Kill Your Desperation
April 15, 2004 by Thundercat
Filed under Tips & Tricks
There’s a really, really good post by Pook over at the DJ Discussion Forum about how women can pick-up on desperation in a man and what men can do to get rid of that desperation. It is funny how women have a kind-of 6th sense about that sort of thing (it’s almost as if they can SMELL how horny we are, lol). But then again, when you learn to see the signs, as women have, perhaps it’s not such a mystical thing…
Pook writes:
Being a Don Juan is not a net sum of smooth manuevers and methods but of your own outlook on the world and on women. ANYONE can memorize ‘techniques’, but FEW can change the way HOW they think. Women will be able to sniff out the former. But with the latter, women will be clawing each other for you.A Don Juan is a state of mind, not a list of methods and tricks.
This must be stated because it brings us to the subject of ‘desperation’.
In the end, we are all desperate with desire. We wouldn’t be looking for tips and answers if we did not desire a girlfriend or MULTIPLE girlfriends (being a bit ambitious, aren’t we?). We all want a woman (or women), but our desire and feelings brings out the desperation traits within us.
Where I work, I ask the women why they found a co-worker to be so desperate. Here are some of their answers:
-always giving the women attention.
-calling all the time (and calling immediately once getting the number, immediately returning a call, etc.)
-taking every opportunity to talk to them (and telling everything about yourself)
-always available.
-NEVER willing to walk away (NEVER willing to disagree, ALWAYS supplicating).
-etc.What theme can we find in the above? It is that the man puts the woman on the pedestal rather then himself.
Imagine if a woman did all of the above to you. Imagine if a woman was OBSESSED with you, always calling you, always available, and always spending her free time FOR YOU. Any interest you had for this woman would soon evaporate. Why? Because in your own mind you are thinking two things: “No one else must want her,” AND “If I can get her OBSESSED about me, I know I can get BETTER girls to be interested in me.” Her desperation is turning you off. The same is true for women.
Women are not attracted to desperate men. Period. I’ve told my co-worker this and his response: “Well, that is just who I am.” Eventually, he will realize that the only common denominator in his pattern of crash and burns will be HIM. So if anyone has told you that you’re desperate, consider that its true.
There is a KEY to removing desperation forever. There is no simple ‘trick’ that will kill the desperation. It will not be in how you dress, how you talk, or where you go for dates. No, the KEY is in how you think.
The KEY to killing desperation (and attracting crowds of women) is to THINK and BELIEVE that you are The Great Catch.
Desperate guys do not do this. They see the woman as the prize rather then themselves. They see that the woman must be ‘wooed’ rather then them. They will, thus, supplicate and become a ‘nice guy’. (And nice guys finish LAST.)
If you start treating a woman like precious gold, she will believe she is gold. And once she believes it, she will DUMP YOU because YOU have given her the sense that she is BETTER then you. Once she thinks that, she will want to REPLACE YOU with someone better, because you have given her reasons to believe that YOU ARE UNWORTHY OF HER GREATNESS.
After all, if we think we can ****** someone better, we will. This holds true for both men and women. The last thing we want is to settle for a mate when we could have gotten better. (This is why the element of challenge is so important in the Dating Game.)
The lesson: DON’T GIVE HER A REASON TO THINK SHE IS BETTER. You are the gold; she should be thrilled just to have A CHANCE with you.
The first step in becoming the Prince Charming every woman dreams of is to THINK OF YOURSELF AS A PRINCE.
When you BELIEVE you are that prince, that you are The Great Catch, all the ‘desperation’ signs you were emitting vanish and an aura of attraction will surround you. Combine this manner of thinking with all the Don Juan skills you know, and you will become irresistable.
Let us look at the desperation signs again:
-always giving the women attention.
Now that you’re The Prince, you don’t have time to give women attention. A Prince is kind, ENTHUSIASTIC, smiling, yet YOU have things to do. A Prince’s time is precious. A woman must win your attention; you shall not give it to them.
-calling all the time (and calling immediately once getting the number, immediately returning a call, etc.)
The Great Catch simply CANNOT call all the time because he has tons of other numbers. The Great Catch is not competing for a particular girl. The girls, rather, are competing for him.
