Erix5son has a question over on PUAForums concerning the Mystery Method and how to apply it after you’ve “done the deed.”

Erix5son wrote:

So according to Mystery’s method that consists of Attraction, Comfort and seduction how should I play the dating game after the sex already occured?

I am thinking about keeping the comfort with some Tension while on dates or in public and use seduction when having private time with her?

Can somebody comfirm if this is correct/best approach to dating a women after you already had sex with her or give some basic guidelines.

Okay, just to be clear here… if sex has occurred, then you have successfully completed the “seduction” phase of Mystery Method.

Simple, right?

Understand:  The Mystery Method is mostly geared towards the initial “getting women to sleep with you” phase of things.  So you don’t really NEED to use it on a girl you’ve already slept with – unless you failed to establish any rapport with her and just “got lucky” because she was drunk, she just wanted to get laid and didn’t care by whom, or any other factors which might have gotten you the sex but zero inter-personal connection.

So let’s say you did Mystery Method right, and built up the attraction and comfort before you got her into bed.  If that’s the case, then guess what?  Your job is EASY now.

The reason being – sleeping with a girl you’ve already slept with is just a matter of asking her to sleep with you again.  Face it, a girl will justify her reasons for sleeping with you, and once she’s already done it, it’s not a big deal to do it again (unless something horrible happened while she was having sex with you that might make her not want to see you again).  But assuming your first sexual encounter went well, she knows that every time she sees you, the chance of you two having sex again is always there.

So really, after sex, your job is simple – continue to strengthen the connection you’ve made with her (building rapport), and keep flirting.  You don’t have to build attraction again because you’ve already attracted her.  So now, its just about making her feel good and keeping things fun and sexy.  You don’t need to play the “tension” games anymore.  In fact, the only reason to do that is if she’s not totally on the hook by this point.

You also have to take into account what you want to do with this girl – do you want a relationship with her?  Or do you just want to date her, bang her, and still see other people?  The reason being is you’ll have to treat the situation differently depending on what you want.

But the good news is – no matter what you decide, getting her to sleep with you again will be far easier than it was the first time around.  Just remember to keep the communication with her up!  The only sure way to lose a girl after you’ve slept with her is to never talk to her again.

Now, if you’re with a partner who has the same tastes as you – you’re in for a great time together! You can feel free to express yourself sexually, without her feeling offended, or judging you in any way. However, most people don’t see eye to eye on sex. Even if you see eye to eye on everything else.

The good news is: Almost every woman in the world is open to trying new things, in bed. It just takes one word: TRUST!

(And a little finesse when you bring it up

In this article, I’m going to try to show you exactly how you can earn a woman’s TRUST with her sexuality. Plus, we’ll talk about how to bring up new, more interesting and even “kinkier” sex acts – if that’s your thing.

You’ll discover:

• WHAT TO SAY so your sex life gets hotter and hotter… Instead of you getting slapped in the face! Try this “trick”… (Works like a charm, every time!)
• HOW TO TELL if she’s “down” for new or more exciting sex acts! This is the single, easiest way to get her to “open up” – sexually! (Try this, tonight!)
• TRY THIS, IN YOUR LIFE – Here’s a couple of “tried and true” favorite sex acts women love… That get you serious “bargaining power” in the bedroom! (You’ll love these…)

… Plus, we’ll try to go a bit deeper into how to build trust with your partner, so sex is fun instead of “work.” In fact, let’s talk about that, right now:

TRUST is the main thing a woman needs to feel in order to try something new, with you. Think about it, she’s smaller, she’s weaker physically and if you really wanted to – you could do anything with her you wanted.

So she needs to feel safe. That you’ll know when “enough is enough.” And that you’re not just in this for your own pleasure. That you really care about her having a great time.

Sexual trust is even more important than general trust to your relationship because it effects all areas of your life, on a very deep level. What happens in the bedroom stays in the bedroom – sure. But if you both are frustrated with your sex life, it won’t be long until you’re frustrated with each other outside the bedroom, as well.

What’s more – If she can’t trust you in the bedroom, and she meets a guy who she can trust, you’ll be gone in a quick second.

How do you build sexual trust? It’s actually EXTREMELY easy: Care about her pleasure, in bed. This doesn’t mean go down on her, every 5 seconds. It just means care for her. Make sure you check in and see if she likes what’s going on. Watch her face and her body. Watch her reactions. And don’t push her limits TOO much.

Do this with “lighter” things like spanking and dirty talk, and she’ll trust you once your sex gets a little kinkier. In fact, women have a kinky side, as well. And some of their favorite sex acts have to do with being extremely feminine – helpless, submissive and giving you all the power.

This is where trust is EXTREMELY important! So make sure you talk things over with your partner, before crazy stuff starts to happen. You don’t have to have a huge, hour long conversation before sex… but… A quick “hey, wanna try this?” before you actually lock her up in hand-cuffs will go a LONG way.

Some of a woman’s favorite sex “acts” that go above and beyond “normal” sex are being tied up, lots and lots of dirty talk, and any “rough” sex that puts her in the submissive position. (NOTE: Be careful, and pay completely attention to your partner. In fact, don’t try ANY kind of “rough” sex without first  talking to your partner… and… learning some “do”s and “don’t”s about rough sex from someone much more qualified to teach it, than me…)

And here’s a secret you may not know – If it’s one of your “favorite” things to do in bed, she’s going to like it. Guaranteed. For two reasons:

The first reason is, women are just as naughty and dirty as men. She loves the feelings in sex just as much as you do. And anything that gets you off because you’re either in control or not in control gets her off for the exact opposite reason.

Sex is a give and take. And as long as you’re one, she’ll be more than happy to play the other.

The second reason is your woman will want to make you happy. And sex is part of that desire. So let her fulfill your sexual fantasies, and then take some time to fulfill hers.

Like I said before. Give and take. This works between sessions, as well.

If you approach sex as a big “recess” – all fun and games – then your woman will ALWAYS want to try something new with you. If you like it, you can add it to your regular sex. And if not, oh well, you both found a “game” you don’t like to play much.

Eponymous writes:

There don’t seem to be very many comfort routines in the community, even though I’ve heard a lot of big names declare that “the game is played in comfort”. This is a great routine that anyone should be able to use, and it is automatically rooted/personalized, since you’re using your own parents as an example.

Summary: You tell the girl how your parents (or grandparents) met and got married, emphasizing differences in the story each parent tells you. A good lead in is “I asked my parents how they met the other day and…”

script_: I won’t share my parents’ story, which is awesome but not congruent for other people, so here is how you get your own parents to open up (this routine can work with grandparents as well, so you have potentially three different couples to choose from).

All you have to do is ask your mother and father, separately, how they met. Press them for as many details as you can: what were the first words they said to each other, where did they go for their first few dates, was it love at first sight or did it evolve over time, were there any other boys/girls in the picture, etc. You’d be surprised how much your parents will remember.

Now the key thing here is to do this separately, because very often you will get different perspectives or even two completely different takes on the same set of events. In my case, my father left out some very juicy details that my mom later told me. These kinds of inconsistencies make the routine way more interesting for girls.

From here you can take the conversation in a number of interesting directions: male-female interactions, how her parents met, the show How I Met Your Mother, etc.

Calibration: Emphasize certain aspects of the story over others, depending on what you want to convey to the woman. In my case, it turns out my dad was basically a player who finally chose to settle down with my mom, so that kind of story sends really good signals about pre-selection and brain-hijacking (credit: MM) to the girl.

Building comfort is SO important.  It’s nice to have a good routine like this to fall back on.