The Fundamentals of Game

June 6, 2009 by  
Filed under Articles, Featured, Guest Authors, Psych

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In my last article I promised something for new guys so here it is, also if there’s anything you guys would really like me to cover then leave a comment and I’ll see about making a post .

To often do newbie and even intermediate guys focus on advanced concepts and ideas that either do nothing for them, or else make them seem weird without the fundamentals. In fact I suggest that all guys, including advanced, touch back on the fundamentals and make sure that they are either improving or not getting worse. This is a practice I do often actually. So exactly what are the fundamentals of game? I’ve thought about this and came up with the following…

-Body Language

-Tonality

-Eye Contact

-Light Kino (or touch) that isn’t creepy

-Vibing

-Being NORMAL

If you lack any of these six things then any other form of game is a complete waste of time. These six things make up the cake, the rest of game is the icing and decorating. Without the icing you might have a mediocre cake but with only the icing you don’t even have a cake. So lets break down each of these six things to get you started.

1. Body Language

In my mind there are two levels to Body Language. First thing to learn is the “Alpha” Body Language. Basically taking up space, chest out, chin up, back straight ect ect. There are countless articles and exercises out there to develop this, from the Alexander Technique to imagining a string running down your spine. The idea is to give off a dominant and powerful masculine energy that portrays confidence. Your nonverbal signs are 93% of your communication, your actual words being only 7%.

Now keep in mind that with all new skill sets in game you’re going to go overboard with everything and overdo it…this is actually a GOOD thing because you can only calibrate what’s appropriate by doing to much of something and then balancing it. If it’s not to much then you’re not pushing yourself and if it’s been to much for a while then you need to learn to tone it back down again.

The second level to learn once the first is down is how to relax. You don’t want to be the guy who constantly has to look like superman and is always caught on the idea of looking alpha. It’s time to relax your shoulders and develop more fluid carefree motions. The most powerful form of body language is looking completely at ease and comfortable in your own skin, again without it seeming try hard though. Later on once these are down you can learn more advanced body language for particular situations such as opening, rapport building, sexual, take away’s ect ect.

2. Tonality

This is by far one of the hardest to learn with the exception of “being normal” for some people. Speaking clearly without mumbling, talking in a loud and crisp voice, getting rid of any kind of stutter or pause fillers such as “uh” “um” “you know” “like” or anything similar. Your voice should also be animated and lively, if you have a monotonous voice then anything you say will be boring and people will not pay attention to you. Always try and speak from your diaphragm which is located between your chest and stomach, being nasal is the most unattractive voice quality. Finally having a deep voice will always help and it should sound strong and masculine. This is actually where I could still develop the furthest out of the six fundamentals and will probably take vocal lessons to improve my tonality, that’s how serious it is.

3. Eye Contact

Again there are two levels for this one. The first is basic eye contact where you are simply able to hold someones gaze, especially a girls. You shouldn’t be staring but instead be relaxed by it and give almost a curious energy through your eyes. Looking at her tits or ass will be doom for you, unless it’s done in an advanced way but again we’re focusing on the cake not the icing, and I even had a girl shit test me one time on this. I was on a date and the girl had double D tits and began jumping up and down in front of me acting happy. The entire time I kept my eyes locked on hers while smirking and finally she stopped and looked at me and said “very good”.

Keep in mind the eyes can betray submissiveness by darting your eyes away or especially by looking down. Once this is mastered then the second level would be sexual eye contact. This is hard to explain in words but it’s basically looking at a girl with your full desire for her being expressed through your eyes. It takes great confidence and nonverbally puts everything out on the table. With sexual eye contact you are still looking into her eyes and should have what’s called “laser eyes” where you maintain eye contact completely. With sexual eye contact even if she looks away your eyes should be focused on hers, this is not staring or being creepy about it though and can often be misinterpreted through writing. Best way to learn this is by watching movies and observing the actors eyes before he kisses the girl or even better going out in field and observing a natural. When you see a natural with a girl watch the way he looks at her and see if you can tell his strong sexual intent for her just from his eyes, if you can then you’re seeing it done right.

