A new article in Time talks about how women who take Birth Control Pills have less sexual satisfaction, but more committed relationships…

Good news and bad for women who take the pill: new research finds that those who meet their partners while taking oral contraceptives report less sexual satisfaction in their relationships — but they’re also less likely to split up.

A study of 2,519 mothers, mainly from the U.S. and Czech Republic, found that those who met their first child’s father while on the pill were less sexually satisfied with their men, less attracted to them and experienced greater sexual dissatisfaction over time, compared with women who weren’t taking birth control pills.

But they also reported greater satisfaction with other aspects of their relationships, including the financial support provided by their mates, and were about 10% more likely to stay together. (If they did break up, the split was around 10% more likely to be initiated by the woman than the man.)

So, how could the pill possibly affect mate choice? It comes down to chemistry.

The researchers had previously discovered that women’s menstrual cycles affect the types of men to which they are most attracted. Part of having “chemistry” with someone is liking his smell, which is determined in part by an immune system molecule called MHC.

People tend to be attracted to partners with MHC types that are dissimilar from their own, probably because this would give their offspring a greater chance of survival by creating a diversified immune system. The pill, however, puts the body into a hormonal state similar to pregnancy — and pregnant women tend to prefer MHC scents that are similar to their own, probably because this would make them feel safe and comfortable around supportive relatives.

That means that if you’re taking the pill, you may be more likely to find attractive men whose MHC is similar to your own — but during your regular cycle, these men might seem less your “type.”

Indeed, during their most fertile phase, women tend to be drawn to more dominant, masculine men who are more likely to be unfaithful. In contrast, during the second part of their cycle, when they could already be pregnant, they are more attracted to calmer, more nurturing types.

So, basically, meeting while on the pill might make you choose a “dad” who may not be the most exciting guy, but who will stick around and support the kids. Conversely, meeting while not taking hormonal contraceptives might make the bad-boy “cad” seem irresistible.

Of course, there are many, many variables involved in choosing a partner and the influence of taking the pill is not huge. It’s possible that other underlying factors actually account for the differences between pill users and nonusers, perhaps related to their decisions about contraception and attitudes toward sex. The researchers tried to control for these factors, however, and still found that the effect persisted in two different countries.

Lead author Craig Roberts of the University of Stirling in the U.K. told the BBC: “Choosing a non-hormonal barrier method of contraception for a few months before getting married might be one way for a woman to check or reassure herself that she’s still attracted to her partner.”

My guess, however, is that if you are that concerned about your relationship, you might have other issues to iron out before booking the caterer.

You know what leads to less sexual satisfaction for everyone involved?  Having kids!  Seems like a fair trade to me.

Erix5son has a question over on PUAForums concerning the Mystery Method and how to apply it after you’ve “done the deed.”

Erix5son wrote:

So according to Mystery’s method that consists of Attraction, Comfort and seduction how should I play the dating game after the sex already occured?

I am thinking about keeping the comfort with some Tension while on dates or in public and use seduction when having private time with her?

Can somebody comfirm if this is correct/best approach to dating a women after you already had sex with her or give some basic guidelines.

Okay, just to be clear here… if sex has occurred, then you have successfully completed the “seduction” phase of Mystery Method.

Simple, right?

Understand:  The Mystery Method is mostly geared towards the initial “getting women to sleep with you” phase of things.  So you don’t really NEED to use it on a girl you’ve already slept with – unless you failed to establish any rapport with her and just “got lucky” because she was drunk, she just wanted to get laid and didn’t care by whom, or any other factors which might have gotten you the sex but zero inter-personal connection.

So let’s say you did Mystery Method right, and built up the attraction and comfort before you got her into bed.  If that’s the case, then guess what?  Your job is EASY now.

The reason being – sleeping with a girl you’ve already slept with is just a matter of asking her to sleep with you again.  Face it, a girl will justify her reasons for sleeping with you, and once she’s already done it, it’s not a big deal to do it again (unless something horrible happened while she was having sex with you that might make her not want to see you again).  But assuming your first sexual encounter went well, she knows that every time she sees you, the chance of you two having sex again is always there.

So really, after sex, your job is simple – continue to strengthen the connection you’ve made with her (building rapport), and keep flirting.  You don’t have to build attraction again because you’ve already attracted her.  So now, its just about making her feel good and keeping things fun and sexy.  You don’t need to play the “tension” games anymore.  In fact, the only reason to do that is if she’s not totally on the hook by this point.

You also have to take into account what you want to do with this girl – do you want a relationship with her?  Or do you just want to date her, bang her, and still see other people?  The reason being is you’ll have to treat the situation differently depending on what you want.

But the good news is – no matter what you decide, getting her to sleep with you again will be far easier than it was the first time around.  Just remember to keep the communication with her up!  The only sure way to lose a girl after you’ve slept with her is to never talk to her again.

Travellingwilbury over at the Attraction Forums poses an interesting question.  What is the procedure for getting a new relationship after an old one ends?  How long should you be single for?

Travellingwilbury writes:

Do you WANT to be single?

