The Fundamentals of Game
June 6, 2009 by Psych
Filed under Articles, Featured, Guest Authors, Psych
In my last article I promised something for new guys so here it is, also if there’s anything you guys would really like me to cover then leave a comment and I’ll see about making a post .
To often do newbie and even intermediate guys focus on advanced concepts and ideas that either do nothing for them, or else make them seem weird without the fundamentals. In fact I suggest that all guys, including advanced, touch back on the fundamentals and make sure that they are either improving or not getting worse. This is a practice I do often actually. So exactly what are the fundamentals of game? I’ve thought about this and came up with the following…
-Body Language
-Tonality
-Eye Contact
-Light Kino (or touch) that isn’t creepy
-Vibing
-Being NORMAL
If you lack any of these six things then any other form of game is a complete waste of time. These six things make up the cake, the rest of game is the icing and decorating. Without the icing you might have a mediocre cake but with only the icing you don’t even have a cake. So lets break down each of these six things to get you started.
1. Body Language
In my mind there are two levels to Body Language. First thing to learn is the “Alpha” Body Language. Basically taking up space, chest out, chin up, back straight ect ect. There are countless articles and exercises out there to develop this, from the Alexander Technique to imagining a string running down your spine. The idea is to give off a dominant and powerful masculine energy that portrays confidence. Your nonverbal signs are 93% of your communication, your actual words being only 7%.
Now keep in mind that with all new skill sets in game you’re going to go overboard with everything and overdo it…this is actually a GOOD thing because you can only calibrate what’s appropriate by doing to much of something and then balancing it. If it’s not to much then you’re not pushing yourself and if it’s been to much for a while then you need to learn to tone it back down again.
The second level to learn once the first is down is how to relax. You don’t want to be the guy who constantly has to look like superman and is always caught on the idea of looking alpha. It’s time to relax your shoulders and develop more fluid carefree motions. The most powerful form of body language is looking completely at ease and comfortable in your own skin, again without it seeming try hard though. Later on once these are down you can learn more advanced body language for particular situations such as opening, rapport building, sexual, take away’s ect ect.
2. Tonality
This is by far one of the hardest to learn with the exception of “being normal” for some people. Speaking clearly without mumbling, talking in a loud and crisp voice, getting rid of any kind of stutter or pause fillers such as “uh” “um” “you know” “like” or anything similar. Your voice should also be animated and lively, if you have a monotonous voice then anything you say will be boring and people will not pay attention to you. Always try and speak from your diaphragm which is located between your chest and stomach, being nasal is the most unattractive voice quality. Finally having a deep voice will always help and it should sound strong and masculine. This is actually where I could still develop the furthest out of the six fundamentals and will probably take vocal lessons to improve my tonality, that’s how serious it is.
3. Eye Contact
Again there are two levels for this one. The first is basic eye contact where you are simply able to hold someones gaze, especially a girls. You shouldn’t be staring but instead be relaxed by it and give almost a curious energy through your eyes. Looking at her tits or ass will be doom for you, unless it’s done in an advanced way but again we’re focusing on the cake not the icing, and I even had a girl shit test me one time on this. I was on a date and the girl had double D tits and began jumping up and down in front of me acting happy. The entire time I kept my eyes locked on hers while smirking and finally she stopped and looked at me and said “very good”.
Keep in mind the eyes can betray submissiveness by darting your eyes away or especially by looking down. Once this is mastered then the second level would be sexual eye contact. This is hard to explain in words but it’s basically looking at a girl with your full desire for her being expressed through your eyes. It takes great confidence and nonverbally puts everything out on the table. With sexual eye contact you are still looking into her eyes and should have what’s called “laser eyes” where you maintain eye contact completely. With sexual eye contact even if she looks away your eyes should be focused on hers, this is not staring or being creepy about it though and can often be misinterpreted through writing. Best way to learn this is by watching movies and observing the actors eyes before he kisses the girl or even better going out in field and observing a natural. When you see a natural with a girl watch the way he looks at her and see if you can tell his strong sexual intent for her just from his eyes, if you can then you’re seeing it done right.
