How Long Should You Be Single After A Breakup?

September 29, 2011 by  
Filed under Analysis

Travellingwilbury over at the Attraction Forums poses an interesting question.  What is the procedure for getting a new relationship after an old one ends?  How long should you be single for?

Travellingwilbury writes:

Do you WANT to be single?

Considered posting this in the Relationships area, but it’s still a newbie question.

Let’s just say I haven’t had a lot of girlfriends. I’m not going to complain about that this time. I’ve been doing a lot of things wrong. At least I now know what they were. I’m feeling good about my ability to attract overall. The point is that I certainly haven’t had girlfriends serially – with small gaps between them, as many seem to.

In these questions I’m not talking about one night stands of fuckbuddies, I’m talking about relationships that last weeks and months…
Some guys have to put up with celibacy / no romance, for months. I don’t think any guys like being single, whereas girls seem to like it, or at least they are good at pretending to like it – freedom etc. A guy’s wife of many years dies, and I’ve seen it: he is seeing or even married to a woman 10 years younger than his late wife within 6 months. Some guys can’t stand a gap. Who here feels like they want very short gap? You might want more gap if the last relationship was emotional. But what does an alpha or a pua do when a relationship ends, assuming it didn’t end because he was already seeing another girl? Do you literally just decide that you need constant access to a woman’s body, any woman’s body and you just go out every night and day until you find one and then you can relax again, even if it takes a month?

Is that what you’re supposed to do? Loads of sudden concentrated effort. Are some of you driven to be single for only a short time. I’ve never done that. But my gaps were expected to be big, so I’ve never got used to being in a relationship, so I don’t notice the absence as much as some. I didn’t have a lot of girlfriends because I just assumed they would sort of turn up or approach me themselves. Some guys just seem to fall into relationships. It’s not just that they APPEAR effortless. I suspect they are REALLY making no effort, but they’re having everyday incidental contact with women in their lives anyway and they’re attractive, easy, handsome, well-groomed, by default and so no CONSCIOUS effort is needed.

I’m tortured by the concept that “It is easy to get a girlfriend!” because it is both true and false. If you really want one, it isn’t. If you don’t, but have a busy social life, it is. Correct? It’s easy or hard (or impossible) depending on your game, your expectations, your desperation and your lifestyle?

How long a gap could you stand? And how do you go about making sure a gap is short, if that is your preference? Approach every girl? Be impatient for a girl without seeming to be?

If I need to make efforts like that, I need more motivation and less nervousness – more exercise, and no salt, caffeine or masturbation.

Well, here’s how I see things…

First of all, this really comes down to a personal choice.  If you WANT to be in a relationship, it won’t take you too long to find one.  Relationships don’t have to be “good” relationships, they just have to be there.  I think every guy, at some point, has gotten into a relationship with a girl he wasn’t necessarily serious about because at the time, there was no one better for him to be with.  Some guys DON’T WANT to be in a relationship after they breakup with a girl, so it takes them longer.  And some guys want to, but they’re looking for a particular type of woman to be in a relationship with.

So depending on what you want, the time-frame from break-up to new girl can vary wildly.

Secondly, there is no such thing as a “no effort” when it comes to getting a girl, unless you’re wildly good looking or famous.  There’s always going to be stuff you HAVE to do if you want a girl to see you again, and commit to you in some type of relationship.  So even though it seems like there are guys out there who “fall into” relationships with no effort, that’s not really the case.  They do, in fact, do things to make that happen, and its probably because they want it to happen.

The worst thing you can do is, if you WANT a relationship, to sit around and do nothing, hoping that it will happen to you.  Waiting around for a girl to initiate something or for fate to step in is a losing proposition.  You need to meet girls, you need to hang out with girls, and you need to attract girls if you want a relationship of some type.

Get Your Free Guide Here!


7,831 Responses to “How Long Should You Be Single After A Breakup?”
  1. What I liked immediately was that it is suitable for many readers, including expecting parents, brand new parents,
    and even experienced caregivers of older children. The
    new dad or mom will rush over to soothe their baby back to sleep in their baby sleeping bag only
    to be awakened again by their cries and whines. Others (like me and
    many of you reading this), have children who may fall asleep
    easily the first month, but after that the trouble begins.

  2. Pine car derby races are promoted by the Cub Scouts and Boy Scouts.
    This because there are only few plans out there designed by professional woodworkers.
    Besides the 16,000 plans that cover a wide range of woodworking projects including furniture
    plans, bed plans, table plans, chair plans, and youngsters plans, an
    straightforward to follow and helpful guide is included.

  3. body works says:

    Your style is really unique compared to other folks I’ve read stuff from.
    Thanks for posting when you’ve got the opportunity, Guess I will just bookmark this web site.

  4. says:

    Through doing this, you can ensure that this company will provide everything you
    will need so as to make your campaign a great success.
    Erik van den Dolder, a blond with a receeding
    forehead likes to attend the Airbus-meetings in his Harley Davidson, and speaks English and German with a
    soft Dutch accent, said that he was working with Samuel in the same US firm and both
    were unhappy about the US products because they were old, not innovative,
    despite the fact that there was a big European market out
    there, waiting to be conquered. It makes you capable
    of measuring the efficiency and return on investment of your marketing campaigns.