Considered posting this in the Relationships area, but it’s still a newbie question.

Let’s just say I haven’t had a lot of girlfriends. I’m not going to complain about that this time. I’ve been doing a lot of things wrong. At least I now know what they were. I’m feeling good about my ability to attract overall. The point is that I certainly haven’t had girlfriends serially – with small gaps between them, as many seem to.

In these questions I’m not talking about one night stands of fuckbuddies, I’m talking about relationships that last weeks and months…
Some guys have to put up with celibacy / no romance, for months. I don’t think any guys like being single, whereas girls seem to like it, or at least they are good at pretending to like it – freedom etc. A guy’s wife of many years dies, and I’ve seen it: he is seeing or even married to a woman 10 years younger than his late wife within 6 months. Some guys can’t stand a gap. Who here feels like they want very short gap? You might want more gap if the last relationship was emotional. But what does an alpha or a pua do when a relationship ends, assuming it didn’t end because he was already seeing another girl? Do you literally just decide that you need constant access to a woman’s body, any woman’s body and you just go out every night and day until you find one and then you can relax again, even if it takes a month?

Is that what you’re supposed to do? Loads of sudden concentrated effort. Are some of you driven to be single for only a short time. I’ve never done that. But my gaps were expected to be big, so I’ve never got used to being in a relationship, so I don’t notice the absence as much as some. I didn’t have a lot of girlfriends because I just assumed they would sort of turn up or approach me themselves. Some guys just seem to fall into relationships. It’s not just that they APPEAR effortless. I suspect they are REALLY making no effort, but they’re having everyday incidental contact with women in their lives anyway and they’re attractive, easy, handsome, well-groomed, by default and so no CONSCIOUS effort is needed.

I’m tortured by the concept that “It is easy to get a girlfriend!” because it is both true and false. If you really want one, it isn’t. If you don’t, but have a busy social life, it is. Correct? It’s easy or hard (or impossible) depending on your game, your expectations, your desperation and your lifestyle?

How long a gap could you stand? And how do you go about making sure a gap is short, if that is your preference? Approach every girl? Be impatient for a girl without seeming to be?

If I need to make efforts like that, I need more motivation and less nervousness – more exercise, and no salt, caffeine or masturbation.

Well, here’s how I see things…

First of all, this really comes down to a personal choice.  If you WANT to be in a relationship, it won’t take you too long to find one.  Relationships don’t have to be “good” relationships, they just have to be there.  I think every guy, at some point, has gotten into a relationship with a girl he wasn’t necessarily serious about because at the time, there was no one better for him to be with.  Some guys DON’T WANT to be in a relationship after they breakup with a girl, so it takes them longer.  And some guys want to, but they’re looking for a particular type of woman to be in a relationship with.

So depending on what you want, the time-frame from break-up to new girl can vary wildly.

Secondly, there is no such thing as a “no effort” when it comes to getting a girl, unless you’re wildly good looking or famous.  There’s always going to be stuff you HAVE to do if you want a girl to see you again, and commit to you in some type of relationship.  So even though it seems like there are guys out there who “fall into” relationships with no effort, that’s not really the case.  They do, in fact, do things to make that happen, and its probably because they want it to happen.

The worst thing you can do is, if you WANT a relationship, to sit around and do nothing, hoping that it will happen to you.  Waiting around for a girl to initiate something or for fate to step in is a losing proposition.  You need to meet girls, you need to hang out with girls, and you need to attract girls if you want a relationship of some type.

Taffer over on mASF wrote the following detailing his problems with Day 2s.

Taffer wrote:

Can't Close The Deal?

I ought to cut back on drinking, or texting, or the combination of both.

Last three girls I came close to bedding have courteously responded in a similar manner after my reinitiation attempts, questioning my game efficiency.

All three girls have this in common.

- initially very high attraction to me (kino, make outs, day2s)
- okay Day2s with one leading to Day3 and crappy sex performance on my side
- Immeditaley unavailable following Day2/3 180 change in ther attraction and commitment to seeing me

I could attribute this to, persistent periodic texting.
If I have a good Day2 I obviously wanna see this girl again in a week or two. Maybe I tried to set up the next date too soon because I waited as little as 4 days to 10 days after day2 to schedule next encounter.

Maybe it’s my personality, I’m very open-book type of guy which may put some people off.

There’s a chance I came across too relationshippy and didn’t continue to keep the attraction up.

Last girl responded with a version of this,

“Taffer, you’re a deeply loving individual deserving best treatment. I had a lovely time, but I’m seeing somebody else these days”

I’m aghast to have yet another girl responding with this “heartfelt” crap.

So I’m a great, awesome, caring guy, for SOMEONE ELSE! Tired of this crap.

How do I even react to something like this?
Lacking major calibration somewhere.

I’m at my wits end here folks. I’d appreciate any input you guys can offer.