4. Light Kino
Many guys in field have one of the two problems. Either they can’t muster the courage to even touch a girl in any way or else they are incredibly aggressive and creep the girl out with uncomfortable kino. If you’re the first you MUST get over this and begin touching the girl. You should actually be touching not just her but everyone, even guys! Pats on the shoulder, elbow touches, light hand holds, upper back and the such. Basically if a guy can’t get light touch going how in the world does he expect to get sexual touching going. Also the longer you are in an interaction with a girl and not touching her the more precedent you set for NOT touching her and when you finally do it will be much more awkward and uncomfortable. This doesn’t mean you have to touch RIGHT from the approach, although you can, but definitely within the first 2-3 minutes.
For the aggressive guy just tone it down. This guy is definitely better then the first but women will often find you creepy. The reason for aggressive touching early on is either being drunk, way to sexual and horny, or trying to be “alpha”. If it’s the first then drink less or not at all. If it’s the second then really just try and control yourself, keep in mind that if you control yourself now you’ll be able to get all the touching you want later. For the third guy he needs to get over the idea of being so “alpha” and tone it down, if your aggressive kino hasn’t been working why not try it another way?
5. Vibing
This is basically being able to hold a normal and pleasant conversation without any motive. Can you talk with a girl comfortably about anything and engage in what is called “fluff talk”? If not then even though you have all these cool attraction routines and interesting stories she’ll become uncomfortable with you or else never see you as a real person. Vibing helps build familiarity and is a way to show that you’re normal (see number 6). Point blank if you can’t talk to a girl normally then how do you expect to talk to her in a way that makes her attracted to you? To practice this begin conversations with everyone and see how long you can keep it flowing while talking about every day things. Chances are though you already know how to vibe. Think of your conversations with your best friend or family member, pretty easy going and normal without an agenda. The idea is to duplicate that with a stranger and the best way I’ve seen is by assuming rapport and just talking to her as relaxed as possible without any investment or care in the interaction.
6. Being NORMAL
This is the hardest to teach for those trying to learn. Many guys who come into this community without having the average fundamental social skills and then begin learning advanced attraction material which makes them weird. No matter how much theory or routines you know if you can’t be normal with a girl she will see through you and want nothing to do with you. Some weirdness is OK though and shows individuality…it can be cute quirks to a personality. However for the most part you want to be a normal fun guy. Without that as the backbone of your game then NOTHING will work. The best way to develop being normal is to engage in a bunch of different activities so that you’re thrown in social settings. Also developing social circles is EXTREMELY useful. You should have social circles of normal cool guys (not the D&D buddies sorry) as well as social circles of attractive girls. It’s OK to be in the friend zone, you WANT female friends. You will not become normal though by spending all your time discussing game with community guys or have the only idea of social interactions be from your nights of sarging. Also developing a sense of humor and being aware of social feedback will help tremendously.
Alright so those are the fundamentals and I suggest everyone, no matter what your skill level is, to look into at least one of these things and try and improve it. These are all seriously the frames that hold up your game and if one should weaken due to lack of attention or development then it will all come down.
-Jarett aka Psych
Michaelgesty on 
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Very good basic beginner material covered here, but not a bad article.
Matt -
You should go back to your old format. You drove a lot more traffic to your site and had some really good material. I know you’re a super busy guy, but the site is becoming irrelevant.
RBP
Thundercat is a fag
Company Real Social Dynamics is unfair! I payed 2 x $47 for Real Social Dynamics Prague LIVE Workshop – April 23, 2009 (I payed it two times, because I payed for me and my friend). I thought, that it is refundable deposit. On their page is information: “Free Workshops – $47 Registration Fee – Refundable Provided You Attend”. It’s two months ago and no money back! I sent them 3 e-mails, no answer. I tried to call them (all their phones from web page) – noone is taking up the phone. On the workshop I filled some document, where I signed, that I want my money back. It wasn’t true, they are not good people. Real Social Dynamics, Inc. is unfair company!