  5. Remarkable things here. I’m very happy to look your post.

    Thank you so much and I am looking ahead to touch you.

    Will you please drop me a mail?

  6. Attractive portion of content. I simply stumbled upon your blog and in accession capital to assert
    that I acquire actually loved account your blog posts.
    Any way I’ll be subscribing to your augment and even I success you
    access constantly quickly.

  7. Unfortunately, the ‘Zeus’ hasn’t been around for enough time to be given a proper review.
    Android is progressing increasingly at express speed and overtaking with major share in market with its smartphone & tablet range.
    Listen in to control towers around the world
    and never again wonder if your flight will be called to board while you’re hanging on for dear life
    in the men’s room stall.

  8. They are sold in the used condition, if you prefer to find the second hand mobile
    so it is cheap as compared you would pay the same handset
    obtain on the local store. The best place to search for such batteries is of course the web.
    Mobile phones are becoming a fundamental element of the
    life of teens as well as younger children.

  9. read Source says:

    Even though a smartphone can’t substitute your point and shoot
    camera, the 8MP camera is your perfect companion in all those shooting sessions.
    Shopping from such store would help you save even more.
    Samsung has focused on high-end devices in the months that have passed.

  10. I go to see each day some web pages and information sites to read content, except this weblog gives feature based writing.

  11. DamonGyday says:

    current darknet markets dark markets portugal [url= ]dark markets moldova [/url]

  12. CorryOvelo says:

    how to darknet market dark markets slovenia [url= ]dark web prepaid cards reddit [/url]

  13. RalphAmono says:

    buy ssn dob with bitcoin what is the darknet market [url= ]darknet markets florida [/url]

  14. TornAllet says:

    darknet market guide reddit alphabay solutions reviews [url= ]darknet xanax [/url]

  15. Jamesnof says:

    counterfeit money deep web blue lady e pill [url= ]deep web link 2022 [/url]

  16. RobertNap says:

    current best darknet market how to get to darknet market [url= ]tor market nz [/url]

  17. ShaneVipsy says:

    bitcoin darknet drugs darknet markets wax weed [url= ]versus project market link [/url]

  18. RandyDeR says:

    price of black market drugs adresse dark web [url= ]counterfeit euro deep web [/url]

  19. Juliusguale says:

    best website to buy cc back market trustworthy [url= ]best darknet market for guns [/url]

  20. ZacharyKat says:

    darknet link drugs deep web software market [url= ]buying drugs online [/url]

  21. Brianhal says:

    darknet market sites dark market sites [url= ]darknet market links buy ssn [/url]

  22. WilliamFug says:

    darknet drugs market litecoin darknet markets [url= ]how to access darknet markets reddit [/url]

  23. Michaelhon says:

    new darknet markets 2022 reddit darknet market superlist [url= ]darkmarket website [/url]

  24. Julianamume says:

    darknet markets norge deep web software market [url= ]updated darknet market list [/url]

  25. GrantNuh says:

    top darknet markets buy drugs on darknet [url= ]darknet market litecoin [/url]

  26. CraigKit says:

    best darknet markets for vendors darknet market dash [url= ]black market dark web links [/url]

  27. HansTum says:

    active darknetmarkets counterfeit money dark web reddit [url= ]how to buy from darknet markets [/url]

  28. Charlesdon says:

    dark web drugs bitcoin incognito market url [url= ]incognito market url [/url]

  29. JustinCig says:

    drugs on the deep web darknet market sites and how to access [url= ]tor darknet [/url]

  30. RichardHoapy says:

    dark web electronics tor market darknet [url= ]darknet black market list [/url]

  31. DannyKag says:

    dark markets latvia darknet market litecoin [url= ]tor darknet market [/url]

  32. JamesLit says:

    reddit darknet markets noobs dark markets belgium [url= ]darknet markets working links [/url]

  33. HellyTaida says:

    darknet market oxycontin brick market [url= ]dark markets iceland [/url]

  34. MatthewDek says:

    dark web links adult dark web shopping [url= ]counterfeit money onion [/url]

  35. TimmyFal says:

    dark web drugs australia Cocorico Market darknet [url= ]duckduckgo onion site [/url]

  36. JanErype says:

    darknet markets urls cannazon url [url= ]dark markets 2022 [/url]

  37. Siradjum says:

    ruonion darknet illicit drugs [url= ]buy drugs from darknet [/url]

  38. JasonhycLe says:

    dxm pills bitcoin black market [url= ]dark web hitman for hire [/url]

  39. WilliamLeria says:

    duckduckgo onion site darknet drugs [url= ]dark web links [/url]

  40. DamonGyday says:

    darknet drug delivery dark markets united kingdom [url= ]dark markets lithuania [/url]

  41. RalphAmono says:

    how to buy drugs dark web dark markets ukraine [url= ]dark web vendors [/url]

  42. Jamesnof says:

    darknet live markets dark markets korea [url= ]popular dark websites [/url]

  43. CorryOvelo says:

    cannazon url links deep web tor [url= ]live darknet markets [/url]

  44. HaroldKag says:

    deep web cc sites link de hiden wiki [url= ]deep web cc dumps [/url]

Speak Your Mind

Tell us what you're thinking...
and oh, if you want a pic to show with your comment, go get a gravatar!