-taking every opportunity to talk to them (and telling everything about yourself)
Why would Prince Charming tell everything about himself to a woman? No, the woman must JUSTIFY HERSELF to him because YOU ARE THE GOODS. The Prince would reveal things about himself only as a reward. The woman loves the mystery in this and sees knowing the Prince as peeling layers of an onion, knowing him GRADUALLY.
-always available.
The Great Catch is busy with many many women! She must fight for your time, NOT the other way around.
-NEVER willing to walk away (NEVER willing to disagree, ALWAYS supplicating).
Prince Charming wouldn’t accept ANY disrespect from any woman. If a woman gave him such disrespect, he WALKS AWAY. The Prince KNOWS all these women want to be with him so he can eject at any time.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, “Pook, I can’t act like a Prince Charming or The Great Catch. I DON’T have tons of women after me.” This is reversing CAUSE and EFFECT. ASSUME you are the Great Catch, THINK that you are, and as you think you shall become. It becomes a self-fullfilling prophecy. Treat your hobbies as if they have more value then the women do (or treat your hobbies as if they WERE other women). When you think you are the Great Catch, you will act like it and the women will KNOW that you are.
Women love certain traits in guys. By THINKING you are The Great Catch allows you to emit these traits NATURALLY and without any effort.
-Good looks
You cannot change your genes. But you can change the way how you treat those genes. Does Prince Charming wear raggedy T-shirts? Does the Great Catch walk with his head down? NO! You will wear nice clothes and walk with pride BECAUSE you are proud of yourself. After all, you ARE one of the best. So treat yourself accordingly.
Anyone can wear a suit. But few can wear a suit proudly. Few can wear a suit that seems to fit them naturally and creates an aura of importance. Good carriage, excellent threads, are the CONSEQUENCE by how you think of yourself. Women know this and is the reason why you are judged by this criteria.
-Humor
Girls LOVE humor. Prince Charming and the Great Catch are funny because they know that they, themselves, are fun. They don’t worry, “My goodness, she is really cute! How can I attract her!?” They ASSUME she will be attracted and they have fun in the meantime.
Don’t be shy. Let your personality SHINE. When you think you are the Great Catch, this should come more naturally because you have nothing to fear.
-Dominance
You are THE MAN. You must be IN CHARGE. Desperate guys will try to be ‘nice’ in every which way to win the girl (and fail, of course). But Prince Charming and the Great Catch will SWEEP WOMEN OFF THEIR FEET. When you THINK you are the goods, you realize that it is ridiculous to treat a relationship and flirting as walking on eggshells. YOU set the rules, NOT the other way around. After all, YOU are the prize to be sought.
Look at the soap operas and romance novels for grounds of this. Women like to be in the presence of a MAN, not a boy, not a chump, and certainly not a ‘nice guy’.
Dominance is also being sure of yourself. Do not speak in a soft tone. Speak STRONGLY and behave STRONGLY. After all, do you think Prince Charming worries about making mistakes? No, so neither should you.
I know, I know. I can hear you saying, “But I must worry about mistakes or else I’ll have another ‘learning experience’ on my hands.”
This is a GOOD THING. Let us say that, in a normal conversation, you came across a word you did not know how to pronounce. Most people will utter the word softly for fear of criticism. This is stupid. Say the word LOUD! Let me repeat, say the word LOUD! If you are wrong, you will be corrected. Clearing up mistakes is ALWAYS a good thing and should NEVER be feared.
The same applies with dating. Do not date with hesitation and shyness; date with all conviction. Remember, the biggest risk you can take in life is not to take any risks at all.
-Ambition
When you think yourself as The Great Catch, you KNOW women are not the priority of your life. After all, the Great Catch knows he can get any woman whenever he wants. When you feel good about life, you cease to fear success and demand Life show all that it has. Aim for the moon. If you miss, at least you’ll be among the stars.
So in the end, too often men think they need a girlfriend to have their life ‘complete’. The consequence is that these men will emit signs of desperation. Success is achieved first through the mind, then through the world, never the other way around.