This is not a bad article for beginners. However, I would definitely change the order and put “6. Being NORMAL” on the first place. People have to become normal first before having a go at pick-up. Without it, your body language and tonality can be flawless and your game will still fall apart. A good related post is BradP’s “Sticking points, sticking points, sticking points”. I have also written a post that was well-received, called Help! There is so much information out there and I don’t even know where to start.” Both can be easily found on the internet.
Psych, you’re a smart guy. I remember you from the masf chatrooms. Get a real job. Don’t go hanging out with douchebags like Thunderblob.
Let the Revolution Begin!
Barry Kirkey
Hey love the last point about knowing when to be normal. I got so into the whole pick up thing at one point I forgot how to be normal. Need to show her this every now and again or you’ll juts come accross as weird.
I agree with Mark…. just being normal can really help you. Most guys don’t act normal around girls.
To what degree do you rate yourself men? Why don’t you try just being your natural selves with the view to actually getting to know a woman. Try to be kind, caring, considerate of her. Stop thinking about sinking your dick and Don’t treat her like a potential piece of disposable pork. Who knows, she may actually fall in love with you and you can then throw the bag of useless transparent trick in the garbage because that’s what they are. You then have that beautiful gorgeous woman for life, morn noon and night and as much sex as you put effort into. And believe me if she falls in love with you, she’ll do anything for you. But you have to be real! If the act crumbles as it usually does within the first week she’ll see right through your bullshit and dump you. Try really appreciating the goddess that she is and thank god you found her and that she thought you good enough for her.
Hi, my problem is that girl is willing to come on lunch invitation always and not for fun meeting or enjoying etc. she just wants to meet her purpose of getting extracting the benefits only from me. Not interested much in personal relations.
Great article, great tips on body language and generally being social, BUT that’s all been coverede like thousand times before !!!
Now let’s think what average guy gets from this article…well guess what? Now he thinks he needs to impress people, desperately trying to be more attractive, instead of acting from true Alpha-male core and being natural.
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check out this recorded bit from the rsdworld summit its way better than this old article.
Wow, a lot of hate for Thundercat o.o
Thanks for sharing, Thundercat. I agree with the Being Normal piece. It’s very important.
Good starter material. Nothing groundbreaking, but helpful for the N00bs.
When is the podcast coming back?
Using sexual body language has really helped my game.
Covered A Lot Of Important Stuff There Thundercat.
Awesome article. No matter what ur style of game is,The fundamentals will always remain similar.
These are, indeed, great fundamentals to start out with! I´d like to add another one though that you´ll see no matter HOW one creates attraction:
Understanding VALUE.
Most men wrongly assume that they need to HAVE value to be able to attract women: looks, money, power, fame, social status, friends, whatever. Why? Because men fall for physique, beauty, youth, material things… and automatically assume women like these qualities too.
Meanwhile women fall for personality and charisma and also automatically assume that because they like it, men must like it too. This forms the basis of the battle of the sexes, the disappointment on both sides when discovering that the opposite sex is NOT attracted to the same things. It´s why men have a hard time understanding women, and women have a hard time understanding men when it comes to attraction: both sexes think they´re attracted to the same things as their sex are.
This is called attraction circuitry projection. Don´t get me wrong, men are to some extent attracted to personality and women to looks… but it only accounts for 10% of the big picture.
The result: ¨having¨ any alue whatsoever becomes irrelevant, because the value of personality and charisma is relative… different women perceive more or less value with different personality traits and levels of charisma.
Do you understand what this means? It means that as men, creating attraction is all about CREATING attraction and the PERCEIVED value we thus have… so we need NO material or physical things at all to be able to get women.
Proof: Cobra Commander on the Keys To The VIP show. He had nothing, but could get any woman…
To more dating success,
Dennis Miedema
Win With Women
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