Erix5son has a question over on PUAForums concerning the Mystery Method and how to apply it after you’ve “done the deed.”

Erix5son wrote:

So according to Mystery’s method that consists of Attraction, Comfort and seduction how should I play the dating game after the sex already occured?

I am thinking about keeping the comfort with some Tension while on dates or in public and use seduction when having private time with her?

Can somebody comfirm if this is correct/best approach to dating a women after you already had sex with her or give some basic guidelines.

Okay, just to be clear here… if sex has occurred, then you have successfully completed the “seduction” phase of Mystery Method.

Simple, right?

Understand:  The Mystery Method is mostly geared towards the initial “getting women to sleep with you” phase of things.  So you don’t really NEED to use it on a girl you’ve already slept with – unless you failed to establish any rapport with her and just “got lucky” because she was drunk, she just wanted to get laid and didn’t care by whom, or any other factors which might have gotten you the sex but zero inter-personal connection.

So let’s say you did Mystery Method right, and built up the attraction and comfort before you got her into bed.  If that’s the case, then guess what?  Your job is EASY now.

The reason being – sleeping with a girl you’ve already slept with is just a matter of asking her to sleep with you again.  Face it, a girl will justify her reasons for sleeping with you, and once she’s already done it, it’s not a big deal to do it again (unless something horrible happened while she was having sex with you that might make her not want to see you again).  But assuming your first sexual encounter went well, she knows that every time she sees you, the chance of you two having sex again is always there.

So really, after sex, your job is simple – continue to strengthen the connection you’ve made with her (building rapport), and keep flirting.  You don’t have to build attraction again because you’ve already attracted her.  So now, its just about making her feel good and keeping things fun and sexy.  You don’t need to play the “tension” games anymore.  In fact, the only reason to do that is if she’s not totally on the hook by this point.

You also have to take into account what you want to do with this girl – do you want a relationship with her?  Or do you just want to date her, bang her, and still see other people?  The reason being is you’ll have to treat the situation differently depending on what you want.

But the good news is – no matter what you decide, getting her to sleep with you again will be far easier than it was the first time around.  Just remember to keep the communication with her up!  The only sure way to lose a girl after you’ve slept with her is to never talk to her again.

It’s actually pretty interesting.  Check it out…

Taffer wrote:

Can't Close The Deal?

I ought to cut back on drinking, or texting, or the combination of both.

Last three girls I came close to bedding have courteously responded in a similar manner after my reinitiation attempts, questioning my game efficiency.

All three girls have this in common.

- initially very high attraction to me (kino, make outs, day2s)
- okay Day2s with one leading to Day3 and crappy sex performance on my side
- Immeditaley unavailable following Day2/3 180 change in ther attraction and commitment to seeing me

I could attribute this to, persistent periodic texting.
If I have a good Day2 I obviously wanna see this girl again in a week or two. Maybe I tried to set up the next date too soon because I waited as little as 4 days to 10 days after day2 to schedule next encounter.

Maybe it’s my personality, I’m very open-book type of guy which may put some people off.

There’s a chance I came across too relationshippy and didn’t continue to keep the attraction up.

Last girl responded with a version of this,

“Taffer, you’re a deeply loving individual deserving best treatment. I had a lovely time, but I’m seeing somebody else these days”

I’m aghast to have yet another girl responding with this “heartfelt” crap.

So I’m a great, awesome, caring guy, for SOMEONE ELSE! Tired of this crap.

How do I even react to something like this?
Lacking major calibration somewhere.

I’m at my wits end here folks. I’d appreciate any input you guys can offer.

There is definitely an issue going on here.  Typically, you have to have some measure of attraction to get a Day 2 (meeting after the initial encounter), so Taffer is definitely doing something right there.  But his game falls apart shortly thereafter with his Day 2 strategy.  Here’s why…

First of all, Day 2s are about building rapport and escalating attraction.  This is really the essential part that MUST be done if you’re looking to advance the relationship.  (I explain all of this in my course Consistent Close.)  You must keep building that comfort and trust and enhancing the attraction between you two if you want any shot of moving beyond a Day 2.  Closing with a make-out is always a good goal at the end of the date.