There is definitely an issue going on here.  Typically, you have to have some measure of attraction to get a Day 2 (meeting after the initial encounter), so Taffer is definitely doing something right there.  But his game falls apart shortly thereafter with his Day 2 strategy.  Here’s why…

First of all, Day 2s are about building rapport and escalating attraction.  This is really the essential part that MUST be done if you’re looking to advance the relationship.  (I explain all of this in my course Consistent Close.)  You must keep building that comfort and trust and enhancing the attraction between you two if you want any shot of moving beyond a Day 2.  Closing with a make-out is always a good goal at the end of the date.

Second of all, 90% of pick-up is about the follow-up.  If you notice, Taffer thinks he’s texting the girl too much and that’s what’s getting him in trouble.  It’s not.  In fact, texting with a girl a lot is a GOOD thing because it keeps those connections you created alive and deepens rapport with her, eventually making her easier to close.  His problem is the “waiting 4 to 10 days to schedule the next encounter.”  Waiting too long to set up the next date can be a kiss of death when it comes to closing a girl.  You gotta strike while the iron is hot.  Try to set up the next meeting immediately or soon after the Day 2.  You can set up the next date for 4-10 days later if your both busy, but don’t WAIT that long to broach the subject!

So much about pick-up is timing.  You gotta act fast, because before you sleep with a girl, she has nothing invested in you.  After sleeping with her once (and preferably doing a good job so she’ll want to do it again), then you can relax on setting up the dates.  But until that happens, you gotta stay on the ball.

Allowing too much time to pass between meetings will allow any attraction you built up to dissipate, and you’ll also communicate that maybe you’re not really that interested in her, which will cause the girl to LJBF you.  If you set up a meeting right away and keep the connection and attraction strong with frequent flirty texting and phone sessions, the Day 3 should be a guaranteed lay.

Don Kanonji over on the Attraction Forums has an interesting question concerning frame control and inner game, when it has to do with dealing with rejection from women.

Don Kanonji writes:

Constant Rejection Making You Hate Women?

I’m pretty sure this happens/happened to everyone: Guy founds the community, goes out and tries some approaches only to be rejected dozens of times in a row.Guy becomes the mysoginist of the century and thinks all girls are a bunch of useless cunts who only care about rich and famous dudes.

For me and after a few years of a fucked up life I’m trying desperately to learn how to love myself and when some random girl just looks at me like I’m some kind of freak she basically reminds me of how much I need to change everything about myself.

How the f*** I’m supposed to like me the way I am, if I need to change EVERYTHING about me ?!

Well, I’m currently trying the best I can to get rid of this disease but sometimes I wonder if I need game or professional help.

What kind of things you say to yourself in these kind of situations?

I refuse to give up, but sometimes i feel like my head is about to explode

I feel your pain, Don.  This is probably the most common thing that pops up when going out and trying to pick up girls.  I know that when I first started pick-up, I had a LOT of issues to deal with in this regard.  I mean, its easy to become resentful of women when you want them so badly, yet you feel they all will reject you.  I think that’s just human nature, to despise that which we can’t have, and therefore make it seem like we don’t want it.

But let’s face it, we all want to be loved.  We want to feel like we’re a person of value to someone else.  And if you’re dealing with inner game issues, and are insecure about who you are, those rejections you collect when you go out to practice pick-up is… well, counterproductive!

Here’s the real problem though, and its solution…

The real problem is that if you get upset by rejection, you are STILL allowing other people to define your self worth.  What I mean by this is, you feel insecure about how attractive you are, how worthy you are, etc./whatever – and you’re seeking validation of your self-worth from other people (in this case, girls you find attractive).  So when they reject you, everything bad you think about yourself gets validated!  (I’m ugly, I’m stupid, I’m a loser, etc., etc.)

This can be devastating, especially to a guy who’s trying to start learning these pick-up tactics.

The key here, is to learn to love yourself FIRST.  Be secure with who you are FIRST.  Be the source of your own validation BEFORE you start trying to meet girls.  When you have this measure of self-love, guess what?  Rejection doesn’t sting anymore.  Learning to love yourself for who and what you are is the single, most important first step to true confidence, and will help you in all aspects of life – but it will especially help you with women!  That’s why I’ve created courses like Pure Personality and other things, to teach guys how to be confident with themselves and display that confidence to others.

So if you’re dealing with bitter feelings towards women because of rejection, take a deep breath, and let that anger go.  It’s not really anger for them, its anger you’re directing towards yourself, and its unhealthy.  You need to start doing things that boost you up.  If you need to do daily affirmations, do that.  If you need to work out and let off aggression, do that.  Learn to stop focusing on the negative about yourself, and focus on the positive.  Make a list of what you like about yourself, and every time you start to beat yourself up, shift your focus to those positive aspects.  Watch a funny movie.  Do WHATEVER it takes to change your mood to something positive, and learn to be comfortable feeling good about yourself.

Once you embrace this, you’ll find you can get rejected a billion times and not be hurt by it.  But you know what?  You WON’T get rejected a billion times, because women will be attracted to your positivity – I don’t care what you look like.  People will WANT to be around you if you have a good attitude.

And when that happens, it will be so easy for you to stay positive and happy.  I guarantee it.