4. Light Kino

Many guys in field have one of the two problems. Either they can’t muster the courage to even touch a girl in any way or else they are incredibly aggressive and creep the girl out with uncomfortable kino. If you’re the first you MUST get over this and begin touching the girl. You should actually be touching not just her but everyone, even guys! Pats on the shoulder, elbow touches, light hand holds, upper back and the such. Basically if a guy can’t get light touch going how in the world does he expect to get sexual touching going. Also the longer you are in an interaction with a girl and not touching her the more precedent you set for NOT touching her and when you finally do it will be much more awkward and uncomfortable. This doesn’t mean you have to touch RIGHT from the approach, although you can, but definitely within the first 2-3 minutes.

For the aggressive guy just tone it down. This guy is definitely better then the first but women will often find you creepy. The reason for aggressive touching early on is either being drunk, way to sexual and horny, or trying to be “alpha”. If it’s the first then drink less or not at all. If it’s the second then really just try and control yourself, keep in mind that if you control yourself now you’ll be able to get all the touching you want later. For the third guy he needs to get over the idea of being so “alpha” and tone it down, if your aggressive kino hasn’t been working why not try it another way?

5. Vibing

This is basically being able to hold a normal and pleasant conversation without any motive. Can you talk with a girl comfortably about anything and engage in what is called “fluff talk”? If not then even though you have all these cool attraction routines and interesting stories she’ll become uncomfortable with you or else never see you as a real person. Vibing helps build familiarity and is a way to show that you’re normal (see number 6). Point blank if you can’t talk to a girl normally then how do you expect to talk to her in a way that makes her attracted to you? To practice this begin conversations with everyone and see how long you can keep it flowing while talking about every day things. Chances are though you already know how to vibe. Think of your conversations with your best friend or family member, pretty easy going and normal without an agenda. The idea is to duplicate that with a stranger and the best way I’ve seen is by assuming rapport and just talking to her as relaxed as possible without any investment or care in the interaction.

6. Being NORMAL

This is the hardest to teach for those trying to learn. Many guys who come into this community without having the average fundamental social skills and then begin learning advanced attraction material which makes them weird. No matter how much theory or routines you know if you can’t be normal with a girl she will see through you and want nothing to do with you. Some weirdness is OK though and shows individuality…it can be cute quirks to a personality. However for the most part you want to be a normal fun guy. Without that as the backbone of your game then NOTHING will work. The best way to develop being normal is to engage in a bunch of different activities so that you’re thrown in social settings. Also developing social circles is EXTREMELY useful. You should have social circles of normal cool guys (not the D&D buddies sorry) as well as social circles of attractive girls. It’s OK to be in the friend zone, you WANT female friends. You will not become normal though by spending all your time discussing game with community guys or have the only idea of social interactions be from your nights of sarging.  Also developing a sense of humor and being aware of social feedback will help tremendously.

Alright so those are the fundamentals and I suggest everyone, no matter what your skill level is, to look into at least one of these things and try and improve it. These are all seriously the frames that hold up your game and if one should weaken due to lack of attention or development then it will all come down.

-Jarett aka Psych

Dreamweaver – Rest In Peace

March 18, 2009 by  
Filed under News

I write this post with a heavy heart.  One of my good friends from the community, Dreamweaver, passed away this morning after a long battle with Brain Cancer.

Dreamweaver (or Seth, as his friends knew him) was at the very first pick-up workshop I ever took.  He was young, good-looking, funny, and full of life and energy.  When his brain tumor was discovered, it was a shock to everyone.

Despite the odds, Dreamweaver lived longer than all the doctors expected, and during that time, he fulfilled his goal of directing a feature film, and he was working on a new film based on his experiences in the seduction community when he passed away.

