks to the need to diversify risk.
“It’s the foundation of how I manage client money,” said certified financial planner and CPA Brian Kearns. “Investing is about growth, but it is also about capital preservation. … Find reasonably priced investments … but don’t risk too much of your net worth on one idea.”
It also means investing across asset classes. “They all have different risk profiles and, when combined, allow you to hold investments for the long term because you will experience less volatility,” Kearns said.
Warren Buffett greets shareholders during Berkshire Hathaway’s annual shareholder meeting in Omaha, Nebraska, in 2008.
Warren Buffett’s life in pictures
42 photos
Warren Buffett greets shareholders during Berkshire Hathaway’s annual shareholder meeting in Omaha, Nebraska, on May 3, 2008. Carlos Barria/Reuters
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