So that's what the side of $500,000 looks like!

In the annals of unusual celebrity insurance policies, Holly Madison’s recent revelation that she has a $1 million policy with Lloyd’s of London on her breasts barely raises an eyebrow. After all, Adam Lambert’s crotch was covered for an even mil. Celine Dion reportedly insured her voice. Heck, David Lee Roth wisely — so so wisely — insured himself against his own sperm (should one ever complete its journey).

You can appreciate why these stars seek such insurance. Without their unique feature or talent, they are no longer that special person. It’s why Jimmy Durante insured his nose and Dolly Parton insures her breasts. It’s just smart business, even though these folks had talent beyond their extraordinary anatomical attribute. Madison, on the other hand — well, let’s just say she’s wise to protect her surgeon-given assets. As she puts it, “They’re my primary money makers right now.” Indeed. It would be a shame if something happened to them, and she had to fall back on her medical degree.

In the Age of the Reality Star, Madison is probably ahead of the curve. Fame can be especially fleeting when it’s not founded on legitimate talent. If The Situation hasn’t already insured his abs, he better. What other reality stars might want to look into insuring their assets? Kim Kardashian? Steve-O?

So I guess that’s $500K a boob.  If she’s ever desperate for money, she can just stab one of them boobies and let all the silicon leak out, and she’s still got another $500K waiting in the wings!  lol.

I wonder if there’s a time constraint on that insurance policy?  I mean, at a certain point, those things are gonna get saggy and wrinkly, so what happens then?

Okay, so poor ScarJo had some naughty pics on her cell phone, and said phone got hacked by some douchebag hacker (and by douchebag, I mean God Amongst Men) and her naughty bits were then released upon the interwebs for all to enjoy.

The FBI is looking into the case because hacking is getting to get a serious problem.  And its said that poor Scarlett is incredibly distraught over the whole affair.  And we here at the Lair sympathize with her pain, anguish, and embarrassment over this whole situation.

That said, we’re also totally going to post these pics because they are so awesome.

These are NOT safe for work (like anything on this site is, really).  But, if you want to check them out, here they are…

Boobies!

This junk in the trunk ain't made for punks...

Yay!  Now we can all feel like Ryan Reynolds.  Only, without having to be a total douchenozzle.