Whenever I saw Seth, he was always in good humor about his condition, even after brain surgery which permanently disfigured his head, and harsh chemo therapy which ravaged his skin, he was always someone who was quick to joke and cheer people up around him, when we should have been the ones to try and make him feel better.

Dreamweaver also played an important role in Neil Strauss’s book, the Game.  He was someone everyone in the Project Hollywood era knew and admired, and I was lucky enough to consider him a friend.

My prayers go out to his family at this difficult time.  I’m told his final hours were quite traumatic for those who cared for him, especially his mother and his girlfriend.

I hope those of you who knew Seth will take a moment and offer him and his family your best wishes in this trying time.

Farewell, Seth.  You will be missed.

Stephane & Ideagasms – Threats, Lies, & Craziness…

February 9, 2009 by  
Filed under Drama & Rumors

Okay, back in September I posted a little thread about how crazy Stephane has become and the meltdown he experienced after Ghita finally got away from the guy.  As of this writing, that was 5 MONTHS AGO.  Since then, I have given very little thought to that post, and have not posted anything about it until now.  It seems that even though that silly little post is old news to me, Stephane is still obsessing over it.

I’ve recently been getting very strange emails from the guy.  The tone of them is wildly schizophrenic.  He’ll refer to me as “his enemy” in one sentence, and then practically beg me to take down my blog post in the next.

Him and his “wife” (I didn’t even know the guy was married) have made a concerted effort to try and contact people affiliated with me and get them to stop “promoting” my website in an effort to destroy me.

Not only that, they’ve been trying their best to “defame” me and my business where-ever they can, including this very blog.  Stephane whines I’m not letting him share “his side” of the story, even though I don’t edit any replies made to my postings.

Whatever.  I really don’t care.  Better men than Stephane have come after me, and failed.  They can do what they want to try and “defeat” me or whatever.  I know they’ll fail.  Why?  Because they did not make me succeed, so they can’t take away anything I’ve earned through my own hard work – no matter how much they lie about me.  I’m used to people lying about me and defaming me.  It comes with the territory I guess.

So I’d have never bothered to blog about this loser again – except for the fact that now I’m getting reports that he’s threatening OTHER bloggers out there who picked up on how crazy he is.

Lots of reports about crazy, threatening emails and even phone calls threatening to come over to their houses with a crew of thugs – all because people are posting… the truth?

Stephaker has literally lost his mind.

If this is the way he operates, the guy deserves to go out of business, if you ask me.  Attacking me is one thing, but attacking OTHER people?  That’s inexcusable.  Stephaker now has the distinction of being just as bad as Ross Jeffries, which is saying a lot – considering how evil MINE’99 is.

I would encourage everyone out there – IGNORE anything and everything this Stephane guy does.  His threats are empty.  Do not let “fear” keep you from speaking out about him.  Steve Piccus, just the other day, told me something very sage:  The blog is mightier than the fraud.  I’m convinced Stephane is an unstable, habitual LIAR, and the only way to stop a liar is to reveal the truth and never let him bully you.

Please put this lunatic in the same category as every other sociopath out there.  Do not read his emails, do not respond to his posts, and do not give him any money.  Just make him go away – for good.  The guy can always get a job at McDonalds.

Ghita learned that once she got away from this guy, life was good.  Life can be good for all of us if we just ignore this crazy and get on with our lives.  So don’t let him bully you!  Stand up against him, and tell him to Fuck Off.

A real sound “inner game/spiritual guru” would not resort to threating people in such petty ways.  Shame on you Stephane.

An Approach to Approach Anxiety

January 26, 2009 by  
Filed under AFCAdam, Articles, Featured, Guest Authors

Hey Guys,

For the new year I thought I’d tackle one of the first problems people experience within game and slowly move through the topics throughout the rest of 2009.

Are you afraid of approaching someone you like through a fear of rejection?

Do you get that horrible feeling in your stomach and begin to formulate 100 reasons why someone wouldn’t want to talk to you?