Second of all, 90% of pick-up is about the follow-up.  If you notice, Taffer thinks he’s texting the girl too much and that’s what’s getting him in trouble.  It’s not.  In fact, texting with a girl a lot is a GOOD thing because it keeps those connections you created alive and deepens rapport with her, eventually making her easier to close.  His problem is the “waiting 4 to 10 days to schedule the next encounter.”  Waiting too long to set up the next date can be a kiss of death when it comes to closing a girl.  You gotta strike while the iron is hot.  Try to set up the next meeting immediately or soon after the Day 2.  You can set up the next date for 4-10 days later if your both busy, but don’t WAIT that long to broach the subject!

So much about pick-up is timing.  You gotta act fast, because before you sleep with a girl, she has nothing invested in you.  After sleeping with her once (and preferably doing a good job so she’ll want to do it again), then you can relax on setting up the dates.  But until that happens, you gotta stay on the ball.

Allowing too much time to pass between meetings will allow any attraction you built up to dissipate, and you’ll also communicate that maybe you’re not really that interested in her, which will cause the girl to LJBF you.  If you set up a meeting right away and keep the connection and attraction strong with frequent flirty texting and phone sessions, the Day 3 should be a guaranteed lay.

Using computer-generated avatars, psychologists say they have unlocked the dance moves that will capture a woman’s heart. Apparently the speed of a man’s right knee and the size and variety of movements of the neck and torso are key, they suggest.

Throughout the animal kingdom examples abound of males performing courtship dances, attracting females with displays of health and skill. Dances are sexy among humans as well, and scientists wanted to codify what moves ladies like to see in men.

Psychologists at Northumbria University in England filmed 19 male volunteers, ages 18 to 35, with a 12-camera system as the men danced to a German dance track, the kind of drum rhythm one might hear clubbing. None of them were professional dancers.

The men also wore 38 small reflectors all over their body, which the systems monitored to capture the motions of the dancers in three dimensions — the same technique filmmakers used to help create the character of Gollum in the “Lord of the Rings” movies. These movements were mapped onto featureless, white, gender-neutral humanoid characters, or avatars.

This way, the 35 heterosexual women the scientists also recruited could rate 15-second clips of each dancer without being prejudiced by each guy’s individual level of physical attractiveness. Each dancer was judged on a scale of one to seven, from extremely bad to extremely good.

Guys whose swagger included larger and more variable movements of the neck and torso were considered attractive by the ladies.

“This is the first study to show objectively what differentiates a good dancer from a bad one,” said researcher Nick Neave, a psychologist at Northumbria University. “Men all over the world will be interested to know what moves they can throw to attract women.”

Curiously, faster bending and twisting movements of the right knee also seemed to catch the eyes of women. As a potential explanation, the researchers noted that 80 percent of all people are right-footed, so most people “are putting their weight on their left leg and using that leg as an anchor while the right can do more fancy things,” Neave suggested. “It is a bit of an odd finding, so we need more studies to see if this feature is replicated.”

He added: “We now know which area of the body females are looking at when they are making a judgment about male dance attractiveness. If a man knows what the key moves are, he can get some training and improve his chances of attracting a female through his dance style.”

In the online version of the journal Biology Letters Sept. 8, the researchers suggest these dance movements could be signs of male health, vigor or strength that men would find hard to fake. Neave said they have preliminary data to show that better dancers are also healthier and are more attractive, and they are exploring these ideas in current research studies.

“The hardest thing is to recruit males to take part,” Neave told LiveScience. “They seem rather reluctant to sign up for studies that involve dancing.”

I’ve long believed that a man’s prowess on the dancefloor is an indicator to women at how good he is in bed, since it communicates movement of the body.   Also, if a woman is willing to dance with you, she’s usually willing to get physical with you in other ways.  So knowing the moves that attract women can definitely be advantageous.

Be sure to check out the videos they include to see examples of the good and bad dance moves.