Good stuff. You can check out the whole thread here.
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Pope Leo XIV celebrated the first Christmas since his election by denouncing the suffering of people of Gaza – taking shelter in tents from the “rain, wind and cold” – and by calling for the guns to fall silent in Ukraine.
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On Christmas Day, the first US-born pope, offered the traditional “Urbi et Orbi” blessing (“To the City and to the World”) from the balcony of St Peter’s, surveying a world speckled with conflicts from Yemen to Myanmar, and calling for compassion towards those who have fled their homelands to seek a future in Europe and America.
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Leo, who was elected on May 8, said Thursday that Jesus Christ is “our peace” because he “shows us the way to overcome conflicts, whether interpersonal or international. With his grace, we can and must each day our part to reject hatred, violence and opposition, and to practice dialogue, peace and reconciliation.”
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The pontiff began by asking for “justice, peace and stability” for Lebanon, the Palestinian territories, Israel and Syria. Later, he said that, by becoming man, “Jesus took upon himself our fragility,” allowing him to identify “with those who have nothing left and have lost everything, like the inhabitants of Gaza.”
Leo celebrates Christmas Holy Mass at the Vatican.
Leo celebrates Christmas Holy Mass at the Vatican. Yara Nardi/Reuters
Leo holds an incent burner at St Peter’s Basilica.
Leo holds an incent burner at St Peter’s Basilica. Tiziana Fabi/AFP/Getty Images
The pope’s first Christmas since his election took place in wet and cold conditions, but that failed to deter large crowds from coming out to hear his message.
Earlier during Mass, he asked how, at Christmas, “can we not think of the tents in Gaza, exposed for weeks to rain, wind and cold.” With more than 400,000 homes destroyed during Israel’s war against Hamas, Gazans are being forced to choose this winter between living in tents exposed to the elements or living inside buildings that could collapse any minute.
“Fragile is the flesh of defenseless populations, tried by so many wars, ongoing or concluded, leaving behind rubble and open wounds,” Leo said. He quoted an Israeli poet, Yehuda Amichai, who called for peace to blossom “like wildflowers.”
Related article
The acting Latin Patriarch of Jerusalem Pierbattista Pizzaballa attends a morning Mass at Saint Catherine’s Church, in the Church of the Nativity, in Bethlehem, in the Israeli-occupied West Bank December 25, 2025. REUTERS/Mussa Qawasma
Christmas celebrated once again in Bethlehem but West Bank suffering persists
Later during his Christmas message, he called for compassion towards those “who are fleeing their homeland to seek a future elsewhere, like the many refugees and migrants who cross the Mediterranean or traverse the American continent.” He offered Christmas greetings in different languages including Italian, English, Arabic, Chinese, Polish.
Since his election, Leo has highlighted the plight of those suffering of those in Gaza, and has been outspoken by calling for the better treatment of migrants. In his first major interview in September, the American pope voiced concern over “some things” happening in the country of his birth, highlighting the significance of a letter his predecessor, Pope Francis, had sent to US bishops earlier this year, rebuking the administration’s deportation plans.
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Pope Leo XIV celebrated the first Christmas since his election by denouncing the suffering of people of Gaza – taking shelter in tents from the “rain, wind and cold” – and by calling for the guns to fall silent in Ukraine.
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On Christmas Day, the first US-born pope, offered the traditional “Urbi et Orbi” blessing (“To the City and to the World”) from the balcony of St Peter’s, surveying a world speckled with conflicts from Yemen to Myanmar, and calling for compassion towards those who have fled their homelands to seek a future in Europe and America.
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Leo, who was elected on May 8, said Thursday that Jesus Christ is “our peace” because he “shows us the way to overcome conflicts, whether interpersonal or international. With his grace, we can and must each day our part to reject hatred, violence and opposition, and to practice dialogue, peace and reconciliation.”
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The pontiff began by asking for “justice, peace and stability” for Lebanon, the Palestinian territories, Israel and Syria. Later, he said that, by becoming man, “Jesus took upon himself our fragility,” allowing him to identify “with those who have nothing left and have lost everything, like the inhabitants of Gaza.”