This is a lot more common than you would believe. There are a number of different products out there which will supposedly “fix” the fear of approaching strangers, especially ones you are attracted to. However, few of them take the time to understand why we have that fear in the first place. If you understand why you have this fear or anxiety, you can take steps to counter it. This is probably the biggest topic when it comes to understanding attraction. Well, that is to say, it is the one that most people have the biggest problem with. I constantly receive the same excuses time and time again when it comes to this subject.

1) I’m scared of approaching

2) I have a fear of rejection

3) They aren’t in the mood to be spoken to

4) She won’t think I look good enough

5) I can’t meet people in a park/cinema/night club

6) I’m not good enough for him/her

7) There’s no point, it won’t work

These are probably the most common reasons I am given as to why someone can’t approach, or the feeling that is preventing them from approaching. The fact that these are so prevalent is because they are all based on very real psychological factors to do with learning and behaviour.

Anxiety is defined by Seligman, Walker and Rosenhan (2001) as a physiological state characterized by cognitive, somatic, emotional, and behavioral components. These factors essentially make up the feelings that we experience as fear, apprehension, and worry.

There are some physical sensations that you will probably be aware of such as heart palpitations, nausea, chest pain, shortness of breath, sweaty palms, shaking and perhaps headaches. These may be common to you. Some people will disguise these by making a decision not to approach. This will relieve the sensations and instead leave a sort of “numbness” to the situation.

Sigmund Freud himself believed that these anxious feelings were created by an association between a past negative experience and the current situation. These associations are often false and not related through causality – the idea that one situation directly affects another, but through correlation – one thing “tends to affect another over repeated attempts.”

When people begin to see this correlation as a fact, it is commonly referred to as “Magical Thinking.”

There are two governing principles behind magical thinking. The first is the law of similarity which is the notion that things that resemble each other are casually connected in some way that defies scientific testing.

 

For example:

Diagram 1

Here people will typically see vertical columns of squares and circles as opposed to horizontal mixed rows of squares and circles.

The second law is the law of contagion which is the belief that “things that have been in physical contact or in spatial or temporal association with other things retain a connection after they are separated.” Contagion effects have been noted to be more effective with negative associations than with positive ones. This is probably best explained by the notion of getting “bad luck” or having a bad time every time you go to a specific venue.

Freud believed that the anxiety or fear was maintained through a form operant conditioning. Essentially the feeling of anxiety is reinforced every time you are in a similar situation. You then “learn” to remove the negative feeling of anxiety by not approaching. These connections of patterns, or “magical thinking,” are common throughout all the human societies across the world. The human brain is adept at forming these patterns, though we do not have a particularly good system for distinguishing between real and perceived connections. Theoretically this is due to a simple survival tactic. If we notice rustling behind a bush it is better for us to assume it is some form of threat and begin to prep our bodies to defend ourselves rather than ignore it and risk being eaten.

Our fear or anxiety response is actually designed to help us survive in a fight or flight scenario. Believe it or not the symptoms detailed earlier are all beneficial to us in times of survival. Perspiration occurs to help cool us down, heart rate increases to improve blood circulation and muscles tighten as they are filled with oxygen in preparation for use. Unfortunately these are not particularly beneficial when we are looking for something witty to say during a conversation with someone.

In short we learn the fear through a number of negative experiences and then reinforce them by not doing anything about it. The bodies natural reaction towards a fearful situation is the feeling we associate with approach anxiety or the fear of the approach. The way to overcome this is to reverse the learning.

All of the common problems detailed above can be directly related to either “magical thinking” in the form of a false belief that failure is almost certain due to some form of connection to a previous situation that failed. Or pure fear learnt and reinforced by not approaching. These are both forms of self fulfilled prophecy i.e. Unless you actively do something to fix it they will continue to support themselves. The good news is that this problem is far from unfixable.

The bad news is that it does take time. The easiest way to fix this is to actually go out and meet new people. The problem is that when you do this, any negative experience you receive is likely to reinforce the previous attitude or fear you had before. As I’ve mentioned before one of the easiest ways to get around this is to simply meet people for the sake of meeting people.

