An Approach to Approach Anxiety
January 26, 2009 by AFCAdam
Filed under AFCAdam, Articles, Featured, Guest Authors
Hey Guys,
For the new year I thought I’d tackle one of the first problems people experience within game and slowly move through the topics throughout the rest of 2009.
Are you afraid of approaching someone you like through a fear of rejection?
Do you get that horrible feeling in your stomach and begin to formulate 100 reasons why someone wouldn’t want to talk to you?
This is a lot more common than you would believe. There are a number of different products out there which will supposedly “fix” the fear of approaching strangers, especially ones you are attracted to. However, few of them take the time to understand why we have that fear in the first place. If you understand why you have this fear or anxiety, you can take steps to counter it. This is probably the biggest topic when it comes to understanding attraction. Well, that is to say, it is the one that most people have the biggest problem with. I constantly receive the same excuses time and time again when it comes to this subject.
1) I’m scared of approaching
2) I have a fear of rejection
3) They aren’t in the mood to be spoken to
4) She won’t think I look good enough
5) I can’t meet people in a park/cinema/night club
6) I’m not good enough for him/her
7) There’s no point, it won’t work
These are probably the most common reasons I am given as to why someone can’t approach, or the feeling that is preventing them from approaching. The fact that these are so prevalent is because they are all based on very real psychological factors to do with learning and behaviour.
Anxiety is defined by Seligman, Walker and Rosenhan (2001) as a physiological state characterized by cognitive, somatic, emotional, and behavioral components. These factors essentially make up the feelings that we experience as fear, apprehension, and worry.
There are some physical sensations that you will probably be aware of such as heart palpitations, nausea, chest pain, shortness of breath, sweaty palms, shaking and perhaps headaches. These may be common to you. Some people will disguise these by making a decision not to approach. This will relieve the sensations and instead leave a sort of “numbness” to the situation.
Sigmund Freud himself believed that these anxious feelings were created by an association between a past negative experience and the current situation. These associations are often false and not related through causality – the idea that one situation directly affects another, but through correlation – one thing “tends to affect another over repeated attempts.”
When people begin to see this correlation as a fact, it is commonly referred to as “Magical Thinking.”
There are two governing principles behind magical thinking. The first is the law of similarity which is the notion that things that resemble each other are casually connected in some way that defies scientific testing.
For example:
Here people will typically see vertical columns of squares and circles as opposed to horizontal mixed rows of squares and circles.
The second law is the law of contagion which is the belief that “things that have been in physical contact or in spatial or temporal association with other things retain a connection after they are separated.” Contagion effects have been noted to be more effective with negative associations than with positive ones. This is probably best explained by the notion of getting “bad luck” or having a bad time every time you go to a specific venue.
Freud believed that the anxiety or fear was maintained through a form operant conditioning. Essentially the feeling of anxiety is reinforced every time you are in a similar situation. You then “learn” to remove the negative feeling of anxiety by not approaching. These connections of patterns, or “magical thinking,” are common throughout all the human societies across the world. The human brain is adept at forming these patterns, though we do not have a particularly good system for distinguishing between real and perceived connections. Theoretically this is due to a simple survival tactic. If we notice rustling behind a bush it is better for us to assume it is some form of threat and begin to prep our bodies to defend ourselves rather than ignore it and risk being eaten.
Our fear or anxiety response is actually designed to help us survive in a fight or flight scenario. Believe it or not the symptoms detailed earlier are all beneficial to us in times of survival. Perspiration occurs to help cool us down, heart rate increases to improve blood circulation and muscles tighten as they are filled with oxygen in preparation for use. Unfortunately these are not particularly beneficial when we are looking for something witty to say during a conversation with someone.
In short we learn the fear through a number of negative experiences and then reinforce them by not doing anything about it. The bodies natural reaction towards a fearful situation is the feeling we associate with approach anxiety or the fear of the approach. The way to overcome this is to reverse the learning.
All of the common problems detailed above can be directly related to either “magical thinking” in the form of a false belief that failure is almost certain due to some form of connection to a previous situation that failed. Or pure fear learnt and reinforced by not approaching. These are both forms of self fulfilled prophecy i.e. Unless you actively do something to fix it they will continue to support themselves. The good news is that this problem is far from unfixable.
The bad news is that it does take time. The easiest way to fix this is to actually go out and meet new people. The problem is that when you do this, any negative experience you receive is likely to reinforce the previous attitude or fear you had before. As I’ve mentioned before one of the easiest ways to get around this is to simply meet people for the sake of meeting people.