Leo celebrates Christmas Holy Mass at the Vatican.
Leo celebrates Christmas Holy Mass at the Vatican. Yara Nardi/Reuters
Leo holds an incent burner at St Peter’s Basilica.
Leo holds an incent burner at St Peter’s Basilica. Tiziana Fabi/AFP/Getty Images
The pope’s first Christmas since his election took place in wet and cold conditions, but that failed to deter large crowds from coming out to hear his message.
Earlier during Mass, he asked how, at Christmas, “can we not think of the tents in Gaza, exposed for weeks to rain, wind and cold.” With more than 400,000 homes destroyed during Israel’s war against Hamas, Gazans are being forced to choose this winter between living in tents exposed to the elements or living inside buildings that could collapse any minute.
“Fragile is the flesh of defenseless populations, tried by so many wars, ongoing or concluded, leaving behind rubble and open wounds,” Leo said. He quoted an Israeli poet, Yehuda Amichai, who called for peace to blossom “like wildflowers.”
Related article
The acting Latin Patriarch of Jerusalem Pierbattista Pizzaballa attends a morning Mass at Saint Catherine’s Church, in the Church of the Nativity, in Bethlehem, in the Israeli-occupied West Bank December 25, 2025. REUTERS/Mussa Qawasma
Christmas celebrated once again in Bethlehem but West Bank suffering persists
Later during his Christmas message, he called for compassion towards those “who are fleeing their homeland to seek a future elsewhere, like the many refugees and migrants who cross the Mediterranean or traverse the American continent.” He offered Christmas greetings in different languages including Italian, English, Arabic, Chinese, Polish.
Since his election, Leo has highlighted the plight of those suffering of those in Gaza, and has been outspoken by calling for the better treatment of migrants. In his first major interview in September, the American pope voiced concern over “some things” happening in the country of his birth, highlighting the significance of a letter his predecessor, Pope Francis, had sent to US bishops earlier this year, rebuking the administration’s deportation plans.
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A federal judge has ordered the release of 5-year-old Liam Conejo Ramos and his father from the South Texas Family Residential Center in Dilley, Texas, according to a ruling obtained by CNN.
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Liam and his father, Adrian, were taken by immigration agents from his snowy suburban Minneapolis driveway and sent 1,300 miles to a Texas detention facility designed to detain families. They have been detained for more than a week.
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The order specifies the preschooler and his father be released “as soon as practicable” and no later than Tuesday as their immigration case proceeds through the court system. The ruling, shared with CNN by the judge’s courtroom deputy, was first reported by the San Antonio Express-News.
“We are now working closely with our clients and their family to ensure a safe and timely reunion,” the family’s lawyers said in a Saturday statement. “We are pleased that the family will now be able to focus on being together and finding some peace after this traumatic ordeal.”
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Related article
Immigrants seeking asylum walk at the ICE South Texas Family Residential Center on Aug. 23, 2019, in Dilley, Texas.
READ: District judge’s scathing opinion ordering release of 5-year-old Liam Ramos and father
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In a scathing opinion, which at times read more like a civics lesson, US District Judge Fred Biery admonished “the government’s ignorance of an American historical document called the Declaration of Independence” and quoted Thomas Jefferson’s grievances against “a would-be authoritarian king,” saying today people “are hearing echos of that history.”
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Liam’s detention – and the striking photo of an agent clutching the boy’s Spider-Man backpack as he stared from under a cartoon bunny hat – fed mounting outrage over the Trump administration’s massive immigration crackdown in Minneapolis and renewed the question: What happens to children when their parents are abruptly taken by ICE?
In another diversion from the norms of judicial writing, the judge included the now famous image of Liam at the end of his opinion, under his signature, along with references to the Bible passages Matthew 19:14 and John 11:35.
Liam’s case, Biery wrote, originated in “the ill-conceived and incompetently-implemented government pursuit of daily deportation quotas, apparently even if it requires traumatizing children.”
“Observing human behavior confirms that for some among us, the perfidious lust for unbridled power and the imposition of cruelty in its quest know no bounds and are bereft of human decency,” wrote the judge. “And the rule of law be damned.”
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