Most of us are actually more than happy to talk to other people, especially on boring long journeys, or when waiting in a long queue. Get used to talking to absolutely everybody, male or female, young and old. This should help you generate a great deal of positive responses to your approaches and help curb some of those negative connections.

 

I hope this helps guys,

Adam Lyons

(AFC Adam)

The Top 10 Pick Up Artists Of 2008

January 9, 2009 by  
Filed under Top 10 Lists

Welcome one and all to the Top 10 list of best Pick Up Artists for the year 2008!

2008 was a strange year – for me personally, and for a lot of others, I think.  In many ways, I’m glad the year is over.  But regardless of how good of a year it was, there were many people in the seduction community who continued to rise above petty squabbles and drama and actually help other men improve their lives and their success with women, and this list is a CELEBRATION of those men, who have helped others throughout the past year.

For those of you new to the list, let me explain how the rankings work.  It becomes very easy to get “caught up” in the hype of certain personalities, so I try and rank the Top 10 based on a number of criteria, which I believe must be present to be considered a good “PUA.”  So all of this years winners were ranked based on:

1.  In-Field Performance.  This is basically the skills the PUA displays in the field with women.  Most Top 10s deal with this factor exclusively, but I’ve found that just looking at a guy’s in-field performance can be misleading, since people have off-nights or can get lucky.  That said, their ability to use the techniques in field repeatedly and consistently to get results is a big, big factor in the ranking process.

2.  Innovations.  This is what new outlook or techniques the PUA brings to the table.  It’s easy for any new guy to get good using Mystery Method or any other school of seduction, but then again, that stuff is designed to work!  So being innovative and bringing a new twist, spin, philosophy, technique, or whatever to the mix is also a big deal, because that means the PUA actually has something to contribute to his students and the community as a whole that no one else does.

3.  Teaching Ability.  This is how effectively the PUA can teach what he does to other people, and have them get similar results.  This is another important factor, because it weeds out the people who are just the lucky naturals, and finds the PUAs who have something to offer humanity as a whole.  After all, I don’t care if a guy gets laid a lot.  I care if that guy can get ME laid a lot – and I think the same is true for you.  That is why I factor in the PUA’s ability to teach others into the ranking.

4.  Contributions To The Community.  This is a measure of how much the PUA “gives back” to others in the seduction community.  This factor is all about the PUA’s willingness to help others, the knowledge and experience he’s willing to share, and the compassion he shows to those who need help.  Too many PUAs look down on people not as successful with women as they are, and that’s not what the seduction community is about, so giving back to it should play a factor, in my opinion.

5.  Philosophy.  This comes down to the PUA’s outlook on life, women, and other men in general.  It’s about how they live their lives, and whether they’re consistent with it.  Some PUAs spout great philosophy, but don’t really believe in it or practice it.  But it’s that core foundations which will influence their students, so I believe this is important in factoring the rankings.

6.  Likability.  One of the things I base my ranking on is whether I actually like the PUA or not.  This is a subjective thing, but I feel its important, because there’s usually a reason I don’t like someone, and that reason has to do with them being a fake, fraud, evil bastard, or what have you.  I like to think I have a fairly decent “B.S. Radar,” so when I meet a PUA in person, I can usually tell if they are legit or not after getting to know them, which is why I tend to rank PUAs I have actually met in real life.  If I haven’t met them, I need to get good feedback from at least 3 sources I trust to make the decision to rank them in this category.

Okay, so now that you know how I rank the list, let’s get to it! Read more

Top 10 Contest 2008: Best Product

January 8, 2009 by  
Filed under Top 10 Lists

Hey guys,

Great job with the other contests!  We definitely have some winners there.  Remember, I’ll be announcing the winnners TOMORROW, along with the unveiling of the Top 10 PUAs of 2008.

But for now, how about another contest worth $100?