Most of us are actually more than happy to talk to other people, especially on boring long journeys, or when waiting in a long queue. Get used to talking to absolutely everybody, male or female, young and old. This should help you generate a great deal of positive responses to your approaches and help curb some of those negative connections.
I hope this helps guys,
Adam Lyons
(AFC Adam)
Michaelgesty on 
рабочая ссылка на blacksprut on 
StevenNailk on 
buy tadalafil 5 mg from india on 
RickyBuM on 
buy temovate no prescription cheap cordarone order amiodarone 100mg
A Clínica Dr. Günther Heller é uma referência em tratamentos de Invisalign, ClearCorrect e implantes dentais. Liderada pelo renomado Dr. Heller, a clínica oferece atendimento especializado e personalizado, utilizando tecnologia avançada para criar soluções personalizadas. Com expertise em ortodontia, os tratamentos de Invisalign e ClearCorrect são discretos e eficazes para corrigir problemas de alinhamento dental. Além disso, a clínica é reconhecida pela excelência em implantes dentais, oferecendo resultados duradouros e esteticamente agradáveis. Com uma equipe qualificada e liderança experiente, a Clínica Dr. Günther Heller é a escolha certa para transformar sorrisos e obter uma saúde bucal de qualidade.
dabigatran mechanism of action [url=http://commandkol39.stranky1.cz]tv flat hd цена антенна[/url] simplex alarm systems
pay my speeding ticket online [url=https://classifiedlbg8800.fo.team]кушон venzen отзывы цена и отзывы покупателей[/url] underhung bridge crane
web templates designs [url=https://tsmyeu.zombeek.cz]купить прокси снг[/url] plumbers berkeley ca
overhead door charlotte nc [url=https://telegra.ph/Moshchnyj-binokl-atn-binox-hd-05-08]мощный бинокль atn binox hd[/url] mazda new car prices
sql services not starting [url=https://exhibitstlg701.fo.team]купить динамический прокси[/url] ma child support
san diego workers compensation [url=https://telegra.ph/Minecraft-100-weaponmod-skatchat-05-07]minecraft 1.0.0 weaponmod скатчать[/url] grand rapids internet
girl colleges [url=https://nperqc.zombeek.cz]Купить карепрост Пермь[/url] why birth control is important
purchase clobetasol without prescription temovate ca buy amiodarone generic
homeland security high school [url=https://zpwpve.zombeek.cz]green acne stick отзывы реальные отзывы покупателей и врачей[/url] online hire
Nicely put. With thanks.
[url=https://essaytyperhelp.com/]writing help[/url] essaytyper [url=https://helptowriteanessay.com/]help writing essay[/url] help with essay writing
as roofing [url=https://leatherspl68.fo.team]Попперс Михайловск[/url] austin tx moving company
do banks notarize [url=https://ra3m0u.zombeek.cz]Карепрост Сургут[/url] seo professional
car insurance in Wichita KS [url=https://telegra.ph/Kareprost-Severodvinsk-05-09]Карепрост Северодвинск[/url] cheap website host
insurance estimating software [url=https://en18cg.zombeek.cz]купить турецкие прокси[/url] legal definition of sexual assault
clarendon eye associates [url=https://telegra.ph/Venzen-tonalnyj-kushon-05-12]venzen тональный кушон[/url] marshalls security
crime scene investigator university [url=https://studiedpnp33.fo.team]скачать деревня для minecraft[/url] dechert law
is insurance worth it [url=https://telegra.ph/Cifrovoj-ohotnichij-binokl-atn-binox-hd-s-videokameroj-kupit-v-moskve-05-09]цифровой охотничий бинокль atn binox hd с видеокамерой купить в москве[/url] self study courses
windows bitlocker drive encryption [url=https://ra3m0u.zombeek.cz]Карепрост Сургут[/url] preschool curriculum standards
https://pharmacyindia.pro/# indianpharmacy com
high volume copy machines [url=https://sheonm548.fo.team]Попперс Ростов-на-Дону[/url] u.c. davis medical school
best india pharmacy: pharmacy website india – top online pharmacy india
what is qsa [url=https://asciimuj8584.fo.team]Карепрост Санкт-Петербург[/url] online doctor of ministry
online university faculty jobs [url=https://seaspee1741.fo.team]купить прокси instagram[/url] simple web builder
punta cana all inclusive family vacations [url=https://telegra.ph/Proksi-socks4-kupit-05-21]прокси socks4 купить[/url] ansell touch n tuff gloves
trade school maryland [url=https://telegra.ph/Venzen-kushon-tonalnyj-05-07]venzen кушон тональный[/url] adn
dental cosmetic imaging software [url=http://cutuyo401.firemni-web.cz]купить соксы прокси[/url] charles schwab credit cards
computer programming tutor [url=https://onlmwb.zombeek.cz]аванафил производитель[/url] best surrogacy agencies
order generic temovate buspirone order order cordarone 200mg for sale
advertising agencies dallas [url=http://sityjs0821.diskutuje.cz]maralpant крем для суставов цена[/url] traveling to toronto canada
how to send large movie files [url=https://sickglf419.fo.team]купить прокси ипв6[/url] lyons orthodontics el dorado hills
school locker prices [url=http://economieshqd5463.firemni-web.cz]купить резидентские прокси[/url] olde discount stockbrokers
Great data. Kudos!