Tell me what you thought was the best product of 2008.  The course you got that changed your life forever!  One caveat is that the product had to have been released during 2008, so nothing from before that – even if its new to you!  Also be sure to include WHY you thought the product was so good, and mention where others can find it.

I may hold off until Sunday to announce the winner of this one since the Top 10 comes out tommorrow, unless of course someone writes a great entry really quickly, in which case I’ll just make the announcement along with the others.

Don’t forget – it is totally possible to win more than one contest!  That means if you enter all three with a good entry, you can get $300!

So be sure to check back tomorrow for the unveiling of the Top 10 list!  I’m sure it will surprise some people.

Top 10 Contest 2008: Best New PUA

January 6, 2009 by  
Filed under Top 10 Lists

Hey guys,

So far, no winners on the Craziest Drama contests.  None of you guys really seem to be putting forth any effort in explaining what the best drama was and why it was so much fun.  I’m looking for PASSION, people!  I’ll be extending all contests deadlines to Friday and announcing the winnners at the same time as the unveiling of the Top 10 list to give people more time to participate.

Today’s contest is who you think the best new PUA on the scene in 2008 was.  You have to give their name, a detailed reason why you think they’re so good, and any links to back up your statements (blog posts, videos showing them doinng their thing, etc.)

Winner of this contest gets… $100!

So if you win both contests, that’s $200 smackers in your pocket.

Top 10 2008 Contest 1: Craziest Drama

January 4, 2009 by  
Filed under Top 10 Lists

Okay guys, Day 1 of our countdown to the Top 10 list this year is an easy one…

What do you think was the craziest community “drama” to happen in 2008?  Please give a *DETAILED* explanation as to why you think it is the craziest, what impact (if any) it had in the community, and what you enjoyed the most about it.

The winner of this contest will get…

$100!

Right out of me own pocket, to spend on whatever you want.

Sound good?

Winner gets announced on Wednesday.  If no one gives me anything good, or no one enters, I’ll just roll the prize money into the next contest.

So get yer butt into the comments thread of this post and start submitting your entries.  Can you submit more than one?  Fo’ sure.  But remember:  You can’t win if you don’t enter!  So if you’re one of those hoity-toity types who wipes his arse with Benjamins, don’t bother entering.

For the rest of you, I look forward to seeing your entries!

I’m Baaaa-aaack…

January 4, 2009 by  
Filed under Top 10 Lists

S’up party people.

In case you didn’t notice, I took a little “mental health” break from the blog for a few months.  Just needed some time to unwind and have fun instead of dealing with people who wanna hate on me and threaten lawsuits and the like.

I wanna apologize to those of you who liked my Pick Up Artists Recaps.  I had tivoed all the episodes with the intent of doing recaps, but honestly, I just couldn’t bring myself to do it.  I really, really, REALLY did not enjoy this season and it was a great deal of effort to sit there and make up masturbating serial killer jokes – something which just simply should NOT be work… ever.

Maybe if I’m feeling really masochistic some day, I’ll download the eps I missed on iTunes and recap them then.  But otherwise, I’m going to have to stop.

One thing I will NOT stop, however, is my TOP 10 PUA LIST.

I usually release the list on New Years Eve/Day, at least traditionally, but I found myself in a situation this year where I was without internet for a good week and a half, so I was not able to post this year’s rankings.

But I will, in fact, be posting the 2008 list THIS FRIDAY, January 9th.

Why this Friday?  So I can spend some time this week giving away the obligatory fan-fare prizes that go along with the unveiling of the list!  Duh.

As always, prizes will be dispensed based on Blog Participation, so you’ll want to check in every day leading up to Friday to see what the new contest is.

This year I’ll be giving away mostly money, since it’s too much of a hassle to deliver prizes and crap to people.  So I hope you guys out there are a fan of cash!  Because this year, I’m gonna be giving away a LOT of it.  Savvy?

So let’s get started with the TOP 10 COUNTDOWN, BABY!!!!