[url=https://hireawriterforanessay.com/]online essay writer[/url] write an essay [url=https://theessayswriters.com/]essay writer no plagiarism[/url] write an essay for me
internet service providers federal way wa [url=https://2znlf571f9.it.gg]обновляемые прокси купить[/url] movers carlsbad ca
personell management [url=http://defineshko43.diskutuje.cz]прокси россия купить[/url] pysic readings
Kudos. Numerous advice!
[url=https://bestpaperwritingservice.com/]pay for paper[/url] research paper writing service [url=https://bestonlinepaperwritingservices.com/]custom research paper writing services[/url] paper writing service reviews
Работа в Кемерово
best medical practice software [url=https://telegra.ph/Amerikanskie-proksi-kupit-05-06]американские прокси купить[/url] cpap benefits
dr goldfarb [url=https://benjamingfd54.fo.team]аванафил купить в аптеке спб[/url] renters insureance
university of southern oregon [url=http://bootsfan266.nafotil.cz]видеорегистратор neoline x cop 9100s[/url] server host
secure deletion of data [url=http://tracksmxj91.osobni-stranka.cz]прокси купить lolzteam[/url] cable in ct
one year masters programs ucla [url=http://concentrationhky3915.nafotil.cz]сербия прокси купить[/url] how to make breast milk
corolla fx16 [url=https://nxtf8i.zombeek.cz]динамические прокси купить[/url] park bom plastic surgery before and after
parotid salivary gland [url=https://2bpimw.zombeek.cz]купить мобильные прокси[/url] communication degrees online
top rated life insurance companies [url=https://7fnval.zombeek.cz]купить прокси крым[/url] electronics engineering degree programs
quartz countertops maintenance [url=https://feelingquy387.fo.team]дополнения для minecraft 1.3.2[/url] sharepoint cloud
remote pc support [url=https://gjrsf7.zombeek.cz]сервера на minecraft видео[/url] where to sell rolex watches
B52 là một trò chơi đổi thưởng phổ biến, được cung cấp trên các nền tảng iOS và Android. Nếu bạn muốn trải nghiệm tốt nhất trò chơi này, hãy làm theo hướng dẫn cài đặt dưới đây.
HƯỚNG DẪN CÀI ĐẶT TRÊN ANDROID:
Nhấn vào “Tải bản cài đặt” cho thiết bị Android của bạn.
Mở file APK vừa tải về trên điện thoại.
Bật tùy chọn “Cho phép cài đặt ứng dụng từ nguồn khác CHPLAY” trong cài đặt thiết bị.
Chọn “OK” và tiến hành cài đặt.
HƯỚNG DẪN CÀI ĐẶT TRÊN iOS:
Nhấn vào “Tải bản cài đặt” dành cho iOS để tải trực tiếp.
Chọn “Mở”, sau đó chọn “Cài đặt”.
Truy cập vào “Cài đặt” trên iPhone, chọn “Cài đặt chung” – “Quản lý VPN & Thiết bị”.
Chọn “Ứng dụng doanh nghiệp” hiển thị và sau đó chọn “Tin cậy…”
B52 là một trò chơi đổi thưởng đáng chơi và có uy tín. Nếu bạn quan tâm đến trò chơi này, hãy tải và cài đặt ngay để bắt đầu trải nghiệm. Chúc bạn chơi game vui vẻ và may mắn!
preventative maintenance plan [url=http://namibiajjw99.stranky1.cz]neoline x cop 9100s цена[/url] power core combiners